Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
19 March 2008, 05:30 PM
#151
The full prognosis is basically, its terminal. The chemo has been offered as the ONLY form of treatment for her, on this lump anyway.
They want to do scans etc to see if there is development anywhere else too.
Due to the progression of the inital lump there is nothing that will "cure" it so to speak.
Everything is being rushed right now, so treatment starts asap.
Long term, there is no time on it at this point in time, although she is keen to get a gauge of what sort of time span she is talking. Still avoiding telling her sister about it right now, til she knows more.... keeps moving the goal post on this one.
Right now, im fine. Daft as it sounds, but for the last 2 years I have been preparing myself for her passing, after finding her almost dead, due to her COPD. So right now, with her in "good health" its actually easier to work with.
Lots of joking about, sick as it might sound, but running through the Ten things to do before you die. Her #1... rob a bank lol !!
So all in all, in good spirits. My role right now, keep her calm, keep her on track, and most of all, make sure I do the best I can for her.
Cheers once again for the openess Richie, its refreshing to hear first hand experience without over inflated opinions on here for once I can only hope we get the same sort of luck. I think the first time things will actually start to tick im my head is when a time gets mentioned. Guess it would do that to anyone.
Difficult for me right now, having not worked for over 3 months, then getting this news, it makes me not want to go back now, not til I know whats going on with her. If time is short, I wont return to be blunt about it. So while trying to keep a cool head about all my work issues, I have to try and focus on this too. Nightmare lol.
Hope this all makes sense without being too depressing
They want to do scans etc to see if there is development anywhere else too.
Due to the progression of the inital lump there is nothing that will "cure" it so to speak.
Everything is being rushed right now, so treatment starts asap.
Long term, there is no time on it at this point in time, although she is keen to get a gauge of what sort of time span she is talking. Still avoiding telling her sister about it right now, til she knows more.... keeps moving the goal post on this one.
Right now, im fine. Daft as it sounds, but for the last 2 years I have been preparing myself for her passing, after finding her almost dead, due to her COPD. So right now, with her in "good health" its actually easier to work with.
Lots of joking about, sick as it might sound, but running through the Ten things to do before you die. Her #1... rob a bank lol !!
So all in all, in good spirits. My role right now, keep her calm, keep her on track, and most of all, make sure I do the best I can for her.
Cheers once again for the openess Richie, its refreshing to hear first hand experience without over inflated opinions on here for once
I can only hope we get the same sort of luck. I think the first time things will actually start to tick im my head is when a time gets mentioned. Guess it would do that to anyone.Difficult for me right now, having not worked for over 3 months, then getting this news, it makes me not want to go back now, not til I know whats going on with her. If time is short, I wont return to be blunt about it. So while trying to keep a cool head about all my work issues, I have to try and focus on this too. Nightmare lol.
Hope this all makes sense without being too depressing
i hope you find comfort in everyones comments and experiences, some very humbling. i cried every time i wrote my 'blog'. somehow it felt like SN was a therapist/councilor and it felt good getting stuff off my chest. some of the very personal pm's had me in floods too, i could never have known how many snetters were dealing silently with cancer, yet everyday on here would act as if all was well......i couldnt do that, i wear my heart on my sleeve and have to say how it it, bit like you snazy. be strong and be yourself and you will get through this.
i am thinking of you and your mum, she is special
sara xx
19 March 2008, 09:32 PM
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Oh Snazy. Am so sorry. I did not realise. 
I have just been reading your blog, so informative and interesting. I did have a few tears but that's me, soft as muck.
Lets hope you and your Mum stay as positive as you are now, treatment is improving all the time, so you never know. Fingers crossed.
She sounds an amazing Woman.
Give her a big hug from me xx
I have just been reading your blog, so informative and interesting. I did have a few tears but that's me, soft as muck.
Lets hope you and your Mum stay as positive as you are now, treatment is improving all the time, so you never know. Fingers crossed.
She sounds an amazing Woman.
Give her a big hug from me xx
19 March 2008, 10:44 PM
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Oh Snazy. Am so sorry. I did not realise.
