I'm off for a swift one then.........



[Edited by Badger Stuffer - 7/17/2003 9:49:32 AM]

 

I always knew that

 

Are you guys w@nkers?

 

Nah - we are supporters of cancer *relief*...

 

Jase

You proposed new career should be good then

Only kidding mucker, hows the house comming on mate ?.
Sean

 

Katana - there's a big difference between "w@nking" and "being a w@nker".

 

Seean......you hatstand.....

Good news on the house....at last.

Exchanging contracts today and completeing and getting the keys next friday.

So sometime in the not too distant future you may have to drag yourself and the wife all the way down here fo a housewarming. (Bring your own sheep)

 

the mind boggles!

 

Justification at last !

Theres no downsides, no aggro, no pleading, no guilt, its free and its even now healthy, proof there is a god

Stand up and be counted lads, and proud to say your a ****** (I mean masturbating not driving a 3 series BMW, TT or any 4*4 by the way)

its a pity Women cannot enjoy a good ****, I mean have you ever met a woman that said she does therefore I summise they cant, must be difficult being as there arms dont reach down there and their hands are the wrong way round and everything, hmm, tough one that isnt it girls, your all either *******, liars or missing out,

which is it to be ?

Cues deathly silence..........

Go on I dare ya

 

J4CKO:

I think you have been seeing the wrong kind of woman...

Steve.

 

...and it's sex with someone you love

 

No just my explanation as to why a large percentage of female kind will not admit to a quick one !

A freind of ours always makes veiled references to me and my habits but I have never queried hers, another freind after a glass of wine said that since her husband had been away a couple of weeks she had got through loads of batteries and her middle finger was a bit sore, nearly lost the plot I did !

 

Do these quotes mean anything to you blokes with ladies in tow ?

'Stop wobbling the bed'
'Not again'
'What about me'
'Whys your t-shirt stuck to the carpet'
'I caught you'
'Good one was it'
'No, I have had a shower'
'Not in my eye, it hurts'
'How many times is that then'

 

5 times a week in the 20's!!!???? I did it 5 times a NIGHT at 20 - and that was just in my sleep!!!

Pete

 

how thick are your glasses ???

 

I can read the bold type - what does the rest say!!

Pete

 

From The Viz Sexist Book of Records;

Stiffest Sock

A Marks and Spencer's wool/nylon mix Argyle sock found under the bed of Nicholas Wilson of Largs, lanarkshire (GB) exhibihited a tensile strength of 6.3 gigspascals 9.17x10(5)lb/in and a Knoop hardness value of 8412. Scientists at Edinburgh University estimated that Wilson's sock, slightly harder than a diamond has been masturbated into more than 11,000 times since its last wash.