They reckon we're ugly, have you seen Clarkson lately?
19 November 2002, 07:56 PM
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This was an article taken from Evo magazine. I've cancelled my subscription forthwith!
By Finistere Thrusp Industry correspondent
Hot on the heels of its emergency Impreza facelift Subaru has revealed plans for another hasty redesign, and this time it's Impreza owners that will be under the knife. 'We realised pretty quickly that the second generation Impreza's looks weren't going down well,' admitted Subaru spokesman Persistent Thrumm. 'So we swallowed our pride and revamped it. But now we've also noticed that the average Impreza owner is no oil painting. In fact, we've never seen such a rag tag bunch of nutters and freaks. If this lot get into the nice new 2003 Impreza they're going to ruin all our good work by making it look really messy.' The first part of the radical owner revamp scheme will include a series of factory approved makeovers and surgery aimed at reducing lumpen faces, pallid complexions and abysmally shapeless or alarmingly short hairstyles. More controversially, the second phase of the Japanese company's plan involves more comprehensive personality re-shaping. 'We're hoping that if this comes off we may be able to make the average Impreza WRX owner into a more rounded human being, and one that has a range of interests and conversation topics instead of just banging on and on about their bloody car on the internet the whole time.' This is not the first time a car company has tried to re-model its customers. A few years ago BMW unsuccessfully spent over £1 million on an extensive training programme to teach people who drove its cars where the bloody indicator stalk was.
By Finistere Thrusp Industry correspondent
Hot on the heels of its emergency Impreza facelift Subaru has revealed plans for another hasty redesign, and this time it's Impreza owners that will be under the knife. 'We realised pretty quickly that the second generation Impreza's looks weren't going down well,' admitted Subaru spokesman Persistent Thrumm. 'So we swallowed our pride and revamped it. But now we've also noticed that the average Impreza owner is no oil painting. In fact, we've never seen such a rag tag bunch of nutters and freaks. If this lot get into the nice new 2003 Impreza they're going to ruin all our good work by making it look really messy.' The first part of the radical owner revamp scheme will include a series of factory approved makeovers and surgery aimed at reducing lumpen faces, pallid complexions and abysmally shapeless or alarmingly short hairstyles. More controversially, the second phase of the Japanese company's plan involves more comprehensive personality re-shaping. 'We're hoping that if this comes off we may be able to make the average Impreza WRX owner into a more rounded human being, and one that has a range of interests and conversation topics instead of just banging on and on about their bloody car on the internet the whole time.' This is not the first time a car company has tried to re-model its customers. A few years ago BMW unsuccessfully spent over £1 million on an extensive training programme to teach people who drove its cars where the bloody indicator stalk was.
19 November 2002, 07:58 PM
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Did make me laugh when I read that!
A few years ago BMW unsuccessfully spent over £1 million on an extensive training programme to teach people who drove its cars where the bloody indicator stalk was
Chris
20 November 2002, 08:43 AM
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'We're hoping that if this comes off we may be able to make the average Impreza WRX owner into a more rounded human being, and one that has a range of interests and conversation topics instead of just banging on and on about their bloody car on the internet the whole time.'
20 November 2002, 11:34 AM
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I wouldn´t believe all you read...
Just as once long ago people believed the world was flat, just because someone said so, transcribes today into such stories.
Much you read is crap - dont believe it.
Just as once long ago people believed the world was flat, just because someone said so, transcribes today into such stories.
Much you read is crap - dont believe it.
I thought it was for real 
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