I have just been reading your blog, so informative and interesting. I did have a few tears but that's me, soft as muck.
Lets hope you and your Mum stay as positive as you are now, treatment is improving all the time, so you never know. Fingers crossed.
She sounds an amazing Woman.
Give her a big hug from me xx
I have just been reading your blog, so informative and interesting. I did have a few tears but that's me, soft as muck.
Lets hope you and your Mum stay as positive as you are now, treatment is improving all the time, so you never know. Fingers crossed.
She sounds an amazing Woman.
Give her a big hug from me xx
thank you, and cheers for reading the blog, its just thoughts from time to time. Got a lot to write tomorrow. Really must find time for the book too Mum is very positive, or light hearted should I say
26 March 2008, 09:47 PM
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Right, suppose an update is in order, thanks for the reminder lol.
Today we went back to Guys, a few blood tests, and she signed the release form for the drugs, which she can collect in the coming few days. So will begin the start of her chemo.
2 weeks on, 1 week off, then check up and repeat cycle.
She is still in really good spirits, but has had a few off days recently, where she is just really not interested in being sociable. On those days I just stay close but silent.
Good news however, on talking today, she has finally agreed that its time to visit her sister in Wales. So should be heading up there mid week next week, just a couple of days before I start my tattoo
Going to book a Travelodge, as she likes them, when we were evacuated last year she actually got all excited about staying in one, so would be rude not to. Bless
So as a whole, all good thank you. Good spirits, and on the right road, im pleased to say.
Following on from my initial "10 things to do before you die" question, she has now added another, so her count down so far is..
#10 Rob a bank
#9 get a ladder and turn as many of "those bloody cameras" around. (she means speed cameras lol)
There is a basic #8 but i forget what it is right now lol.
Today we went back to Guys, a few blood tests, and she signed the release form for the drugs, which she can collect in the coming few days. So will begin the start of her chemo.
2 weeks on, 1 week off, then check up and repeat cycle.
She is still in really good spirits, but has had a few off days recently, where she is just really not interested in being sociable. On those days I just stay close but silent.
Good news however, on talking today, she has finally agreed that its time to visit her sister in Wales. So should be heading up there mid week next week, just a couple of days before I start my tattoo
Going to book a Travelodge, as she likes them, when we were evacuated last year she actually got all excited about staying in one, so would be rude not to. Bless
So as a whole, all good thank you. Good spirits, and on the right road, im pleased to say.
Following on from my initial "10 things to do before you die" question, she has now added another, so her count down so far is..
#10 Rob a bank
#9 get a ladder and turn as many of "those bloody cameras" around. (she means speed cameras lol)
There is a basic #8 but i forget what it is right now lol.
26 March 2008, 10:09 PM
#156
It's so good to hear she is remaining in good spirits generally. As you say, all you can do when she is feeling low,is be close by and I'm sure she appreciates that. It's even better to know she is now going to see her sister, good on her, as I can only imagine this is going to be really difficult for her.
Not really sure what elae to say, but I think she is blessed to have a son like you, being side by side to her through this. I am sure this has been such a help to her.
Not really sure what elae to say, but I think she is blessed to have a son like you, being side by side to her through this.
I am sure this has been such a help to her.
26 March 2008, 10:10 PM
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It's so good to hear she is remaining in good spirits generally. As you say, all you can do when she is feeling low,is be close by and I'm sure she appreciates that. It's even better to know she is now going to see her sister, good on her, as I can only imagine this is going to be really difficult for her.
Not really sure what elae to say, but I think she is blessed to have a son like you, being side by side to her through this. I am sure this has been such a help to her.
Not really sure what elae to say, but I think she is blessed to have a son like you, being side by side to her through this.
I am sure this has been such a help to her.Tis all good though, god bless being off long term sick eh!
26 March 2008, 10:33 PM
#158
Anyhow, you are special, in a good way LOL.
I wish I could've said the same about my brother, but that's a whole different story.
A big
to you for stepping up, and being there for her through all of this, in what is a horrible time for all of you.
