..... know someone with a 600-700bhp Evo/Skyline/Subaru/Cosworth?

After Friday/Saturday night out i used to stop off at a burger van outside my local club for a cup of tea, and every time i was there some drunk would stagger over and bore me with how his mate ''had the quickest car in the South''. (Apparently there are several twin turbo, 1000bhp Cosworths in Surrey)

Haven't stopped of there in years, but saw an old mate when driving past on Saturday, and stopped off for a chat. (was in the Impreza)

Suprise suprise..... out of the club rolls a Mr ''my mate's got on of these with 600bhp, does 7 second 1/4 miles''.

Is it just me that attracts the idiots, or is it a common thing?

 

PMFSL

This is so true...

 

It's the car that attracts idiots. If you were in a Nissan Primera for example,nobody would want to compare their mate's anything with it.

It's a small price we all have to pay for owning cheap fast cars

 

I have noticed this since owning an impreza. Most people like to try the 600bhp Evo bait, not sure if its to make them feel better or what but its annoying.

 

Always the same lol,good ol 'my mate stories'.

 

i once got told of " a mate" who was just about to fit a dump valve and gain an extra 60bhp

 

I live in a small town (2000) people so of course everybody knows everybody. They all seem to know somebody who owns a Saxo that would show my Impreza what real power is. Im yet to meet this Saxo

 

yeah but its always their 'mates' never their own car!!!

 

Do you notice how the 'mates' always race their cars aswell.... but nobody knows where

 

No, it's a common thing - they don't even have to be drunk!

Just before I got mine, I was telling one of the guys at work about it. One of the other blokes who works for our firm but I'd never met tried 'educating me' about Subarus and Evos (bear in mind I worked for Subaru for a couple years...)

He was trying to tell me that Subarus were all crap, and blew up all the time, hence the fact that there were loads at some breakers yard, and that Evo's were much better cars, less temperamental, with stronger engines and less hassle, fuel consumption, costs etc. I laughed at him, especially when he started on about his mate having a 440bhp Evo and how it could do 160 or something and subarus were crap top end.

I quoted the old Subaru line: "97% of all Subarus registered 15 years ago are still on the road today" (that's true that but he was having none of it.

I argued with him how it's all about driving, not top end for long periods of time ( we all know what happens there) , and that if his mate had been pinning his evo at full whack, doing 160, for the distance he said, he would no doubt have had problems.

'Nah mate, he can have it bouncing off the limiter all day and it won't go wrong, it's what they are made for!'


He then tried to tell me that P1's were 2.2 overbored engines and were 40k new. RETARD!!! In the end I just walked away laughing and said he needed to learn to read so that he could find out what he was gibbering about!


Why is it that so many people who buy Imprezas think they are a real rally car and treat them as such?

We sold a 06 or 07 plate STi brand new to a 24 year old, who spent 8k on it, getting full rally graphics, different alloys, PPP etc. At the 500 mile service he had bent the rear ARB's and snapped an engine mount. Over the course of 18 months he went through 3 turbos and 2 engines along with a massive list of other stupid things. All under warranty!!!!! (The car had £28k of warranty work in 18 months - more than the original price of the standard car!) He even had the cheek to make massive complaints to Subaru (I.M uk) when they refused to pay any more warranty claims!

 

Skyline gtr is the worst car I've had for this, the look of horror one their faces when you reveal it's only 380bhp! Shortly followed by "you should chip it, my mates got one that's been chipped and it's 700bhp" and the immortal "they're easy to get 1000bhp out of"

 

Its a Subaru common problem '' my mate got a red top nova and its faster than a scooby''
i've heard a few times...

 

So true!!!

 

Or you could play their game and pretend you know Andy Forest, so your "mate" has a 900BHP scoob that has/had (?) the world record for top speed in a scooby and shortest standing quarter.

 

There is a simple remedy to this problem























Stop hanging around idiots..........

 

Its all about my dicks bigger than yours.

But when drink is involved they get confused and start bigging up their mates dick instead of their own!

 

Great thread.

Oil runs thick in my veins, I've had a few Impreza's are crap comments but my Dad has a 1934 Aston that was his first car, £120 in the 60s. The day after my wedding 200M from the hotel the gear selector jumped out due to his modification. A crowd gathered 'to help' and I had a comment to me:

Aston's are rubbish, a Kia is what you need. Tongue in cheek obviously but poor taste given the timing, how many Kias will make it to 75yrs old.

As for my trusty old (13yrs) cheep Scoob, 150000 miles on original engine & drive train, a few mods and 150mph - **** car obviously.

 

 

Mmmmmm, rings some bells. Apperently there is 900 brake Evo right here in Skeg Vegas. I've lived here for 25 years, and guess what...

And guess what again, yeah it's his mates, you wouldn't adam and eve it would you.

Fecking gob sh1tes that have never owned a decent motor in their life but some how seem to know every bastrd thing about my Scoob.

 

So true.
I used to get this when I'd get petrol and if there was a young,male cashier I would get the 'my has an RS Turbo or Nova etc,etc and it kills Scoobys,Evos ,Ferraris etc, etc' even offered a few to wait for their mate to pick them up or met up up to go for a blast.

Funny thing is they never took me up on the offer

 

Not just you losing your bottle then.

 

You often find the one's with all the chops back down when asked to prove it

 

A friend of our our oldest son came round once and as the scoob was on the drive he made the comment, nice car mate, my dad had one of these but was too slow so he bought a renult megane (1997 model no less) it has two 600 bhp engines in it from a civic type r and it one of the quickest cars ever.

I kept a straight face and just asked if his dad would be along shortly as I would like to take a look, his dad was picking him up so I waited, along came a battered red megane with 14 inch steels and some impressive wheel trims and the unmistakeable tick of a crap engine, the lad still maintains to this day that the above was true, crazy.

Think he may have issues as his next comment was, my dad bought me the new scooby hatch for my birthday and it's parked next to my type r civic.
Hold on mate, you live in the worst part of the village and your parents don't work and your 15, why?

 

As I used to be in the forces you meet all sorts of idiots along the way, one such idiot told me, my then Sierra cossie was a waste of money as he knows where the screw is on any car to alter the bhp to whatever he wanted, was rolling around for hours as he was talking about the mixture screw on a carburettor, he was dead serious and actually believed the ****e he spoke.

 

.


funny as ****,thing is they belive their own bullsh*t !!!!

 

 

So true

It's not limited to cars either.
I was at a wedding and some fat chav was spouting on about how he'd been on a 90mph jetski at Bristol's west country water park that morning.

I tried to enlighten him that (at the time) the world speed record on a jetski was only 87mph, and that was in the States on a fully modded, triple piped Yammy GP13R..and over a 2 mile length of water... (the impeller pitch required to get to that speed meant the pickup was pretty slow..so you needed that distance to get to 80mph+)
West country water park is around 400m long at most..

Well he still would not accept it... his mate told him it was a 90mph jetski so it was gospel..

total **** I moved on before I enlightened him of that fact too

 

It is amazing though how many owners of massively modded, 600 bhp + monster cars all have mates who are fxxkwits who always talk about them for them....

 

The fella who works at our local shell keeps telling me is BMW does 6 miles to the gallon and is stupidly fast .. and I keep smiling and trying not to make eye contact.

 

Hahah, this is the funniest thread ever. Ive encountered both the car and the jetski blagging before its hillarious.

I always especially enjoy it when they start telling me about the latest RS ford in development etc etc. .........


ohhh really?


Fascinating!! D