my mum died this morning
30 March 2011, 08:07 PM
#32
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Sorry to hear that mate.
The pain you're feeling is unbearable, you'll be all over the place for a while. Slowly it eases, it never goes completely, but it becomes bearable and your memories will remain and even strengthen. The first year is the hardest as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc feel empty. After a year it really does get easier.
My thoughts are with you.
The pain you're feeling is unbearable, you'll be all over the place for a while. Slowly it eases, it never goes completely, but it becomes bearable and your memories will remain and even strengthen. The first year is the hardest as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc feel empty. After a year it really does get easier.
My thoughts are with you.
30 March 2011, 08:46 PM
#36
really sorry to hear that mate, i know exactly how your feeling as i lost my dad in august after a six year battle with cancer, only just starting to come to terms with it.
Its a long lonely road and nothing anyone says or does will make it feel any better, don't hide from the pain,have a drink and toast her life and think of the good times, have a good cry i still do and it helps.
it's ok to be sad. dont let it turn to anger,and share your grief with friends and family but celebrate the life..
Its a long lonely road and nothing anyone says or does will make it feel any better, don't hide from the pain,have a drink and toast her life and think of the good times, have a good cry i still do and it helps.
it's ok to be sad. dont let it turn to anger,and share your grief with friends and family but celebrate the life..
30 March 2011, 08:56 PM
#37
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thanx for the kind words losing it big time her sisters are absolultley devastd to say the least big family my mum has twelve stepbrothers and six sisters but most died in the war youngest sister to go gonna have a large brandy now
30 March 2011, 09:12 PM
#39
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So sorry to hear this 
All I can say is just go with how you are feeling, cry, laugh, shout, go for a run or whatever helps you feel a bit better.
I feel your pain, if you want to talk about anything, or just vent, I am only a Pm away.
All I can say is just go with how you are feeling, cry, laugh, shout, go for a run or whatever helps you feel a bit better.
I feel your pain, if you want to talk about anything, or just vent, I am only a Pm away.
30 March 2011, 10:28 PM
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Hi Nick 
There are never enough words to say when you lose a loved one, especially to the big C and there are enough of us on here that have been through exactly what you are going through now (lost my father to cancer nearly 8 years ago now), and you never forget it or really get over it but friends and family do help alot, and you can learn alot from them about your mum but let them have their time and go to your friends for now, thats what is probably best and try to keep busy, it takes your mind off everything for now, just have those few minutes to yourself to let it all out (nothing wrong with it either ) but dont let it get on top of you, and the world may seem to have collapsed on you but it hasnt, just get through this bit and it does get better again
All the best for the future as that is what your mum would want for you
Tony
There are never enough words to say when you lose a loved one, especially to the big C
and there are enough of us on here that have been through exactly what you are going through now (lost my father to cancer nearly 8 years ago now), and you never forget it or really get over it but friends and family do help alot, and you can learn alot from them about your mum but let them have their time and go to your friends for now, thats what is probably best and try to keep busy, it takes your mind off everything for now, just have those few minutes to yourself to let it all out (nothing wrong with it either ) but dont let it get on top of you, and the world may seem to have collapsed on you but it hasnt, just get through this bit and it does get better again All the best for the future as that is what your mum would want for you
Tony
30 March 2011, 10:52 PM
#43
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You will do fella, get yourself a beer... sit back and let the shock and tidal-wave of raw emotion sweep straight through you, no point fighting it. It'll keep hurting and you'll keep falling apart for a while, just make sure you talk to your family and friends while its all going on, regardless of how numb you feel.
That is good advice
Sorry to hear that Nick,i dont know you,but i know how you are feeling,it will get easier pal,remember the good times,and what your mum would be wanting you to do now.
stu.
31 March 2011, 12:09 AM
#45
So sorry for your loss.
I can't offer any sound advice, other than don't be afraid/feel guilty to just feel what you feel. You naturally will alternate between emotions, and I think that is only natural. How your feelings are changing is exactly what I went through just finding out my Mam had cancer, it almost felt unreal.
Just let it out. Lean on those around you for support, and give that same support to family/friends around you if you can. Cry, be angry, laugh but just don't feel guilty for whatever you feel.