26 March 2008, 10:40 PM
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Not that I'm particularly into fate and all that, but it has been turned out well that you've been on the sick, if you know what I mean.
Anyhow, you are special, in a good way LOL.
I wish I could've said the same about my brother, but that's a whole different story.
A big to you for stepping up, and being there for her through all of this, in what is a horrible time for all of you.
Anyhow, you are special, in a good way LOL.
I wish I could've said the same about my brother, but that's a whole different story.
A big
to you for stepping up, and being there for her through all of this, in what is a horrible time for all of you. cheers luvvie, a compliment dont hurt I guess. So thanks has worked out well indeed.
And I share your sentiment for your brother, with my sister! But hey, thats another story.
She text my mum at hospital to see if she would be home in time to collect her daughter. Hmmmm
Being there for her strangely comes naturally
26 March 2008, 10:47 PM
#160
cheers luvvie, a compliment dont hurt I guess. So thanks has worked out well indeed.
And I share your sentiment for your brother, with my sister! But hey, thats another story.
She text my mum at hospital to see if she would be home in time to collect her daughter. Hmmmm
Being there for her strangely comes naturally
Being there for my Mam, was without thought, as in your case, it just happened and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat, the same as your Mam, more than likely. Some people are just not that way I guess, although I'll never understand that.
26 March 2008, 10:50 PM
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Woo hoo, you took the compliment. It's deserved, so accept it easier in future lol.
Being there for my Mam, was without thought, as in your case, it just happened and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat, the same as your Mam, more than likely. Some people are just not that way I guess, although I'll never understand that.
Being there for my Mam, was without thought, as in your case, it just happened and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat, the same as your Mam, more than likely. Some people are just not that way I guess, although I'll never understand that.
But keep throwing them, they make me smile if nothing else Yeah I know what you mean, some people react in different ways, I guess sometimes its easier to deal with grief by ignoring the situation.
My sister is having trouble coping, so I tend to give her an easy time about it all.
26 March 2008, 10:58 PM
#162
lol thats the first and the last. Not gonna expect compliments for doing what I owe But keep throwing them, they make me smile if nothing else
Yeah I know what you mean, some people react in different ways, I guess sometimes its easier to deal with grief by ignoring the situation.
My sister is having trouble coping, so I tend to give her an easy time about it all.
But keep throwing them, they make me smile if nothing else Yeah I know what you mean, some people react in different ways, I guess sometimes its easier to deal with grief by ignoring the situation.
My sister is having trouble coping, so I tend to give her an easy time about it all.
As for the compliments, if I've even raised on smile on your face at the moment, well my work is done lol.
You're all going through alot at the moment, and I'm proud to know you are being a rock for her.
26 March 2008, 11:27 PM
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Hi Snazy just read this thread so sorry about your mother hope you have many more years with her after the treatment she seems to be in high spirits and it does seem worse for you being her closest relative. As have been said try to be positive and firm especially with helping her taking the treatment. BTW where in Wales will you be heading.
27 March 2008, 12:07 AM
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Hi Snazy just read this thread so sorry about your mother hope you have many more years with her after the treatment she seems to be in high spirits and it does seem worse for you being her closest relative. As have been said try to be positive and firm especially with helping her taking the treatment. BTW where in Wales will you be heading.
We are both in pretty good spirits to be fair. Just got so much on my plate right now its hard to stay on track.
27 March 2008, 12:11 AM
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Snazzy im so sorry to hear about this ive only just noticed it i dont really come on here much now. I hope your mum is ok and your coping ok. if its any help i know 3 people that have had breast cancer and all 3 of them are still alive now 2 of them being my auntys.
hope your all ok
take care love hugs and kisses
Steph xxxxx
hope your all ok
take care love hugs and kisses
Steph xxxxx
27 March 2008, 11:47 AM
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Thanks Steph
Its good to hear good survival rates, and see the figures on the research sites too. She stands a good chance of a healthy year or so if all goes well. But tests are at their early stages, and they are yet to do another round of tests and scans to see if there is anything else.
