Also, remember women love surprises.

Next time you see her walk up to her casually, and to let her know that she is now yours, perform the Spiderman. (thank you urban dictionary)


6.

Spiderman

44 up, 28 down

When a guy spooges on his hand and flings it in someone's face, in a Spiderman kind of way.

Guy:So I hear you went out with Roger last night, how did it go?

Girl: *bursts into tears*

Guy:What is it.. did he spiderman you? I heard that's his trademark.

 

^ naughty roger!

 

write her a poem: roses are red, violets are blue, ive got a knife, get in the back of the f**king van.

 

the worrying thing is this advice is no worse than what he going to do in the first place,

 

any of the replies hes had are better than "im going to ask her to be my girlfriend". he would be as well saying " would you like to punch me in the face really hard 10 times"

 

im a liitle upset nobody has ever asked me to be there boyfriend.
although a few weeks ago a lady on a night out did call me a fat ****£r!

 

it isnt all its cracked up to be m8. especially if its a bloke thats asking.

 

not even that, oh the shame!

 

she clearly liked you! you missed a chance there!

 

you know i thought that, i tried playing with my hair and glancing at her, maybe she was playing hard to get??

 

no im guessing the fact that whilst it probably felt real nice for you, twirling your fingers through your pubic hair whilst trying to look coy an seductive just didnt work for you lol.

 

now you mention it, it never works.

what do you think im doing wrong? maybe licking my lips isnt helping??

 

i usually drop my trousers to reveal my y fronts which have a picture of a worm on the front with the words " girl bait" above it. it never seems to work either?

 

perhaps the op is on to something, im going to wander up to girls in the street and ask them "will you be my girlfriend?"

what the worst that could happen?

 

If she turns you down on the date request, follow up with "So I suppose a f*ck's out of the question" You never know

 

a roundhouse kick from her irate kickboxing boyfriend?

 

im learning so much today, be gone virginity!!!

 

on the plus side if your a virgin youve got something to offer that us healthy, sexually active, virile types dont.

 

enthusiasm,and my own room at my mums with sky magic eye, im such a catch!

 

I must be a different breed, I'm happy to go to McDonalds (although it's usually two happy meals and a coffee these days) but given that it shouldn't be about where you go or what you do, but the fact you have been asked out, and hopefully it's by someone not resembling the elephant man!

I do agree that a first date + food = not winning. Most females will be too excited nervous to eat on a first date.

Good tips -

*Pick somewhere simple - a wine bar or nice pub, jukebox a good idea.
*Pick an appropriate time. Eg. 3.00pm on a Saturday, that way if you don't get on you can make your excuses about your mum always having your tea done at 5.00 and you're not allowed to be late.
Bonus, if she's ok tell her you are off out that night for a few drinks with mates, and if she's not busy it would be great if you could meet for a drink. If she likes you, she will be there. Unless otherwise engaged (with a non made up 'I'm busy' excuse)
*Dont dress too smart, it's Sat afternoon after all. Smart casual and a good pair of shoes is great. NB slip on trainers and 3/4 tracksuit bottoms will not pass for smart casual, neither will a clean pair of Nike air shocks, unless you are 18 not 22
*Be yourself. Unless of course you're a ****.

At the end of the day, just stay calm and have fun

 

sounds like it! only problem is judging by the pic in your sig it would need a bloody big net to land you! lol

 

ladies like big boned men, im cuddly

 

I was going to post something sensible, but I cant stop laughing! Funny thread

 

like your style bud " big boned" or as everyone else says " too many mcdonalds....

 

fuel tank for a love machine....

 

beat it over the head then sat on it more like lol

 

ill get a complex you know, im starting to think im too chubby to love..

 

Something went wrong there!

 

That bloke on the Undateables was into his poetry, it's uncanny

 

nobodys too chubby for loving bud so dont worry, the only prob is you need to find a skinny chick as another girl your size and you wouldnt get close enough to each other to get jiggy (plus skinny chicks wont nick the chips off your plate so its all good)