The 2009-2010 Liverpool Thread
24 November 2009, 10:15 PM
#274
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Fortune
i just said don't write them off that all.
However if we continue to defend set pieces like our feet are nailed to the same spot we will be in trouble.
25 November 2009, 10:24 AM
#275
25 November 2009, 03:01 PM
#277
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Of course it was a fluke, I mean they didn't beat anyone of note in the entire competition did they. See below.
The year is 2007 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup for the 5th time in 2005 ? are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in the group stages ?.."
SON "What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in their group?"
DAD "Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakos"
SON "Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dad"
DAD "Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their league".
SON "Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then".
DAD "yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky ? it took a mi**** shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get through".
SON "oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting "you beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!"
DAD "yes son it is"
SON "oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?"
DAD "Bayer Leverkusen"
SON "Bayer who?"
DAD "Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won their group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too."
SON "bloody hell dad, they sound good".
DAD "yes, I suppose you're right son"
SON "so did they win on away goals or something"
DAD "errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 each"
SON "oh ? well who next then dad"
DAD "Juventus"
SON "How the f#ck did they get past them Dad?"
DAD "Well they did ? they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw without Juve having hardly any chances".
SON "were Juve sh#t at that time ? had all their decent players gone or something?"
DAD "well actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few weeks later."
SON "wow, they beat the Italian champions elect ? which **** easy team did they get in the semi then?"
DAD "Chelsea"
SON "Chelsea ? for f#cks sake ? what a **** easy draw ? they've won nothing, Everton have won more than them".
DAD "well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Red ***** didn't let them score in 180 minutes of football"
SON "Jesus Christ ? so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect too"
DAD "yes son, they bloody well did".
SON "so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked out"
DAD "not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final"
SON "no way ? aren't they the 2nd most successful team in the competition's history".
DAD "yes son they are"
SON "so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out with injuries"
DAD "no ? they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam, Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorf".
SON "your 'avin a laff"
DAD "it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time".
SON "what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half ? how did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red ***** scored 3 goals in 6 minutes"
SON "against the best defence in Europe"
DAD "yes!!!, against the best defence in Europe"
SON "so what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko shot from a yard"
SON "why was it lucky dad ? did it hit him on the ****, nose, shoulder or something"
DAD "no son, his hand"
SON "well aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands"
DAD "yeah but that's besides the point"
SON "then what"
DAD "penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "not this f#ckin time they weren't ? they only missed one. And that's how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cup".
SON "but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many was there, 5,000 or so?"
DAD "1 million people lined the streets".
SON "so let's get this straight dad ? Liverpool had 3 good teams in their group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd most successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came out to welcome them home!!!!
The year is 2007 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup for the 5th time in 2005 ? are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in the group stages ?.."
SON "What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in their group?"
DAD "Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakos"
SON "Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dad"
DAD "Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their league".
SON "Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then".
DAD "yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky ? it took a mi**** shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get through".
SON "oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting "you beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!"
DAD "yes son it is"
SON "oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?"
DAD "Bayer Leverkusen"
SON "Bayer who?"
DAD "Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won their group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too."
SON "bloody hell dad, they sound good".
DAD "yes, I suppose you're right son"
SON "so did they win on away goals or something"
DAD "errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 each"
SON "oh ? well who next then dad"
DAD "Juventus"
SON "How the f#ck did they get past them Dad?"
DAD "Well they did ? they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw without Juve having hardly any chances".
SON "were Juve sh#t at that time ? had all their decent players gone or something?"
DAD "well actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few weeks later."
SON "wow, they beat the Italian champions elect ? which **** easy team did they get in the semi then?"
DAD "Chelsea"
SON "Chelsea ? for f#cks sake ? what a **** easy draw ? they've won nothing, Everton have won more than them".
DAD "well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Red ***** didn't let them score in 180 minutes of football"
SON "Jesus Christ ? so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect too"
DAD "yes son, they bloody well did".
SON "so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked out"
DAD "not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final"
SON "no way ? aren't they the 2nd most successful team in the competition's history".
DAD "yes son they are"
SON "so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out with injuries"
DAD "no ? they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam, Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorf".
SON "your 'avin a laff"
DAD "it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time".
SON "what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half ? how did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red ***** scored 3 goals in 6 minutes"
SON "against the best defence in Europe"
DAD "yes!!!, against the best defence in Europe"
SON "so what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko shot from a yard"
SON "why was it lucky dad ? did it hit him on the ****, nose, shoulder or something"
DAD "no son, his hand"
SON "well aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands"
DAD "yeah but that's besides the point"
SON "then what"
DAD "penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "not this f#ckin time they weren't ? they only missed one. And that's how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cup".
SON "but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many was there, 5,000 or so?"
DAD "1 million people lined the streets".
SON "so let's get this straight dad ? Liverpool had 3 good teams in their group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd most successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came out to welcome them home!!!!