Once she has told her sister, the hard part so to speak, is over The caring part is what comes more naturally to me. The organising etc, and getting her to do things she does not want to, like chemo and see her sister, have been the battle.
In a little over 3 weeks time we should know what, if any, effect the drugs she has been allocated are and will have. Once that time passes, it will be more realistic to know what sort of time she has.
As a little twist of fate so to speak, im planning on the Wales trip about the 8th April, and my tattoo is due on the 10th if all goes to plan. So on the way home from Wales, im hoping to stop off in Leighton Buzzard and get the work started.... and hopefully, mum should be with me, which will be quite special for me
Its good to hear good survival rates, and see the figures on the research sites too. She stands a good chance of a healthy year or so if all goes well. But tests are at their early stages, and they are yet to do another round of tests and scans to see if there is anything else.
Once she has told her sister, the hard part so to speak, is over
The caring part is what comes more naturally to me. The organising etc, and getting her to do things she does not want to, like chemo and see her sister, have been the battle.In a little over 3 weeks time we should know what, if any, effect the drugs she has been allocated are and will have. Once that time passes, it will be more realistic to know what sort of time she has.
As a little twist of fate so to speak, im planning on the Wales trip about the 8th April, and my tattoo is due on the 10th if all goes to plan. So on the way home from Wales, im hoping to stop off in Leighton Buzzard and get the work started.... and hopefully, mum should be with me, which will be quite special for me
27 March 2008, 12:17 PM
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Snazy,
I was away for Easter so have only just seen the latest. I am so sorry to hear it is diagnosed as terminal. It has been known for people to get over it in the past so don't give up all hope. It is amazing what can happen.
I was put on Capecetabine too and although it makes you tired especially towards the finish of the treatment, it did not have the more bad side effects such as losing hair etc. It is a pretty effective treatment as well so hopefully it will do a lot of good in your mother's case. One of my friends is using that drug and it shrank his rectal cancer to almost nothing.
As was said above, she is very lucky to have you around to take care of her and I just want to pass my best wishes to you both.
Les
I was away for Easter so have only just seen the latest. I am so sorry to hear it is diagnosed as terminal. It has been known for people to get over it in the past so don't give up all hope. It is amazing what can happen.
I was put on Capecetabine too and although it makes you tired especially towards the finish of the treatment, it did not have the more bad side effects such as losing hair etc. It is a pretty effective treatment as well so hopefully it will do a lot of good in your mother's case. One of my friends is using that drug and it shrank his rectal cancer to almost nothing.
As was said above, she is very lucky to have you around to take care of her and I just want to pass my best wishes to you both.
Les
27 March 2008, 12:41 PM
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Snazy,
I was away for Easter so have only just seen the latest. I am so sorry to hear it is diagnosed as terminal. It has been known for people to get over it in the past so don't give up all hope. It is amazing what can happen.
I was put on Capecetabine too and although it makes you tired especially towards the finish of the treatment, it did not have the more bad side effects such as losing hair etc. It is a pretty effective treatment as well so hopefully it will do a lot of good in your mother's case. One of my friends is using that drug and it shrank his rectal cancer to almost nothing.
As was said above, she is very lucky to have you around to take care of her and I just want to pass my best wishes to you both.
Les
I was away for Easter so have only just seen the latest. I am so sorry to hear it is diagnosed as terminal. It has been known for people to get over it in the past so don't give up all hope. It is amazing what can happen.
I was put on Capecetabine too and although it makes you tired especially towards the finish of the treatment, it did not have the more bad side effects such as losing hair etc. It is a pretty effective treatment as well so hopefully it will do a lot of good in your mother's case. One of my friends is using that drug and it shrank his rectal cancer to almost nothing.
As was said above, she is very lucky to have you around to take care of her and I just want to pass my best wishes to you both.
Les
Fingers crossed it will have more good than bad effects
Thank you for your continued support
02 April 2008, 06:19 PM
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OK, back from the hospital again, and a rather large update for those interested.
