Office dares - Give 'em a try!!
20 September 2002, 11:26 AM
#1
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ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
> 1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
> 2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
> 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
> 3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
> 4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name
> and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
> 5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
> your ears and grimace.
> 6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and
> whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
> 7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
> say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
> 8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
> 9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
> open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
> 1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
> double-barreled fingers.
> 2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you
> get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
> 3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
> 4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
> the
> nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
> 5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
> 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
> nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if
> you actually launch into it yourself).
> 2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch
> you
> with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
> 3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
> 4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
> do a number two".
> 5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican
> accent. As in" the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
> 6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
> 7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead
> repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
> 8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
> my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
> 9) In a colleague_s diary, write in
> 10am: "See how I look in tights".
> 10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
> trade?".
> 11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same
> person:
> " Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
> 12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I
> can't talk about it".
> 13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won
> a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
> 14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
> a
> very important conference call.
> 15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
> 16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
> your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
> 17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
> smash each biscuit with your fist.
> 18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair
> towards
> the door.
> 19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
> attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life
> counterparts.
> 1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
> 2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
> 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
> 3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
> 4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name
> and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
> 5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
> your ears and grimace.
> 6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and
> whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
> 7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
> say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
> 8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
> 9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
> open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
> 1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
> double-barreled fingers.
> 2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you
> get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
> 3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
> 4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
> the
> nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
> 5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
> 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
> nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if
> you actually launch into it yourself).
> 2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch
> you
> with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
> 3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
> 4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
> do a number two".
> 5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican
> accent. As in" the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
> 6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
> 7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead
> repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
> 8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
> my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
> 9) In a colleague_s diary, write in
> 10am: "See how I look in tights".
> 10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
> trade?".
> 11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same
> person:
> " Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
> 12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I
> can't talk about it".
> 13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won
> a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
> 14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
> a
> very important conference call.
> 15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
> 16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
> your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
> 17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
> smash each biscuit with your fist.
> 18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair
> towards
> the door.
> 19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
> attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life
> counterparts.
20 September 2002, 01:52 PM
#4
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Once you've done all those give these a go. Probably worth 10 points each 
TOP 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST GUY/GIRL IN YOUR OFFICE
10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath, even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.
9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were joking and call them a bunch of w@nkers.
8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting,
pretend you're hacking up a greenie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "BEAT THAT".
7. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then p1ss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good sh@g up the ****.
6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.
5. Answer every question with "F***ed if I know...", then call the
person a racial slur that doesn't even match their colour.
4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun.
3. Run around the office with your dick out spraying p1ss everywhere and yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh!"
2. Ask to borrow a colleague's expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your **** - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it- when they say that it smells, say:
"It should - I had it up my ****"
1.Have a cr@p on your office floor and, when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realise it is real **** - laugh and embarrass them in front of everyone.
TOP 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST GUY/GIRL IN YOUR OFFICE
10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath, even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.
9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were joking and call them a bunch of w@nkers.
8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting,
pretend you're hacking up a greenie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "BEAT THAT".
7. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then p1ss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good sh@g up the ****.
6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.
5. Answer every question with "F***ed if I know...", then call the
person a racial slur that doesn't even match their colour.
4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun.
3. Run around the office with your dick out spraying p1ss everywhere and yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh!"
2. Ask to borrow a colleague's expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your **** - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it- when they say that it smells, say:
"It should - I had it up my ****"
1.Have a cr@p on your office floor and, when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realise it is real **** - laugh and embarrass them in front of everyone.
20 September 2002, 02:37 PM
#5
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and if that wasn't enough for you 
...
> 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
> 2) Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
> 3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
> 4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
> 5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
> 6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".
> 7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
> 8) Don't use any punctuation
> 9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
> 10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
> 11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
> 12) Sing along at the opera.
> 13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
> 14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
> 15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
> 16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
> 17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!3rd time this week!!!"
> 18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
> 19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
...> 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
> 2) Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
> 3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
> 4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
> 5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
> 6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".
> 7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
> 8) Don't use any punctuation
> 9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
> 10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
> 11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
> 12) Sing along at the opera.
> 13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
> 14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
> 15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
> 16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
> 17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!3rd time this week!!!"
> 18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
> 19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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