ronjeramy

iTrader: (1)

Yeah it is strange term Chip

Hola Mr Jamie

Jamie

Drop the Mr :0

hiya chap happy new year

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

I know it may seem mental, but if she is really unkeen, is there no way it can be done without? I had an op recently (thankfully not cancer related) and the surgeon insisted I'd have to be knocked out.. I refused and they found another way. It may be worth asking.

Snazy, I'm glad to hear how well your Mam is doing all things considered. I hope her positivity stays strong.

Nick, I wish all the best to your Mam too. Hope it goes well. Love to her.

To anyone else I may have missed, my thoughts and love are with you all.

Leslie

Sorry to hear about those problems.

As far as the operation is concerned, I have had three major ones in recent years. Believe me, it is by far the best way to just let them put you to sleep. When you wake up, it all done and dusted and you never feel a thing of course. There is nothing bad about the anaesthetic these days.

Les

Leslie

Snazy,

Glad to hear about your mum having a new lease on life and that she likes the look of the hospice. Hope they get her fitted up with a wig that she likes.

You need to take care of yourself too of course, you will realise that I am sure. Its a lot of hard graft for you and I hope that you will get full support from your workplace.

Les

Snazy

Cheers Les, just got back from the GP who has upped the meds and signed me off a little longer, I'm sure that will please work when they arrive in the next couple of hours time. Should be an interesting meeting. If I have to quit then so be it.

Mum is still chirpy today, dropped the carer in it with her manager by moaning all morning to her before realising she was the manager, then started to try and take it all back.
The carer is good really, just a few misunderstandings every now and then, nothing serious. But I just hope this doesn't result in them changing mums carer, as the whole process would have to start over again. Nooooo!

RJ I would sa the same as Lisa, I have had a few procedures done while awake (under local) now but I guess it depends where exactly it is and what is needed to be done. The couple I have had under general were just as simple, if not a little less distressing, given what was being done lol. General is fine for me as a rule. Good luck to her either way.

Will

Hey guys. Appologies for not getting back to you sooner. I was trying to not think about it much.

Well my Dad's op was delayd because of a chest infection, he was pissed off. But it went ahead on the 17 on January. It went brilliantly, he didn't have to get these pipes and bags for him to poo and **** in for months etc etc.

He came home after a week, he was a bit sore but glad that he was stiched up and everythong worked as normal, like Les did say in his post

He got a call last Friday with the results. He got the all clear, no radio or chemo needed. He feels so blessed and lucky and is over the moon, like we all are.

Thanks again for the kind words everyone, you're worth your weight in gold.

Just hope that everything is fine with you guys?? Any up date??

Again, sorry for the delay in updating.

Chip

Great news, glad to hear all went OK

Chip

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

That is fantastic news

I am so pleased for your Dad, you and the family xx

Not to go on a downer, but we are having a medical hiccup here with Mam at the moment. I don't feel able to go into details right now as my feelings about this are quite all over the place and we're not really sure where things stand right now.

All I will ask (how cheeky is that ) is that people will pray, or whatever suits, that things will turn out ok. It would be really appreciated.

Lee247

awwww, that's brilliant news.

My thoughts are with you Lisa, you know where I am if you need a chat xx

ScooByer Trade

Hi Snazy, how's your mum.Is she on the mend now ?.

Leslie

Really pleased to hear that he got away without having to have the bags etc. Means that like mine it must have been very localised and the surgeon needed only to remove the minimum amount of the colon. That is a good thing with regard to the prognosis.

I have just had my final scans, or what I hope are the final ones, and if that is ok then thay can sign me off from the annual checks I have been having for 5 years now. It was a right "cake and **** party" having to have eight scans altogether on my back and on my face with the colon filled with CO2 to expand it, I am sure you can imagine how it was injected!!!

The operatives were stars making it as easy as possible and all I need do is hope that the consultant can't find anything else now.

Best wishes to your dad.

Les

ronjeramy

iTrader: (1)

Glad to hear everything went ok with your Dad mr_impreza

Lisa hope your mams ok my thoughts are with you

Fingers crossed for you too Les

Mrs RJ has gone into hospital this morning to have her BCC growth removed from her ear, she'll be home later today all going to plan.

Chip

Hope everything went well for her.

