Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
02 January 2011, 10:31 PM
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Difficult to put into word,s and not wanting to offend anyone
When my gran was living with us after major surgery, she was to put it
mildly not on the planet, or then again maybe she was, One day I came
home from school as usual, spoke to grandma, and went up to my room,
About half an hour later my mum came in, and had a right go, apparently
she had come in and found grandma crying her eyes out , saying that
she'd been left alone etc. Any protestations from me fell on deaf ears,
how could i be so cruel etc, didn't i know she was seriously ill ...
For years i lived with that, until a few years after she died, i quizzed my
mum about it, Turns out my mum knew I'd spoken to grandma, it was just
grans way of trying to tell my mum she wasn't happy, but rather than talk
to my mum, she bottled it up.
The real reason behind it, was she wanted to go home to her own house,
and didn't want to be a burden on my mum,
Turns out my mum had know for some time, and was torn between letting
her have her independence, or loosing her. As it was, she recovered from
the surgery, but went a year or so later after moving back to her own
place.
Perhaps your mum knows whats happening but is to scared to bring
it up, so is using the carer as an excuse.
Perhaps you need to look at it from a detached point of view, ask
yourself how long would your mum last if she didn't have you or the carer?
(be honest with yourself, you cant do this long term)
Then look at what her prospects are with the carer? tough love may be
the only option, however hard.
Hang in there Michael, were always here to listen
Mart
When my gran was living with us after major surgery, she was to put it
mildly not on the planet, or then again maybe she was, One day I came
home from school as usual, spoke to grandma, and went up to my room,
About half an hour later my mum came in, and had a right go, apparently
she had come in and found grandma crying her eyes out , saying that
she'd been left alone etc. Any protestations from me fell on deaf ears,
how could i be so cruel etc, didn't i know she was seriously ill ...
For years i lived with that, until a few years after she died, i quizzed my
mum about it, Turns out my mum knew I'd spoken to grandma, it was just
grans way of trying to tell my mum she wasn't happy, but rather than talk
to my mum, she bottled it up.
The real reason behind it, was she wanted to go home to her own house,
and didn't want to be a burden on my mum,
Turns out my mum had know for some time, and was torn between letting
her have her independence, or loosing her. As it was, she recovered from
the surgery, but went a year or so later after moving back to her own
place.
Perhaps your mum knows whats happening but is to scared to bring
it up, so is using the carer as an excuse.
Perhaps you need to look at it from a detached point of view, ask
yourself how long would your mum last if she didn't have you or the carer?
(be honest with yourself, you cant do this long term)
Then look at what her prospects are with the carer? tough love may be
the only option, however hard.
Hang in there Michael, were always here to listen
Mart
02 January 2011, 10:41 PM
#692
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Cheers Mart, makes sense mate. I have been in that torn situation too, not knowing if I should tell mums sister about her cancer, then subsequently tell mum about her sisters cancer, so know it is tough from that perspective too.
I know mum uses me as a channel for her anger, fear and upset, and to a degree I can handle it. But I'm the one here day in day out, sorting doctors, meds, appointments, food etc out. So to be kicked in the ***** then relied upon is a big ask some days.
When I spoke with the hospice nurse the other day she said they slowly start the conversation about death over a period of time to get the person talking about it and opening up about their anguish etc, which is definatly what is needed here I think.
I just went to talk to mum and say I know she is the one dying and no I don't know how it feels, but I do know how it feels to be losing my mum, and that sometimes I struggle.
She said it was ok now as she had been frustrated and had blown off steam now, so it was all ok. Maybe I should have left it there, but I tried to explain it might be alright for her, but it hurts me being shouted at and blamed for things when I'm trying to help. At this point she just switched off and started talking more generally.
Throughout this evening I have reached out to my sister, texting her to say I was struggling with mum, and could not take much more........ 2-3 hours later, no reply. Cheers sis!
With regards the carer, I have tried to explain and think I got through, that the idea is to break the ice with the carer at this point, and build a working relationship with her, so when the time comes there is trust there for her to help. So I don't want to cancel the carer or cut back her visits in case they change the person coming. She is a lovely girl but mum not being able to hear does not help matters. That should be sorted in the next few days though.