25 November 2009, 11:17 PM
#281
Pontificating
Thread Starter
A slight flaw in that "joke" Juve were found guilty of match fixing and had the championship taken away from them and it was awarded to Inter, as was the 2005-2006 season 
Liverpool can't even get into the top 4 of divers currently
06 December 2009, 07:49 PM
#289
Scooby Regular
i have been reading the forum and i vote rafa to go as long as he's there liverpool wont win a corner let alone anything else plus when man utd buy torres its the fizzy pop league for liverpool and the only way they will be playin in europe next year is pre-season unless they get cardiff or swansea in the cup lol
06 December 2009, 07:51 PM
#290
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i have been reading the forum and i vote rafa to go as long as he's there liverpool wont win a corner let alone anything else plus when man utd buy torres its the fizzy pop league for liverpool and the only way they will be playin in europe next year is pre-season unless they get cardiff or swansea in the cup lol
Aaaaaaaaand breath...
06 December 2009, 09:49 PM
#291
Pontificating
Thread Starter
, there is nothing wrong with re educating some people with the facts
10 December 2009, 02:25 AM
#292
Pontificating
Thread Starter
Thank goodness for Debrecen otherwise the Europa Cup would have been a mere pipe dream.
Can't believe how massively LFC have failed so far this season.
Can't believe how massively LFC have failed so far this season.
Last edited by Funkii Munkii; 10 December 2009 at 07:25 AM. Reason: puntuation, spelling word missing :(
10 December 2009, 10:45 AM
#294
He will only go to a big club with money for him to spend - so he's far more likely to go to the likes of Man City if Sparky gets the heave ho at some point.
You need someone to buy out Hinge and Bracket, and those sort of people are thin on the ground these days.
You need someone to buy out Hinge and Bracket, and those sort of people are thin on the ground these days.
10 December 2009, 11:30 AM
#295
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RAFAEL Benitez last night said Liverpool have turned their 16th corner of the season and that this time everything was going to be grand.
As Liverpool went down to a final Champions League defeat by Fiorentina, Benitez said he was pleased with Alberto Aquilani's full debut and his ability to fit in to the team's style of play by running around looking confused and angry while achieving absolutely nothing.
The manager insisted: "We always start slowly in this competition, so being knocked out of it will really give us the motivation we need to go on and win it.
"We have turned many corners this season - some of the corners have led to more corners, while some of the corners have had little shops on them selling failure sandwiches.
"This latest corner seems to have led us into a dark alley that is filled with unstoppable zombies and their werewolf pals."
He added: "But I believe we have the quality to turn any corner that is thrown our way by the football-corner-throwing gods. Corners. Corrrrnerrrs. Thank you and good corners.?
Assistant manager Sammy Lee clarified Benitez's post-match comments, adding: "He has his lucid days and the kind of days where he buys Dossena. We're trying to work out a combination of medication that will stop him from mistaking Voronin for a footballer.
"In the meantime we just humour him by setting some training cones out on the pitch and telling him it's all the trophies he's won. It seems to calm him."
Club captain Steven Gerrard said: "The gaffer pointed out that if you turn a corner 16 times, you'll be facing the way you're meant to in the first place. To be honest, I just switch off these days and brush up on my Spanish. No, no reason."
As Liverpool went down to a final Champions League defeat by Fiorentina, Benitez said he was pleased with Alberto Aquilani's full debut and his ability to fit in to the team's style of play by running around looking confused and angry while achieving absolutely nothing.
The manager insisted: "We always start slowly in this competition, so being knocked out of it will really give us the motivation we need to go on and win it.
"We have turned many corners this season - some of the corners have led to more corners, while some of the corners have had little shops on them selling failure sandwiches.
"This latest corner seems to have led us into a dark alley that is filled with unstoppable zombies and their werewolf pals."
He added: "But I believe we have the quality to turn any corner that is thrown our way by the football-corner-throwing gods. Corners. Corrrrnerrrs. Thank you and good corners.?
Assistant manager Sammy Lee clarified Benitez's post-match comments, adding: "He has his lucid days and the kind of days where he buys Dossena. We're trying to work out a combination of medication that will stop him from mistaking Voronin for a footballer.
"In the meantime we just humour him by setting some training cones out on the pitch and telling him it's all the trophies he's won. It seems to calm him."
Club captain Steven Gerrard said: "The gaffer pointed out that if you turn a corner 16 times, you'll be facing the way you're meant to in the first place. To be honest, I just switch off these days and brush up on my Spanish. No, no reason."
10 December 2009, 09:23 PM
#300
Pontificating
Thread Starter
PMSL, this passage is hillarious and so well written 
Assistant manager Sammy Lee clarified Benitez's post-match comments, adding: "He has his lucid days and the kind of days where he buys Dossena. We're trying to work out a combination of medication that will stop him from mistaking Voronin for a footballer.
"In the meantime we just humour him by setting some training cones out on the pitch and telling him it's all the trophies he's won. It seems to calm him."
Club captain Steven Gerrard said: "The gaffer pointed out that if you turn a corner 16 times, you'll be facing the way you're meant to in the first place. To be honest, I just switch off these days and brush up on my Spanish. No, no reason."
Assistant manager Sammy Lee clarified Benitez's post-match comments, adding: "He has his lucid days and the kind of days where he buys Dossena. We're trying to work out a combination of medication that will stop him from mistaking Voronin for a footballer.
"In the meantime we just humour him by setting some training cones out on the pitch and telling him it's all the trophies he's won. It seems to calm him."
Club captain Steven Gerrard said: "The gaffer pointed out that if you turn a corner 16 times, you'll be facing the way you're meant to in the first place. To be honest, I just switch off these days and brush up on my Spanish. No, no reason."