jbryant

...

Edited for being too sloooow

[Edited by jbryant - 12/6/2002 2:46:59 PM]

swan

~Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.

~Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to
headbang.

~At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

~Two words: Chicken suit.

~Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

~Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

~Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

~Stop at the green lights.

~Go at the red ones.

~Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

~Eat food that requires silverware.

~Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

~Sing without having the radio on.

~Honk frequently without motivation.

~Ask people for Grey Poupon.

~Let pedestrians know who's boss.

~Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.

~Restart your car at every stop light.

~Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

~Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.

~While stopped at a light, pis* out the window/sunroof onto other cars.

~Paint your car with occult symbols.

~Keep at least five cats in the car.

~Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy s*x.

~Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.

~Stop and collect roadkill.

~Stop and pray to roadkill.

brickboy

Nice one -- although I'm usually too busy pouring a coffee, lighting a *** and texting my mates while shaving to do any of those

MooseRacer

a quick tommy passes the time nicely

swan

MR - a tommy would be a what?

Dark Blue Mark

Tommy Tank - ****

MB

swan

Sorry I asked... your upholstery must be in wonderful condition...

muppet paster

Be nice if the odd motorist bothered to look out of their windows once in a while. Still, when else do you get chance to learn brail?

chiark

believe it or not, there's some cantons of Switzerland where you're obliged to do this.

The same country also publishes the names and addresses of the owner of every registration number, handily cross referenced.

Oh, and everyone over a certain age has a hand-gun at home.

Road rage is, apparently, not a problem. Wonder why?

Mice_Elf

You've forgotten to add Shoot people with your mobile phone and wear oven mitts.