Dedication to my brother
11 February 2008, 10:20 PM
#1
Dedication to my brother
Got home from work today, and I found out that my brother Dave has died. He was only 30. His neighbours thought it was strange that they hadn't seen him for a few days so called the police. They broke in and found his body. The coroner is waiting for his dental records to come through and the body will be formally identified tomorrow.
AS some of you know, when it comes to parties, I rarely drink, the reason being is that my brother was an alcohlic, and seeing someone who's so close to you permanently pi$$ed turns you right off of drink. My real Dad was also an alcoholic, but he was very abusive both physically and mentally. When my daughter was born, I swore that I wouldn't be the father to her like mine was to me and Dave. Part of the reason Dave started drinking was because of the abuse.
When my brother was sober, he was the best brother anyone could ask for, he was very funny and the complete opposite of me - he was the life and soul of the party. If you needed help, he was there, you could always count on him to cheer you up. Though just don't ask him to fix your car. The first car he bought was a Mk2 escort, 1600 sport in red. We went for a cruise in it to Southend many moons ago, we done a few laps of the old circuit and he pulls over and says "go on Paul, have a go" which I did, done a lap when a blue XR3 came right up behind, so I though I'm gonna have him, I put my foot down, put it in second, left the XR3 standing then the gear stick came off in my hand, I hobbled it to the side of the road, and put it back in, after a few more laps, we decided to go home. Just as we got to the A13, the starter motor fell off!!
Dave asked me to change the carburettor in that car for a Webber DGAV 32/36, so there I was, the old crappy carb on the side of the car, petrol everywhere he decides to light up a ciggy and lean over to have a look. I said "Dave, what the funk are you doing?" and he innocently replies "What?" then he twigs, I've never seen a ciggy go out so quickly before!
Another time, he bought a black Mk1 Astra GTE, and decided to fit a new stereo himself. After him having a drink (pre alco days) he asks me to give him a lift to Tilbury, take my car he says, so I did. We;ll need to fill up first, ok I says so pulls into a petorl station in Stanford, just as I turn the ignition off, a smoke started bellowing out from the dash board, "****, I says, panicking like a nutter", quickly driving out of the petrol station and into the car park behind the King's Head. turns out he only gone and used sellotape to insulate the bare wires, it came off and shorted out!
He was a right numpty when it came to cars, but I loved him and feel as though a part of my life has gone.
Rest in peace now Dave, your torment is now over
AS some of you know, when it comes to parties, I rarely drink, the reason being is that my brother was an alcohlic, and seeing someone who's so close to you permanently pi$$ed turns you right off of drink. My real Dad was also an alcoholic, but he was very abusive both physically and mentally. When my daughter was born, I swore that I wouldn't be the father to her like mine was to me and Dave. Part of the reason Dave started drinking was because of the abuse.
When my brother was sober, he was the best brother anyone could ask for, he was very funny and the complete opposite of me - he was the life and soul of the party. If you needed help, he was there, you could always count on him to cheer you up. Though just don't ask him to fix your car. The first car he bought was a Mk2 escort, 1600 sport in red. We went for a cruise in it to Southend many moons ago, we done a few laps of the old circuit and he pulls over and says "go on Paul, have a go" which I did, done a lap when a blue XR3 came right up behind, so I though I'm gonna have him, I put my foot down, put it in second, left the XR3 standing then the gear stick came off in my hand, I hobbled it to the side of the road, and put it back in, after a few more laps, we decided to go home. Just as we got to the A13, the starter motor fell off!!
Dave asked me to change the carburettor in that car for a Webber DGAV 32/36, so there I was, the old crappy carb on the side of the car, petrol everywhere he decides to light up a ciggy and lean over to have a look. I said "Dave, what the funk are you doing?" and he innocently replies "What?" then he twigs, I've never seen a ciggy go out so quickly before!
Another time, he bought a black Mk1 Astra GTE, and decided to fit a new stereo himself. After him having a drink (pre alco days) he asks me to give him a lift to Tilbury, take my car he says, so I did. We;ll need to fill up first, ok I says so pulls into a petorl station in Stanford, just as I turn the ignition off, a smoke started bellowing out from the dash board, "****, I says, panicking like a nutter", quickly driving out of the petrol station and into the car park behind the King's Head. turns out he only gone and used sellotape to insulate the bare wires, it came off and shorted out!
He was a right numpty when it came to cars, but I loved him and feel as though a part of my life has gone.
Rest in peace now Dave, your torment is now over
11 February 2008, 10:29 PM
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I am truely truely sorry for your loss - and totally understand how you feel.
My brother died last April - just 10 days after I had my son and like your Brother, mine too was an alcoholic.
But for his problems, he was generous to a fault and I loved him with all my heart and there is not a day that goes by where I don't love him, remember him and talk to him - and it is those actions that keep him with me and keep those precious memories safe.
Best and warmest wishes to you and your family in this dark dark time
xx
My brother died last April - just 10 days after I had my son and like your Brother, mine too was an alcoholic.
