Alan Partridge.......
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aha!! now my league of gentlemen question has been answered, does anyone know when we can see some alan partridge new stuff? its my fave comedy, but i'm starting to know each episode off by heart now
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toothless simpletons....horses running through council estates...
wine this and wine that...
sorry-you've gone again...
Mr Partridge shall I take her out?......Oh God no!You can't do that!
clown without make up.......deputy headmaster of a comprehensive
wine this and wine that...
sorry-you've gone again...
Mr Partridge shall I take her out?......Oh God no!You can't do that!
clown without make up.......deputy headmaster of a comprehensive
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I think one of the funniest scenes in the last series was where he sacked all his staff but pulled the old bird, took her back to his hotel, then came out of the bathroom before bedding her to say "give it 15 minutes and it should be ok in there!" Classic!
Saw him live a few years ago - just as good.
Saw him live a few years ago - just as good.
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When caught stealing the traffic cones by the police : 
Copper > "Whats your name?"
Alan > "..err...Car...err..Bill Car"
LMAO!!!!
Best episode for me was the when he went back to the loonies house pretending it was his
"P**s off you bloody mentalist!"
Copper > "Whats your name?"
Alan > "..err...Car...err..Bill Car"
LMAO!!!!
Best episode for me was the when he went back to the loonies house pretending it was his
"P**s off you bloody mentalist!"
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From: Conrod Straight
Not forgetting the episode when he is in his hotel room wearing shorts when his assistant notices his nadgers are hanging out, he pops them back in with the FAF line "the boys are back in the barracks" quality.
Dave
Dave
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From: The poliotical wing of Chip Sengravy.
the geordie porter telling the tale of his mate in the army dicovering that the bird was a boy...
"...I might aswell get me money's worth,so he flips her over.. "
Lynne enters the room -
" ...and it started first time "
"...I might aswell get me money's worth,so he flips her over.. "
Lynne enters the room -
" ...and it started first time "
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MORRIS: Sport now, with Alan Partridge. Alan, you're a keen fan of the law, aren't you?
PARTRIDGE: I certainly am, I support the law fully. Not too keen on those that break it, though.
MORRIS: How do you support it, then?
PARTRIDGE: Just generally... support it.
MORRIS: What, just generally turn up on a Saturday afternoon and wave at it from the touchline?
PARTRIDGE: [Totally lost] What? [Recovers] This is Sportsdesk, I'm Alan Partridge and it's a special desk of sport now, as we look back on some of the sporting highlights of the last sporting season. So lie down, relax, and let the sports commence.
[A montage of sporting events. First up, cycling.]
PARTRIDGE: If it's cycling championships you're after, you can't say fairer than the Tour De France.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: Dave Bradaur there in the lead, swaying from side to side in his own inimitable bike-riding way. Klaus Binthere on the inside, pumping away with those gristle-like muscley legs inside those tight lycra shorts which have become his trademark. [A team car with spare bikes on the roofrack enters frame.] And I don't know what this man is playing at! No way! Surely the judges must come down like a ton of bricks on that. Carrying bikes on the top of a car is not a sportsmanlike way to run this race. [An aerial view of events.] You join me now in the helicopter as we look down on these cyclists that look somehow like cattle in a mad way, but cattle on bikes. [The finish line.] And there's Sven Gunsoon, closely followed by his close friend and teammate Klaus Bin- and the man with the bikes on his car is, yes! He's disqualified as I said, and Klaus Binthere wins. Riding none-handed! No need for that.
PARTRIDGE: It was a belter of a season for athletics.
[A 1500 metres race.]
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: 1500 metres there, and Cram... not a lot happening, quite unremarkable actually - oh good, someone's fallen! It's Peter Elliot! Yes! He's down, Peter Elliot, no relation to the late Denholm... and come on Pete, back on your feet, you can catch up with them! No, he can't be bothered.
PARTRIDGE: But it was upsets all the way in the dive championships.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: Greg Lugani, down, double back twister, bangs his head and in. Textbook. Lovely. Let's see it again. He boings down, up in the air, double back twister, comes down, bangs his head on the board and in. Lovely! The judges surely will give him high marks for that.
