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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 10:32 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by ALi-B

Currently I'm having a Talk Talk renaissance

Nothing wrong with Talk Talk TBH, one of my favourite bands from the 80's as well, still listen to them from time to time.
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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 10:43 PM
  #32  
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Originally Posted by EddScott
rather than risk getting pee on the carpet
Urgh ! Carpet in toilets
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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 10:46 PM
  #33  
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what's wrong with carpet in the bog?
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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 10:47 PM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by corradoboy
Urgh ! Carpet in toilets
Or one of those towelling floor bathroom sets..

.. more commonly known as **** catchers
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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 11:03 PM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by bioforger
what's wrong with carpet in the bog?
Given the male tendency for inaccuracy, it's not exactly hygienic. Just slate tiles in ours, and I tend to sit mostly as I find it daft to p!$$ on my own floor when I have to clean it myself anyway.

Not exactly stylish either....

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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 11:19 PM
  #36  
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Speeding.....
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Old Jun 26, 2010 | 11:27 PM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by ALi-B
I get caught listening to **** Chung one too many times to be comfortable with
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody **** Chung tonight

I only remember that one song. Are you saying they made an album?


I got caught lying on a CV when I was 23. My interviewer stated one of my previous employers didn't remember me. I assured him he was wrong so he said "lets call him shall we?"

Luckily for me my "previous employer" was at lunch.
I made an excuse and left quickly.
I didn't get the job.
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Old Jun 27, 2010 | 12:08 AM
  #38  
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Ok, here goes

When this 'friend of mine ( lets call him 'F' for friend ) was in his very early 20's, his father re-married in a low key ceremony and the newly weds invited F out for a meal the next night to celebrate and for a chance for F to get to know his newly acquired step family.

So....the step family consists of a geeky son who had to leave the meal early and the 22 yr old daughter (lets just call her nympho psycho stalker ****....'NPSS') who was was going to be living out at her mums newly bought, idyllic, country village marital home for the next few months until she married her longstanding fiancé.

So just after the meal the NPSS says she doesn't want to stay out for more drink and could F make sure she gets home ok. Both are quite merry on the way home through the village when NPSS asks F what his favourite colour is:

"White" says confused and in hindsight, a somewhat naive F.

Getting there, I promise.....,

Back at the house, F fixes them a drink as NPSS goes to change or whatever. She then comes back into living room wearing all White lace gear, sussies, white lace gloves, the whole shebang....

The obvious chain of events unfolds and F is doing NPSS from behind on the rug in front of the fire when the newly weds decide they wanted to come home early, stumble jovially into their living room to find their attempt at a new family 'at it' in front of the living room fire.

F tells me that family relations have remained strained to this day (even now that the newly weds are now in their late 70s)

Last edited by SiPie; Jun 27, 2010 at 12:15 AM.
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Old Jun 27, 2010 | 12:28 AM
  #39  
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^ fpmsl
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Old Jun 27, 2010 | 09:15 AM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by SiPie
Ok, here goes

When this 'friend of mine ( lets call him 'F' for friend ) was in his very early 20's, his father re-married in a low key ceremony and the newly weds invited F out for a meal the next night to celebrate and for a chance for F to get to know his newly acquired step family.

So....the step family consists of a geeky son who had to leave the meal early and the 22 yr old daughter (lets just call her nympho psycho stalker ****....'NPSS') who was was going to be living out at her mums newly bought, idyllic, country village marital home for the next few months until she married her longstanding fiancé.

So just after the meal the NPSS says she doesn't want to stay out for more drink and could F make sure she gets home ok. Both are quite merry on the way home through the village when NPSS asks F what his favourite colour is:

"White" says confused and in hindsight, a somewhat naive F.

Getting there, I promise.....,

Back at the house, F fixes them a drink as NPSS goes to change or whatever. She then comes back into living room wearing all White lace gear, sussies, white lace gloves, the whole shebang....

The obvious chain of events unfolds and F is doing NPSS from behind on the rug in front of the fire when the newly weds decide they wanted to come home early, stumble jovially into their living room to find their attempt at a new family 'at it' in front of the living room fire.

F tells me that family relations have remained strained to this day (even now that the newly weds are now in their late 70s)

That was like a riddle ..
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Old Jun 27, 2010 | 09:36 AM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by SiPie
Ok, here goes

When this 'friend of mine ( lets call him 'F' for friend ) was in his very early 20's, his father re-married in a low key ceremony and the newly weds invited F out for a meal the next night to celebrate and for a chance for F to get to know his newly acquired step family.

So....the step family consists of a geeky son who had to leave the meal early and the 22 yr old daughter (lets just call her nympho psycho stalker ****....'NPSS') who was was going to be living out at her mums newly bought, idyllic, country village marital home for the next few months until she married her longstanding fiancé.

So just after the meal the NPSS says she doesn't want to stay out for more drink and could F make sure she gets home ok. Both are quite merry on the way home through the village when NPSS asks F what his favourite colour is:

"White" says confused and in hindsight, a somewhat naive F.

Getting there, I promise.....,

Back at the house, F fixes them a drink as NPSS goes to change or whatever. She then comes back into living room wearing all White lace gear, sussies, white lace gloves, the whole shebang....

The obvious chain of events unfolds and F is doing NPSS from behind on the rug in front of the fire when the newly weds decide they wanted to come home early, stumble jovially into their living room to find their attempt at a new family 'at it' in front of the living room fire.

F tells me that family relations have remained strained to this day (even now that the newly weds are now in their late 70s)


Or to keep it short... You were caught doing your step sister
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Old Jun 27, 2010 | 06:09 PM
  #42  
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I spent three weeks working in Bristol, stayed at the Avon Gorge hotel in Clifton, with little to do in the evenings and fed up with hotel living, I used to regularly head into Bristol for a skinful of booze and to meet young women.

While heading home one evening I was desparate for a ****, I stopped into a doorway to take a pee, the door opened and there was a female uniformed police officer, who told me to stop what I was doing, zip up my trousers and step inside. I later learned this was a side exit from the station, guessing a fire exit. A stern lecture ensued about how much it cost to clean up this mess etc. I was given a verbal warning, and given a mop and bucket to go out and clean up the doorway.

I was stupid enough to try and chat up the young female officer, much to the amusement of her colleagues, she was very quick to put me down, insulting what she had just seen hanging out of my trousers.
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Old Jun 28, 2010 | 12:03 PM
  #43  
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I got caught wiping my tally wacker in my curtains after creaming one out
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