Chip

ronjeramy

iTrader: (1)

Cheers Chip, yeah everything went really well, in at 7:30am out at 11:00am and straight home. No pain and she said the Hospital staff were excellent really looked after her and made her feel at ease. They are going to do tests on the growth they removed to check what it was but they're pretty sure it was a BCC so all should be good.

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

It's great to hear everything went well, and the hospital looked after her so well, especially as she was worried about being knocked out.

Fingers crossed now that the results are as they suspect and I'm sure once you both know for sure, it'll be a huge weight lifted. Another positive is as she has had it done now, she should be fine (and not swollen) for the wedding.

Les, fingers crossed for you too. Hopefully this will be the end of the annual checks.

And thoughts and love go to anyone else who my be quietly following this thread. xx

Also, thank you RJ and Lee. Hopefully everything will be fine, we're just a bit up in the air at the moment.

Snazy

Thought it was time to update a bit.
First up, hope everything is still going ok RJ, and for everyone else who is currently dealing with this.

For mum the past couple of weeks have been a bit much I think. She has gone from walking at speed around parks, to tired and frail, and getting bored of being stuck at home.
There have been a lot of appointments to attend, so getting her out and about has not been too easy. Spending a lot of the time in the wheelchair now (looks like we got that just in time).

Last couple of appointments have seen her very irritable and disinterested in what's going on. First the hearing appointment to get her hearing aid. Could not be bothered speaking to the girl doing the fitting so just accepted it as it was, then moaned at me when we got home, insisting the had not done what they said they were going to.
Then off to Guys for her review. Again didn't want to talk to the consultant, nor give her any info. She just wanted to ask how things would progress which of course no one can answer, then we left with mum insisting they were refusing to tell her things.

And finally yesterday we went to St Christopher's hospice for her palliative review with the nurse there. Again, she was not interested in talking, changing the subject, stonewalling any ideas put to her about counselling, group activities, complimentary therapies etc. The meeting ended early as mum was unwilling to talk much more and kept indicating she was done.
Her view is that any problems she is having are for her to deal with, and outside help is pointless.
Both the nurse and the GP have tried to address the obvious anxiety she is displaying. Can't settle and sleep, shaking, headaches, and feeling like she doesn't want to do anything. However, seeing it as weakness to take anything for it, she refuses to accept or admit to anyone other than me that she IS anxious.

Needless to say seeing her stressed and irritable is quite hard on me too.
A couple of things have made me sure of my decision not to go back to work yet, the big one being the other day. Walking into the kitchen I immediately could tell it was flooded with gas. She had boiled an egg 30 mins ago, and instead of turning the burner off, she had turned another ON and not lit it. Got all the doors and windows open and it took about 20 mins to vent the room. She however could not smell the gas, so refuses to admit how bad it was.

The carer situation, as per the other thread is hopefully resolved now. The upsetting part was today, with the new carer telling mum she will be here at 8 tomorrow morning, and mum tearing into her saying that's wrong and it's meant to be 7. The carer said she had it as 8 but would change if mum wanted, but mum said no 8 will do.
The problem is, 8 IS the right time, but she has become so confused by the timings of the last one she doesn't know what is right and wrong. I explained the confusion to the new carer, she was fine and understood.

So, its all a bit all over the p,ace at the moment. I have been called a liar about the hearing aid and appointments, called mad about the timing of the carer. And that's not forgetting being told I was talking rubbish about a recent blood test. Mum heard the word "thick" in reference to her blood, interpreted it as " too thick" abs has spent the last week insisting ti everyone that she was told she needed treatment as her blood was too thick.

Do you know what, until I have written the highlights here I didn't realise so much had happened, now I know why I am tired, I need a holiday lol.

In other news, in my plan to try and get back to work I have finally convinced my sister to commit to coming around to check up on mum every afternoon between 2 and 3.
This way when I go back to work mum will have a carer visit at 12, sister visit between 2 and 3, and I will be home by 6.30. So she is not alone for extended periods of time.
Oh and we have finally sorted out the attendance allowance she is entitled to which will help no end with her recent picky choice of foods, and covering the cost of them.

Ok I will shut up now, I have gone on long enough lol.

ronjeramy

iTrader: (1)

Thanks Lisa and Snazy, Mrs RJ is doing really well other than a cold lol. Typically when she has to go to get everything checked out and the results I'm working away which is frustrating.