Snazy's Space
Some information about the situation on there that might turn weaker stomaches, so read with caution please.
next visit 2 weeks time.
Snazy's Space
Some information about the situation on there that might turn weaker stomaches, so read with caution please.
next visit 2 weeks time.
02 April 2008, 10:15 PM
#171
Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear your Mam is going along with the treatment now the time has come for it. I truely hope it works out well for her, then who knows what will happen. Keep in good spirits as best you can.
Good to hear the trip to see her sister is still on. As difficult it may be for her, I'm sure speaking with her will be a relief for your Mam.
I guess staying positive at the moment is best all round, but at least with the treatment beginning, you all will have a little more clarity soon as to how much it will help, not knowing where you are all at can be the hardest part.
Enough of my babbling, but to sum up, fingers crossed for her, and again you know where I am if you ever want a chat.
Good to hear the trip to see her sister is still on. As difficult it may be for her, I'm sure speaking with her will be a relief for your Mam.
I guess staying positive at the moment is best all round, but at least with the treatment beginning, you all will have a little more clarity soon as to how much it will help, not knowing where you are all at can be the hardest part.
Enough of my babbling, but to sum up, fingers crossed for her, and again you know where I am if you ever want a chat.
02 April 2008, 10:26 PM
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Your linky doesn't seem to be working?
Hugs to you & Mum-Snazy, keep smiling ( i know it can be hard) but positivity helps
Hugs to you & Mum-Snazy, keep smiling ( i know it can be hard) but positivity helps
03 April 2008, 09:03 AM
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Cheers for reading everyone, (lots of people clicking I see)
She started her chemo tablets last night, took some more this morning, and seems to have stayed at work so far.
Fingers crossed if she manages to carry on as normal for a few days, going to Wales will be still on, no ill excuses. But then again im not going to mention side effects incase it brings them on lol.
I think I have been having the side effects for her recently. Massive stomach cramps, keeping me awake at night. Time to see a doctor me thinks.
Mum remains in good spirits, still cracking jokes etc, which is a good thing. I had a dream last night that was not the nicest of dreams about the whole situation. Dont want that one again for a while. But induced by being in the Day Care yesterday probably. Reality crashing home and all that.
Realised talking to a friend last night, just how much of a state im in right now. Not crying all over the place or panicking. Just got SO much going on its madness.
With still being off work, pay goes to 50% this month. Trying to keep my own health under control, and make like good for mum too. Lots of hospital trips at the mo, on my own and with mum, plus physio etc. And on top of all that, desperatly trying to work on the future, to make sure im available whenever she needs. Sadly that takes 2600 quid for what I need to do, and on limited income now, it aint gonna happen!
aaah well.Onwards and upwards, I have my health eh..... some of it anyway lol
03 April 2008, 11:53 AM
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Thanks for letting us know all that and in such detail Snazy. Its very good to see that your mum is being so positive with her sense of humour, that is a great deal of the secret of getting over this situation. If it remains terminal she could keep going for a great deal longer than they have said too, this has happened often enough.
I was taking the same dose of the Capecetabine tablets as she is. They did find bad cells in some lymph nodes. You feel like you need a wheel barrow to take all the tablets etc home! It is an effective chemo treatment so I am keeping my fingers crossed for her. The side effeects I had were not too bad, tiredness and loss of appetite towards the end of the course, lost a lot of weight-4 stones because of no appetite. Theres a clue for you!
Best wishes to you both as ever.
Les
I was taking the same dose of the Capecetabine tablets as she is. They did find bad cells in some lymph nodes. You feel like you need a wheel barrow to take all the tablets etc home! It is an effective chemo treatment so I am keeping my fingers crossed for her. The side effeects I had were not too bad, tiredness and loss of appetite towards the end of the course, lost a lot of weight-4 stones because of no appetite. Theres a clue for you!
Best wishes to you both as ever.
Les
03 April 2008, 01:00 PM
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Thanks for letting us know all that and in such detail Snazy. Its very good to see that your mum is being so positive with her sense of humour, that is a great deal of the secret of getting over this situation. If it remains terminal she could keep going for a great deal longer than they have said too, this has happened often enough.
