Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

Now I know this might be a delicate topic, so chose to post in here rather than upset my fellow FB so called friends....

Not many on here would know, not that I keep it hidden, but I have a disabled son. Now up until late, he's now 10 yrs of age, we haven't relied on any social service aid, but he's getting larger than grandparents can handle, so we have asked for help from the SS which we have been told is no problem given my lad has left side hemmi.

However as I have found most social workers are a "Social Worker". They seem to have more time on the sick than working days! We have been promised "so called restbite in many guises" but as yet had **** all as each time we get close we have a new social worker, or the current one is absent with illness.... The one and only time we had some relief rest with a third party turned out to be nigh-on child abuse, so we informed SS..... Doubt I was taken serious....

I think you get my post by now, just a good old whinge at how terrible our NHS is, or more specifically the Social Services!

I have had nothing but disgust for these people since my lad was 7 weeks old! And I'm now suppose to be confident they are highly skilled!

Pross

iTrader: (3)

Weve gone though a few social workers with the teenage daughter, they were all useless.
Do what they have to and nothing more.
Then we got some young girl just starting out in the job and shes fantastic! She still does the job for the kids, not just to fill the hours.
I think once they have done the job for X years they dont give a **** anymore.

ZANY

Sorry to hear pal can be very frustrating you have to be strong minded
No they ain't all bad apples
I face there are some good ones
I've had a fair few social workers over the 13 years diffrent ages and gender and they've all done there best for both my disabled kids to be honest if it wasn't for them I'd still be paying hospital car parking charges as I'm always in and out and that's just one example
It has a lot to do with how you come across to them I think..

David Lock

What's your lad's name?


I am sure you will have been in touch with this group and probably others?


http://www.hemihelp.org.uk/hemiplegi..._is_hemiplegia


Have you applied for some help that is available especially if you are not a high earning couple, carer's allowance etc etc. There is usually someone on your council/local authority who can point you in the right direction. You may even have an MP that may have some strings to pull.


atb, David

Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

The ones we've had have been various ages, but none have succeeding in helping due to personal issues (like I need informing of that information)

Sorry to hear you have the unfortunates off disabled living bud, it is hard, and we are strong, but just need some relief from time to time.

Hi David, not sure how telling you my lads name will help? Yes we've, well mainly mother to child, has spoken to many parents in the same shoes and they are all at varying stages of getting help/no help. Yes we've spoken to various groups, but it all points towards going through the social services.

I'm the only full time worker due someone needs to give my lad the attention he needs 24/7 when he's not school. And as we moved house to something more suited for his needs (upwards converted bungalow) I pushed my budget beyond where I thought I would, so have worked hard to support over the years. We do receive DLA /Car, and I'm paying some 40% T if that helps.

Thanks everyone for your input.

Robert

ZANY

Not unfortunate my friend just a way of life we just get on with it

There's people right here that are much much worst off than both of us rob that don't get any help at all so chin up deep breath and have a lovely weekend pal

ZANY

P.s you have a Subaru what other relief do you need lol!

Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

Subaru is in the UK pal, I'm abroad until Monday with the said son. He's doing okay, but we should have brought a carer with us so we could all have had a break too. It's been a break from work, but certainly more tiring with his full on attention

David Lock

Hi David, not sure how telling you my lads name will help?


.............



Robert[/QUOTE]


Hi Rob, Nothing untoward intended and I apologise if I did the wrong thing. To me it just made the thread more friendly and personal rather than just saying "my boy" or "my girl"


david

Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

Ah no problem David, wasn't sure if you had connections to the SS.

Reuben is my lads name, Reuben-Christopher after my late father

Robert

ZANY

Have you heard of family fund rob ?

Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

To be honest pal I'm not in touch with what's available etc, we've had X 3 cars now on DLA (Renault Grand Scenic, Nissan QashQai, and now the Renault Kadjar), I believe his mother whom is the main carer gets the highest DLA which pretty much covers the cars, and then I think she gets carers allowance and the usual child allowance. Not sure about anything else although I know other families with a disabled child have claimed for expenses towards holidays etc, but I haven't a fecking clue (slightly lazy, yet busy with work I guess). I would expect a social worker to help with all that, but were 18 months down the road of asking for restbite and yet received next to **** all bar bad experience. The said bad Experience is close to our fellow Subaru mechanic we both use if that helps you who not use......

scoobypaul_temp

iTrader: (2)

My other half is an OT - she says have you had a referral to therapy services (OT/Physio/speech etc)? Check out the Scope website - lots of advice and info on there.

ZANY

Mate I totally understand your frustration me and the Mrs have not even been out for a movie let alone a holiday in the last 14 years and have been together for over 20 years and we still soldier on..
We asked for respite and got told to leave the kids in a residential type home over the weekend!! I told them to faaak off as my kids can't speak walk or defend them selves and both need 24 hr care it's nice t all in the hands of social services there's knobz above them aswell and they love playing pass the parcel so I note there names and positions when in conversation etc
After along battle over so many years I received 4hrs a week of respite with the help of my social worker with someone we could trust so me and the Mrs could have alittle time on our own

I don't know your whole situation mate but if you need a chat and a brew or want to link up anywhere I'm here for you
Sometimes it's easier talking to a stranger...

Rob Day

iTrader: (78)

Cheers Paul, Zany.

Reuben gets the regular check ups with regular hospital appointments for his development. Because He's left side hemmi he has a splint on his right leg to aid his walking, and a right hand splint for day, and one for night to help support and prevent his thumb from rolling in because he has no control of this arm from the shoulder down, even this is very limited.

To look at he's a bubbly little lad, but very demanding. Spends most of his time on his bum until someone gets him on his feet, but even then he's very inbalanced and relies on others for a lot. He has a very high pain threshold so self harming when frustrated isn't unusual, we learnt over years what triggers these so we can generally prevent most before they happen.

So far as family help goes we struggle now, and nobody takes my lad anywhere now which I think is a confidence thing for all concerned.

Cheers for the offer to chat Zany