Snazy sounds like you and your mum are having a tough time, though there are some positives I hope there will be more positives to come it's good that you've got your sister to help out as that will take some of the strain off you.

Snazy

Aaaah that's a bit pants, im sure she will let you know asap, and be ok on her own or with a friend.

Yeah all a bit of a muddle with us at the moment really. Mum acting strange and negative all of a sudden. Hard to tell if she is progressing or just fed up of it all. We spoke this evening, and as she prepared herself something to eat, she was also telling me how sick she was feeling. Wolfed the food down no problem. I'm getting the impression she is a little confused about symptoms she tries to explain.

As for my sister, let's wait and see. Everything is a bit of an effort most of the time, so I'm saving my celebration for a couple of weeks to see how her visits pan out.
Where there is a will there is a way eh.

Snazy

Today is not a good one, forgive me for being lazy, I just copied this from my blog...

"Following on from the past few days of negative behaviour from mum, I have to say no real improvement today. In fact if anything she is getting worse.
As some of the more frequent drug takers might know, the same drug from a different distributor can be a different colour. On this occasion it is an anti sickness tablet to help with excess acid, and indigestion.
This afternoon I asked how mum was and she said still feeling sick and poorly.
At lunch time while making my lunch I noticed all her meds for today were still there, so I asked if she was going to take them.
First off she said she was sick of taking tablets at all now, and was fed up of them all. Then she said she was not taking the yellow one. Insisting it had made her ill the day before and she didn't want to feel like that again.
I tried to explain to her that it was the same as the blue/white one, but was from another supplier. She still refused to take it. She grew angry about me challenging her, so instead I ended up having to open a different packet and give her a different coloured one. Which she took reluctantly.

So today, she feels weak, has a headache, says she feels sick but has had Bovril and 2 bowls of cornflakes, and some tea. So sick or not she is getting food and drink in her.

Problem is, with issues like this coming up more and more frequently, I have to ask the question. Is she genuinely tired and fed up of it all (understandably) or is she progressing to the early stages of confusion now.

With the recent behaviour I am starting to think more confusion than anything else. Blaming pills for making her ill, refusing to eat certain things, claiming people are not doing things they are meant to etc.

She complained earlier that the new carer had not made her bed for her. I asked mum if she had asked the carer to, and all I got back was a dirty look and the reply that she didn't notice in time. She did however comment earlier that the carer had nothing to do.

Time to talk to the GP again I think, appointment asap.
I feel my stress levels rising again."

To add to it, my sisters experiment of her daily visits... Day 3 today. Hour and a half late already (not here yet) as she has gone out.
Remember this is HER insistance that she can be here for up to a few hours EVERY day.

Snazy

For anyone bored enough to follow or read, the rest of the entries on the blog can be found at www.michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com

Snazy

Ok so today is "I give up" day, mum not me.
Since the other day with the change of colour of one of her meds she has become more and more determined to do things her way. Refusing to take the yellow pill now, so I have changed it with the few remaining ones of the other colour until I can see the GP about it, and now eating less and less.
Needless to say it is frustrating as hell to sit back and watch someone slowly starve themselves, as well as have such a low intake of fluids.

To me, another stay in hospital is on the cards, but if course she can refuse that too.

She said in short to my sister today that she is fed up of it all now and just wants to give up. Which is fine if that's what she really wants. But there is a right and wrong way to do it, and right now, it's the wrong way of doing it.

Tense times ahead I fear, but time will tell.

mart360

Hang in there mate, now is probably the time your needed most...


I,m not the hugging type ( for blokes anyway ) but you need a man hug mate... (if you know what i mean )




Mart

Snazy

I get ya Mart, cheers mate, I just need to take a deep breath and take my meds lol.

Just thought I would add this too, its what I just blogged, didn't realise how grrrr I was feeling .

"On top of all this, her interest towards her sleeping tablets is a worry too. Complaining that I won't let her keep the entire pack of 28 in her room. My reasoning to her for this is the kids. All she has to do is drop one, or the pack, and one of the little ones could be enticed by their pretty blue colour and down some.
Obviously I have a dual agenda, and my other concern is, with no one about, on a bad night she could decide to take more than she should. For obvious reasons I want to minimise this risk.

