cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Just to explain a few things about ME really, not just what you guys have seen of me but how i am as a person in general.

I am an extremly shy private and quiet person, who lacks in any kind of self confidence. Unfortunatly to those around me that dont know ME, this can be portrayed as miserable and unwilling to contribute to whats going on around me. A few things that i have been portrayed as recently have been boring, miserable, arogant just to name but a few.

I as a person am so much more of a listener than a talker, more of a watcher than a doer. (I hope you understand what i mean there). Being honest large groups of people that i am new to overwhelm me and i find these situations virtuallly imposible to deal with. But believe me i can see exactly what I must come accross as from the other side.

This thread is in no way having a dig at anybody within the ESC, i just felt that putting it down here would go someway to helping some of you to understand what type of person i am.

There have been several things going on in my private life recently, which most of you seem to know much more about than I would have shared which for me also makes things difficult, but what is done is done as they say. I was very close to pulling out of the weekend as there where certain issues which i was trying to deal with and Butlins was not the right time place or company to try and get these things ironed out, alas i changed my mind and thought i would gave it a go. I realised this Saturday morning and decided to leave, sorry for not saying goodbye, as i understand this must have looked extremely rude, but i just could not face explaining myself to people.

I joined the ESC/SIDC because i like cars, not for politics and gossip, enough of which i deal with at work and other avenues of my life. I understand that one way or another over the past few months i have managed to put up quite a few peoples backs, the reasons for which i am still at a loss, but hey. So if you are one of those people then please read this, try to understand and accept my apology!

It has been extremly hard to sit here and put all this down, but i have been as honest as i possibly can, and hope that any replies that anyone feels they should put will contain their honesty too. i am a big boy and can take critisism on the chin


Yours

Cookie

Phil

Mark

You have never come across arogant mate

Much has been debated on a certain other thread about "clickyness" but it must be hard at times for shy people to come along to meets etc, even though many of the crew go out of their way to welcome new guy's there can be times when we are all chatting and it does look daunting

Stick with it

DON'T TRY TO HARD

You don't need to go to every meet THEY AREN'T COMPULSORY I don't and I am the Chairman

Many of the crew still attend just one meeting a month they are not treated any less than those that attend everyone

So chill out and be yourself

See you at Snetterton

Phil

BTW

Private lives are better left of Public Boards

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Damn, cant be trying hard enough then

Cheers Phil

simon57

iTrader: (2)

Cookie my boy.

Your not shy at drinking beer and using the right foot.

(not to be done at the same time of corse)