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About Us website update - any feedback?

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Old 26 September 2007, 11:21 AM
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Rich @ PB
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Question About Us website update - any feedback?

Folks, I've started down a long road of web updates, and at key stages I'm going to be asking for feedback, good or bad, to give me a feel for how the site is progressing. The work will continue throughout the autumn months. Mars Bars will be sent to anyone spotting typo's and other mistakes, etc! The first update has been live for a week or so, and concerns the About Us page on the site. The idea behind the update was to make the site feel friendlier and to give a little bit more information about how we started and where we have gotten to, along with some thoughts from our customers. Any feedback welcomed!

Polished Bliss - About Us

Old 26 September 2007, 04:58 PM
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renny
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Nice introduction to you all.


Nice to be able to put faces to names !
Old 26 September 2007, 05:48 PM
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Superintendent Gene Hunt
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You seem, to like using, lots and lots of, comma's but most, are in the wrong place!

Fonts VERY small as well
Old 26 September 2007, 06:36 PM
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Brun
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Clark = Shane Ward????????????



Old 26 September 2007, 08:29 PM
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F1 CJE UK
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yep i would agree the Font is small, but it all reads well and looks good
Old 26 September 2007, 08:44 PM
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very good addition,gives it that 'personal' touch, but I still think you should have substituted your faces for some ones from an image library (joke)

right mars bars can be sent to ......


team only comprises three people
should have an 'of' in it

It is our wealth of hands on experience
should have apostrophes around the 'hands on' as it is highlighting a certain well known experience

Old 26 September 2007, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Superintendent Gene Hunt
You seem, to like using, lots and lots of, comma's but most, are in the wrong place!

Fonts VERY small as well
You're the second person to say that today! Please expand! I'll be the first to admit my formal education in the use of the English language was poor, and that over 7 years of further education at two universities I essentially taught myself to write properly. However, using comma's to break up sentences is correct is it not, in order to emphasise meaning, and to give the reader clues to pauses?
Old 26 September 2007, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
very good addition,gives it that 'personal' touch, but I still think you should have substituted your faces for some ones from an image library (joke)

right mars bars can be sent to ......


should have an 'of' in it

should have apostrophes around the 'hands on' as it is highlighting a certain well known experience

The cheek of it! I don't think you are correct about the use of 'comprises of', it is commonplace in popular science reading to leave out the 'of', and it also reads better this way! Hands on may be right, but I haven't used this style of highlighting anywhere else on the site, so I'm going to stick with consistency and leave it as it is. Cheers for the thoughts though, much appreciated.

Old 26 September 2007, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Polished Bliss
The cheek of it! I don't think you are correct about the use of 'comprises of', it is commonplace in popular science reading to leave out the 'of', and it also reads better this way! Hands on may be right, but I haven't used this style of highlighting anywhere else on the site, so I'm going to stick with consistency and leave it as it is. Cheers for the thoughts though, much appreciated.

The cheek of it sending me a digital pic of a mars bars...since you lot are scottish I expect it done in batter and sent immediately
or you can just add it to the small fortune I have spent over the last 6 months
Old 26 September 2007, 09:56 PM
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Lol, got to fight fire with fire, bloody image library! I think I may send you a battered Mars Bar now, just for the hell of it. PM me your address and wait with baited breath...
Old 27 September 2007, 07:03 PM
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Chief Constable Gene Hunt
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Originally Posted by Polished Bliss
You're the second person to say that today! Please expand! I'll be the first to admit my formal education in the use of the English language was poor, and that over 7 years of further education at two universities I essentially taught myself to write properly. However, using comma's to break up sentences is correct is it not, in order to emphasise meaning, and to give the reader clues to pauses?
The comma should appear at the natural break rather than a forced one...

i.e.

This year, we are on track to dispatch over 3500 web placed orders and detail over 100 prestige and performance vehicles.

reads:

This year (pause) we are on track to dispatch over 3500 web placed orders and detail over 100 prestige and performance vehicles.

where it should read:

This year we are on track to dispatch over 3500 web placed orders and detail over 100 prestige and performance vehicles.

Old 27 September 2007, 08:44 PM
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Merci beaucoup! Edits to be made soon...
Old 27 September 2007, 11:23 PM
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You could move the link to your portfolio to the front page, at the moment its easier to see the show and shine winners than your own work.
Old 28 September 2007, 09:34 AM
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Aye, home page is shortly going to be revised to feature the latest two cars done by us, on a rolling basis, so this issue will be addresed. Also, a search function will be added to search by brand, plus details of any special offers will also be given a place.
Old 29 September 2007, 04:55 AM
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Default Changes made!

Okay folks, that's a lot the suggested edits (above and by pm/e-mail) now made, if you click the link below and then press CTRL+F5 your browser should refresh and show you the amended version...

Polished Bliss - About Us

Many, many thanks for all of your help folks; I'm very grateful, and over the coming weeks and months I will seek your advice again, as it undoubtedly improves the quality of the site.
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