But for his problems, he was generous to a fault and I loved him with all my heart and there is not a day that goes by where I don't love him, remember him and talk to him - and it is those actions that keep him with me and keep those precious memories safe.
Best and warmest wishes to you and your family in this dark dark time
xx
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12 February 2008, 07:35 AM
#14
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Paul there will be some tough times over the next few weeks REMEMBER you have friends that WANT to help, listen or just be there for you
It can be a very lonely time if you don't accept help
I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE I ONLY GOT THROUGH MY TROUBLES WITH MY FRIENDS, funny enough in the 80's my favorite song was Friends by Shalamar listen to the words
It can be a very lonely time if you don't accept help
I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE I ONLY GOT THROUGH MY TROUBLES WITH MY FRIENDS, funny enough in the 80's my favorite song was Friends by Shalamar listen to the words
12 February 2008, 07:52 AM
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Paul,
I am very sorry to hear this mate, as above if you need anything just shout.
Only too aware of the heartache as I have recently lost a nan. So can understand what you are going through.
I am very sorry to hear this mate, as above if you need anything just shout.
Only too aware of the heartache as I have recently lost a nan. So can understand what you are going through.
12 February 2008, 08:26 AM
#18
Thank you for all of your wishes.
Was talking to a friend the other day and the subject came up about smart dress, being an engineer I never really had a reason to own a suit, but I decided tp buy one the other day, just didn't expect to be wearing it quite so soon!!
My Brother was a charactor, the times he was stopped by people thinking he was either Ronnie O'Sullivan or Robbie Williams was unreal
Was talking to a friend the other day and the subject came up about smart dress, being an engineer I never really had a reason to own a suit, but I decided tp buy one the other day, just didn't expect to be wearing it quite so soon!!
My Brother was a charactor, the times he was stopped by people thinking he was either Ronnie O'Sullivan or Robbie Williams was unreal
12 February 2008, 08:41 AM
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So sorry to hear this Paul, just remember even though we may not always see each other I think I can safely say that of you need a chat or anything we are all here for you.
Thinking of you
Mr & Mrs Spec C
x
Thinking of you
Mr & Mrs Spec C
x
12 February 2008, 08:49 AM
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12 February 2008, 09:22 AM
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Condolences Paul, not much else to add other than echoing the above. 
we always think of family as always being around, especially of the same generation, but alas there are some wrong cards being dealt.
chin up old boy and remember your brother for the good times and laughs you had, i'm sure there were many.
all the very best,
Dazza
we always think of family as always being around, especially of the same generation, but alas there are some wrong cards being dealt.
chin up old boy and remember your brother for the good times and laughs you had, i'm sure there were many.
all the very best,
Dazza
12 February 2008, 09:26 AM
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Paul I am so sorry to hear your bad news I cant even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you and your family.
I met your brother the once when you brought him on a posers cruise, he did seem a right charactor, full of smiles and so excited to be on the cruise with his brother, he was obviously very proud of you
I know eveyone here has said the same but you have my number if you need it. You have a lot of good friends in this club and any one of us would drop eveything to be their for you if needed, just as you would for us
As Phil said their will be some tough times to come, and if you find youself on your own remember that you don't have to be, just don't be to proud to ask
I cant even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you and your family.I met your brother the once when you brought him on a posers cruise, he did seem a right charactor, full of smiles and so excited to be on the cruise with his brother, he was obviously very proud of you
I know eveyone here has said the same but you have my number if you need it. You have a lot of good friends in this club and any one of us would drop eveything to be their for you if needed, just as you would for us
As Phil said their will be some tough times to come, and if you find youself on your own remember that you don't have to be, just don't be to proud to ask
12 February 2008, 09:55 AM
#26
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Paul,
I imagine that nothing I can say at the mo can help, but im always here for you mate.
Keep your chin up, you have so many friends who are about to chat/listen, (probably chat as you are a man of few words lol), dont forget we are all here for you!
Im so sorry for your loss, but as you say, he is at peace now.
Speak to ya soon
Take care
xxx
I imagine that nothing I can say at the mo can help, but im always here for you mate.
Keep your chin up, you have so many friends who are about to chat/listen, (probably chat as you are a man of few words lol), dont forget we are all here for you!
Im so sorry for your loss, but as you say, he is at peace now.
Speak to ya soon
Take care
xxx
12 February 2008, 11:06 AM
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Paul,
Condolences to you all fella. Thoughts are with you and your family at this very hard time.
As has been said you know where i am, if you need anything at all.
Take care.
Paul & Sarah.
Condolences to you all fella. Thoughts are with you and your family at this very hard time.
As has been said you know where i am, if you need anything at all.
Take care.
Paul & Sarah.
12 February 2008, 12:19 PM
#30
Thank you all, this is the worse part, waiting for the coroner.
I went into work today to try and sort a few things out with outstanding orders I've placed etc, but was told to go home.
Took my suit to the dry cleaners, bought a new shirt and tie to keep myself busy but I feel lost.
I went into work today to try and sort a few things out with outstanding orders I've placed etc, but was told to go home.
Took my suit to the dry cleaners, bought a new shirt and tie to keep myself busy but I feel lost.