One way or the other I am going to have to speak to the GP and the hospice in the morning and try and get some advice and some hands on help with all this, as it is rapidly becoming more than I can deal with.

I can't imagine how it feels to be going down hill, knowing you are terminally ill, and at any time there may be a droip off point. But at the same time I can't imagine not trying everything possible to stay on to of my game too. Maybe its because I am not in that position, maybe we have different mindsets or something, but I can't figure it out.

There have been numerous "false alarms" along the way with her getting ill over something totally unrelated, and we go to the hospital, she stays in, gets hydrated and comes home much better. But this time the train of thought is on another route. Fighting help, refusing to discuss, and turning away almost anything offered to make life a little easier.

Needless to say, that just makes my life harder. I know, I know, poor me, but I'm not the one dying right. Nope, you are of course right. Instead I'm the one feeling ****ty about being off work for so long, wondering what is being said about me, on medication so I can think straight and life a "normal" life, and be there for my mum while she wastes away right under my nose. What would I know, right!

Ok rant over. Here's to hoping that I can get some help from the GP and hospice with this tomorrow.
Tomorrow, my 38th birthday, and 3 years to the day that I ran around like a crazy man trying to get a doctor to see my mum who had just admitted to me she thought she had breast cancer.

Birthdays are great eh!"

Snazy

Another typical birthday begins, and this year, it starts with an ambulance.
Mum has been unwell and a bit unwilling for the past 24 hours, but this morning is refusing to get out of bed, to take food or drink, or even her medication.

The carer called me in this morning to say how she had found mum, and on speaking to the GP he informed a home visit was not worth while, and he would send an ambulance for her.

Feels her general condition warrants a trip to the hospital to check her over and see what they can do for her.

All feels rather normal to me these days, less adrenalin pumping round the old body, even though I know an ambulance is coming for mum. How am I writing this you ask, should I not be doing something else?
Well the doctor has advised its a non priority 1 hour call for the ambulance, and in my judgement, given how she will respond on their arrival, especially to me, its better I stay out of the way for now.

I am expecting them to advise that she is dehydrated, and a little malnourished, as for what any other tests might show, that's hard to know, but I'm sure time will tell.

So here goes, waiting on the ambulance and what she says to them now. If she refuses to go with them, this is going to be one hell of a day. And if she does go with them, who knows what to expect.

Hysteria1983

Snazy, I can understand how writing in here helps a little. We are all here for you

I might start up a blog somewhere to help me out from time to time.

I hope that your mum is ok, and with a little nudge in the right direction she will get back on track with the meds.

I can only imagine how hard it is to take it all on board, so chin up

Snazy

Well the medics have been here for about 30-40 mins now. Her complete refusal to go and get help is infuriating. Refusing to go to hospital. The main issues are dehydration and temperature. But positive its the cancer and this is it, she is sure its the cancer, and the time is now.

Leslie

Hell Snazy, it is getting so difficult for you and doubtless your mum as well now. Your mum is obviously an extremely independent person and that all piles up on you of course. Wish your sister was more helpful instead of being a hindrance when she does pitch up!

All I can say is to somehow become as detached and philosophical as possible. If your mum becomes awkward then all you can do is to just accept it and let it ride. Sounds to me that if you try to change her mind she will just do the opposite.

Hope you can continue to fool her with the tablets and also get her to accept the best treatment and in the best place for her.

I just hope you can stand it all successfully and try not to let it wind you up. I know it is easy for me to say but I do understand what the situation must be like for you.

Best wishes for you both from me and I hope it will all settle down for the best for you both.

Les

Snazy

Cheers Les.
The ambulance crews spent almost 2 hours here with mum, offered 4 hospitals and St Christophers Hospice to go to for treatment, but she refused them all. Bad experience at Kings College in 1962 being one of the reasons for not going to that one. Patient transport at St Thomas's is poor in her opinion, St Christophers is too noisy (in the communal room, not the wards)

She has signed a convent form to say thanks but no thanks to treatment and the have had to leave.

Her view is it's the cancer doing this, she will die soon and just wants to be left alone to die now. The GP just called and tried to reason with her and was bold enough to ask her to question the impact it's having on everyone else. She says she is sick of doing things for other people, and making life easier for everyone and is doing this for herself, and just wants to be left to die.

Snazy

My blog is my flippin sanity line right now. Try it, would love to read it if that's ok.