PARTRIDGE: But for my money, the best punches were being pulled this season in the boxing ring.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: ...as he's affectionately known to me. Thank goodness actually they're wearing gloves, because I've witnessed bare knuckle boxing in a barn in Somerset about three years ago, and it was a sorry sight to see men goading them on in such a barbaric fashion. And I'm rather ashamed to say I was party to that goading, two men fighting as I saw in the barn that night, naked as the day they were born and fighting the way God intended. Wrestling at points - I don't know if you've seen "Women In Love", that marvellous scene by the fire. It kind of resembled that.
PARTRIDGE: I'm Alan Partridge, and that was my sporting season. Why don't you join me for another one? Join me.
PARTRIDGE: I certainly am, I support the law fully. Not too keen on those that break it, though.
MORRIS: How do you support it, then?
PARTRIDGE: Just generally... support it.
MORRIS: What, just generally turn up on a Saturday afternoon and wave at it from the touchline?
PARTRIDGE: [Totally lost] What? [Recovers] This is Sportsdesk, I'm Alan Partridge and it's a special desk of sport now, as we look back on some of the sporting highlights of the last sporting season. So lie down, relax, and let the sports commence.
[A montage of sporting events. First up, cycling.]
PARTRIDGE: If it's cycling championships you're after, you can't say fairer than the Tour De France.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: Dave Bradaur there in the lead, swaying from side to side in his own inimitable bike-riding way. Klaus Binthere on the inside, pumping away with those gristle-like muscley legs inside those tight lycra shorts which have become his trademark. [A team car with spare bikes on the roofrack enters frame.] And I don't know what this man is playing at! No way! Surely the judges must come down like a ton of bricks on that. Carrying bikes on the top of a car is not a sportsmanlike way to run this race. [An aerial view of events.] You join me now in the helicopter as we look down on these cyclists that look somehow like cattle in a mad way, but cattle on bikes. [The finish line.] And there's Sven Gunsoon, closely followed by his close friend and teammate Klaus Bin- and the man with the bikes on his car is, yes! He's disqualified as I said, and Klaus Binthere wins. Riding none-handed! No need for that.
PARTRIDGE: It was a belter of a season for athletics.
[A 1500 metres race.]
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: 1500 metres there, and Cram... not a lot happening, quite unremarkable actually - oh good, someone's fallen! It's Peter Elliot! Yes! He's down, Peter Elliot, no relation to the late Denholm... and come on Pete, back on your feet, you can catch up with them! No, he can't be bothered.
PARTRIDGE: But it was upsets all the way in the dive championships.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: Greg Lugani, down, double back twister, bangs his head and in. Textbook. Lovely. Let's see it again. He boings down, up in the air, double back twister, comes down, bangs his head on the board and in. Lovely! The judges surely will give him high marks for that.
PARTRIDGE: But for my money, the best punches were being pulled this season in the boxing ring.
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]: ...as he's affectionately known to me. Thank goodness actually they're wearing gloves, because I've witnessed bare knuckle boxing in a barn in Somerset about three years ago, and it was a sorry sight to see men goading them on in such a barbaric fashion. And I'm rather ashamed to say I was party to that goading, two men fighting as I saw in the barn that night, naked as the day they were born and fighting the way God intended. Wrestling at points - I don't know if you've seen "Women In Love", that marvellous scene by the fire. It kind of resembled that.
PARTRIDGE: I'm Alan Partridge, and that was my sporting season. Why don't you join me for another one? Join me.
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MARK_TM
We're doin one-liners on this thread m8. Not whole episodes (I know, The Day Today)
If you write another reply we can use this elastic band to measure how much you put.....
Will it be:-
Tightness number 1
OR
Tightness number 2
We're doin one-liners on this thread m8. Not whole episodes (I know, The Day Today)
If you write another reply we can use this elastic band to measure how much you put.....
Will it be:-
Tightness number 1
OR
Tightness number 2
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