Take care and hugs to you and your family.
I can't offer any sound advice, other than don't be afraid/feel guilty to just feel what you feel. You naturally will alternate between emotions, and I think that is only natural. How your feelings are changing is exactly what I went through just finding out my Mam had cancer, it almost felt unreal.
Just let it out. Lean on those around you for support, and give that same support to family/friends around you if you can. Cry, be angry, laugh but just don't feel guilty for whatever you feel.
Take care and hugs to you and your family.
31 March 2011, 09:43 AM
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Nick,
Brain dump so not in any order - i am off to the hospital shortly but wanted to get this down first.
In the next few weeks there will be lots to organise, funeral/wake and advising all the people who need to know, friends, family, DWP (births deaths and marriages), bank, etc. Help your dad through this or even take it off his hands if you can. Remember that it can help to be busy (your dad?) to take his/your minds off of the tragic loss, if only for a short while.
People grieve in different ways, not everybody is the same and remember that, what you or others may find odd or strange can just be how some people deal with.
At time like this it is good to have family around you if you have it. As you say your dad lost his soulmate and will need looking after as i am sure you will, help each other and be there for each other as best you can.
All the best
Paul
Brain dump so not in any order - i am off to the hospital shortly but wanted to get this down first.
In the next few weeks there will be lots to organise, funeral/wake and advising all the people who need to know, friends, family, DWP (births deaths and marriages), bank, etc. Help your dad through this or even take it off his hands if you can. Remember that it can help to be busy (your dad?) to take his/your minds off of the tragic loss, if only for a short while.
People grieve in different ways, not everybody is the same and remember that, what you or others may find odd or strange can just be how some people deal with.
At time like this it is good to have family around you if you have it. As you say your dad lost his soulmate and will need looking after as i am sure you will, help each other and be there for each other as best you can.
All the best
Paul
31 March 2011, 12:16 PM
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Sorry to hear that mate.
The pain you're feeling is unbearable, you'll be all over the place for a while. Slowly it eases, it never goes completely, but it becomes bearable and your memories will remain and even strengthen. The first year is the hardest as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc feel empty. After a year it really does get easier.
My thoughts are with you.
The pain you're feeling is unbearable, you'll be all over the place for a while. Slowly it eases, it never goes completely, but it becomes bearable and your memories will remain and even strengthen. The first year is the hardest as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc feel empty. After a year it really does get easier.
My thoughts are with you.
God bless you and your family, may your much loved Mum rest in peace.
31 March 2011, 01:18 PM
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Condolences mate. There will be painful times ahead for you, but with a bit of help from your mates and family you WILL get through. Just remember: you are never alone!
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
All the best,
Paul
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
All the best,
Paul
31 March 2011, 10:31 PM
#57
Nick,
Brain dump so not in any order - i am off to the hospital shortly but wanted to get this down first.
In the next few weeks there will be lots to organise, funeral/wake and advising all the people who need to know, friends, family, DWP (births deaths and marriages), bank, etc. Help your dad through this or even take it off his hands if you can. Remember that it can help to be busy (your dad?) to take his/your minds off of the tragic loss, if only for a short while.
People grieve in different ways, not everybody is the same and remember that, what you or others may find odd or strange can just be how some people deal with.
At time like this it is good to have family around you if you have it. As you say your dad lost his soulmate and will need looking after as i am sure you will, help each other and be there for each other as best you can.
All the best
Paul
Brain dump so not in any order - i am off to the hospital shortly but wanted to get this down first.
In the next few weeks there will be lots to organise, funeral/wake and advising all the people who need to know, friends, family, DWP (births deaths and marriages), bank, etc. Help your dad through this or even take it off his hands if you can. Remember that it can help to be busy (your dad?) to take his/your minds off of the tragic loss, if only for a short while.
People grieve in different ways, not everybody is the same and remember that, what you or others may find odd or strange can just be how some people deal with.
At time like this it is good to have family around you if you have it. As you say your dad lost his soulmate and will need looking after as i am sure you will, help each other and be there for each other as best you can.
All the best
Paul
I am really sorry to hear about this mate, I cannot say it any better than Paul just did so hence the quote. Be strong mate and my condolences to you and your family
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