I was taking the same dose of the Capecetabine tablets as she is. They did find bad cells in some lymph nodes. You feel like you need a wheel barrow to take all the tablets etc home! It is an effective chemo treatment so I am keeping my fingers crossed for her. The side effeects I had were not too bad, tiredness and loss of appetite towards the end of the course, lost a lot of weight-4 stones because of no appetite. Theres a clue for you!
Best wishes to you both as ever.
Les
I was taking the same dose of the Capecetabine tablets as she is. They did find bad cells in some lymph nodes. You feel like you need a wheel barrow to take all the tablets etc home! It is an effective chemo treatment so I am keeping my fingers crossed for her. The side effeects I had were not too bad, tiredness and loss of appetite towards the end of the course, lost a lot of weight-4 stones because of no appetite. Theres a clue for you!
Best wishes to you both as ever.
Les
Cheers for that info, that should put her mind at rest somewhat
Sadly she is being bloody awkward now.
Just picked her up from work, she got in the car and the first words out of her mouth were "god I feel ill"
As she had come out of work she looked ok, but the "blerrrrgh" face appeared as she saw me. Asking what was wrong she told me she has a cold! So has not started the tablets.
Vowing to call the hospital when she got home, to check to see if its safe to take them while she has a cold.... she has managed lots of coffee and lunch, but no tablets and no phone call!
Naughty woman!In the meantime im trying to keep my stress levels to a minimum. I have terrible stomach pains, got to try and see the doctor tomorrow. Doc I saw today has messed up my paperwork, got to go into work later on to have a meeting.....oh and kick mum up the bum to get this treatment started.
03 April 2008, 02:18 PM
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Grrrr stressed now !!
Just heard her on the phone to the hospital asking if she can start the meds while she is "ill"
On went the sicknote, croaky voice, and the supposed symptoms!
So they have told her not to start the chemo until it passes.
Just heard her on the phone to the hospital asking if she can start the meds while she is "ill"
On went the sicknote, croaky voice, and the supposed symptoms!
So they have told her not to start the chemo until it passes.
03 April 2008, 07:06 PM
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OK its official.... my mother has a sick sense of humour.
Which aint such a bad thing.
On speaking to her earlier she mentioned her Freedom Pass had been renewed, and this time it was for life.
Thinking it was a bit strange, I questioned her, asking if she was sure about its expiry.
She very confidently replied, "yes its valid for 2 years, I should be gone by then"
I really should not laugh, but I cant help it, her spirit seems so high
Which aint such a bad thing.
On speaking to her earlier she mentioned her Freedom Pass had been renewed, and this time it was for life.
Thinking it was a bit strange, I questioned her, asking if she was sure about its expiry.
She very confidently replied, "yes its valid for 2 years, I should be gone by then"
I really should not laugh, but I cant help it, her spirit seems so high
03 April 2008, 07:10 PM
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OK its official.... my mother has a sick sense of humour.
Which aint such a bad thing.
On speaking to her earlier she mentioned her Freedom Pass had been renewed, and this time it was for life.
Thinking it was a bit strange, I questioned her, asking if she was sure about its expiry.
She very confidently replied, "yes its valid for 2 years, I should be gone by then"
I really should not laugh, but I cant help it, her spirit seems so high
Which aint such a bad thing.
On speaking to her earlier she mentioned her Freedom Pass had been renewed, and this time it was for life.
Thinking it was a bit strange, I questioned her, asking if she was sure about its expiry.
She very confidently replied, "yes its valid for 2 years, I should be gone by then"
I really should not laugh, but I cant help it, her spirit seems so high
03 April 2008, 07:43 PM
#179
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lol love it
She is being a good girl now and has taken her pills
03 April 2008, 09:54 PM
#180
Glad to hear she has decided to take her mediction. I don't know, but she probably just got nervous about starting the treatment when it was actually there. Sort of can't blame her. Give her credit for the attempts of getting out of it though, she's strong willed, which I'm sure will end up helping her.