Kids ay?
23 April 2014, 08:50 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
iTrader: (22)
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Doncaster, S. Yorks.
Posts: 21,415
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Kids ay?
So, just had to break into the house.
The story goes as follows...
We get home from Tesco after Isaac decided he was awake and we went for Nats godforsaken shampoo. I digress, we get to the front door, and like a bellend I give Isaac the ONLY front door key. I turn my head for one second and 'klump', he posted what he was holding through the letter box.
'****' I word to Nat, who then goes to see if we've left the back door unlocked by some slimmer chance than my hair growing back.
Nope.
So I remember I keep a back door key in the car...
Hallelujah!!!
I then collect said key looking the smug **** and march around the back in order to unlock the door to sweet victory.
Nope.
There's a key in the door on the inside. ****. Jiggery-pokey didn't work, that ****er on the inside was going nooowhere.
Right, plan B... there is no plan B.
Until...
.
.
.
Nat discovers the front bedroom window is open a little. Enough for me to get my paws in and open it enough to squeeze my cavernous 'physique' through? Gotta be worth a shot?!?
So this is where an old schoolmates hero of a husband comes in. What, a, ****ING, legend. He has a ladder, not just any ladder. Oh no, this bad boy reaches comfortably high enough to eradicate my requirement to partake in gymnastics in order to reach this little slither of hope. That hope that would enable me to NOT kick my own ****ing door in.
So I clear the bins out of the way, scramble up (I don't do heights but this was life or death), and proceed to creak open this un-lubricated, creaking old plastic window frame enough to squeeze my bald swede and belly pork filled gut through.
VICTORY IS MINE!!
I proudly announce this after walking downstairs to my rapturous applause, an applause that was short lived.
The key, where was the key? Why isn't it sat on the door mat awaiting my impending arrival?? Who cares, I'm in, the back door will do.
It did indeed suffice, right until I walked round the front of the house and Nat discovered a shiny object in one of the shopping bags...
.
.
.
.
.
Isaac had posted two stones through the letter box, NOT the front door key.
Kids ay?
The story goes as follows...
We get home from Tesco after Isaac decided he was awake and we went for Nats godforsaken shampoo. I digress, we get to the front door, and like a bellend I give Isaac the ONLY front door key. I turn my head for one second and 'klump', he posted what he was holding through the letter box.
'****' I word to Nat, who then goes to see if we've left the back door unlocked by some slimmer chance than my hair growing back.
Nope.
So I remember I keep a back door key in the car...
Hallelujah!!!
I then collect said key looking the smug **** and march around the back in order to unlock the door to sweet victory.
Nope.
There's a key in the door on the inside. ****. Jiggery-pokey didn't work, that ****er on the inside was going nooowhere.
Right, plan B... there is no plan B.
Until...
.
.
.
Nat discovers the front bedroom window is open a little. Enough for me to get my paws in and open it enough to squeeze my cavernous 'physique' through? Gotta be worth a shot?!?
So this is where an old schoolmates hero of a husband comes in. What, a, ****ING, legend. He has a ladder, not just any ladder. Oh no, this bad boy reaches comfortably high enough to eradicate my requirement to partake in gymnastics in order to reach this little slither of hope. That hope that would enable me to NOT kick my own ****ing door in.
So I clear the bins out of the way, scramble up (I don't do heights but this was life or death), and proceed to creak open this un-lubricated, creaking old plastic window frame enough to squeeze my bald swede and belly pork filled gut through.
VICTORY IS MINE!!
I proudly announce this after walking downstairs to my rapturous applause, an applause that was short lived.
The key, where was the key? Why isn't it sat on the door mat awaiting my impending arrival?? Who cares, I'm in, the back door will do.
It did indeed suffice, right until I walked round the front of the house and Nat discovered a shiny object in one of the shopping bags...
.
.
.
.
.
Isaac had posted two stones through the letter box, NOT the front door key.
Kids ay?
23 April 2014, 09:53 PM
#6
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
iTrader: (22)
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Doncaster, S. Yorks.
Posts: 21,415
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tell me about it!
The letter box has a cover on the inside for the very reason someone can't peer in and it's a bay window so angled wrong to look that way.
We usually have a spare front key in the car or Nats bag. Today was an exception due to tiredness dear boy. Cos I'm perfect you see.
We usually have a spare front key in the car or Nats bag. Today was an exception due to tiredness dear boy. Cos I'm perfect you see.
24 April 2014, 02:20 AM
#7
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: I'll check my gps
Posts: 2,626
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Who would of thought getting through a door could be so exciting just one of life's little gems. My life is so boring I can only manage to wonder. What a great story lol.
Trending Topics
24 April 2014, 08:53 AM
#9
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: 535D M-Sport Touring
Posts: 3,190
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My lad (3 tomorrow) went through a phase of getting either my wallet or mum's purse, getting the various credit / debit cards out and posting them through the letterbox out of the front door. Ok if you noticed him doing it, not so good if you open the front door hours later only then to notice the pile of cards on the door step. Lucky none ever went missing and he hasn't seen the need to do it lately.
Also convinced he can drive my car - "Daddy, need key", me - "don't think so sunshine".
Also convinced he can drive my car - "Daddy, need key", me - "don't think so sunshine".
24 April 2014, 10:36 AM
#11
We usually have a spare front key in the car or Nats bag. Today was an exception due to tiredness dear boy. Cos I'm perfect you see.
Have you learned nothing from my stories of Mark?
24 April 2014, 11:16 AM
#15
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
iTrader: (22)
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Doncaster, S. Yorks.
Posts: 21,415
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
24 April 2014, 10:45 PM
#17
Scooby Senior
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Slowly rebuilding the kit of bits into a car...
Posts: 14,333
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
So you didn't wave your £2000 phone and it's mega-pixel video camera through said letter box ?
That's how I got a neighbour into his house after he posted his key !
dunx
That's how I got a neighbour into his house after he posted his key !
dunx
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
andy97
Computer & Technology Related
12
16 September 2015 08:07 PM