I know mum uses me as a channel for her anger, fear and upset, and to a degree I can handle it. But I'm the one here day in day out, sorting doctors, meds, appointments, food etc out. So to be kicked in the ***** then relied upon is a big ask some days.
When I spoke with the hospice nurse the other day she said they slowly start the conversation about death over a period of time to get the person talking about it and opening up about their anguish etc, which is definatly what is needed here I think.
I just went to talk to mum and say I know she is the one dying and no I don't know how it feels, but I do know how it feels to be losing my mum, and that sometimes I struggle.
She said it was ok now as she had been frustrated and had blown off steam now, so it was all ok. Maybe I should have left it there, but I tried to explain it might be alright for her, but it hurts me being shouted at and blamed for things when I'm trying to help. At this point she just switched off and started talking more generally.
Throughout this evening I have reached out to my sister, texting her to say I was struggling with mum, and could not take much more........ 2-3 hours later, no reply. Cheers sis!
With regards the carer, I have tried to explain and think I got through, that the idea is to break the ice with the carer at this point, and build a working relationship with her, so when the time comes there is trust there for her to help. So I don't want to cancel the carer or cut back her visits in case they change the person coming. She is a lovely girl but mum not being able to hear does not help matters. That should be sorted in the next few days though.
Last edited by Snazy; 02 January 2011 at 10:44 PM.
02 January 2011, 11:40 PM
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St Christophers have a family worker/ counseller to look after me and help out with chats etc, I'm hoping to speak to them quite soon.
Dr has also referred me, and there is a carers group locally too that I can turn to, even just to blow off some steam for now.
I have a few good options.
Dr has also referred me, and there is a carers group locally too that I can turn to, even just to blow off some steam for now.
I have a few good options.
03 January 2011, 10:16 AM
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03 January 2011, 10:38 AM
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Yup sure do Chip although it's taken a long time to start realising it and reaching out to them. Still early days for speaking to them about it, but hoping that over time it will help more.
Today she is like nothing happened yesterday and was fine with the carer as usual.
They sat in the kitchen this morning, and mum had breakfast, but same usual "I do nothing then complain later" routine. Sitting 3ft from the microwave, telling the carer she was doing it wrong but not just showing her what she meant.
Still, I am trying a different approach to the day today, and making sure I get out and get some fresh air and space, so I'm off to walk the dogs.
Today she is like nothing happened yesterday and was fine with the carer as usual.
They sat in the kitchen this morning, and mum had breakfast, but same usual "I do nothing then complain later" routine. Sitting 3ft from the microwave, telling the carer she was doing it wrong but not just showing her what she meant.
Still, I am trying a different approach to the day today, and making sure I get out and get some fresh air and space, so I'm off to walk the dogs.
03 January 2011, 12:09 PM
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St Christophers have a family worker/ counseller to look after me and help out with chats etc, I'm hoping to speak to them quite soon.
Dr has also referred me, and there is a carers group locally too that I can turn to, even just to blow off some steam for now.
I have a few good options.
Dr has also referred me, and there is a carers group locally too that I can turn to, even just to blow off some steam for now.
I have a few good options.
I can understand how difficult things are what with your mum's changing attitudes and the difficulties of communication with her, as well as what you get from your sister.
Of course you are doing the right things by her, you could not do more. It is a most difficult time for you and your mum of course. I think you have to accept that what your mum says is all down to her own position and how she feels personally as well of course. Maybe if you just go along with her pronouncements and agree half the time knowing that she will change her mind anyway, but not let it get on your own nerves, that might help. Might even change her ideas too!
I certainly think that if you do get involved with the carers and also the counsellor that you can get a great deal of help and advice from them which will help to strengthen your resolve. Having seen Mrs Leslie cope for a long time with her deeply demented mother, I know very well how difficult the whole business is. She did so well to ride out all the difficulties and irritations and managed extremely well.
I know you are doing the same and I imagine that telling us about it is helping as well. I hope you continue to do that because SN is full of people who sympathise and only want to help as far as possible. You have already had a lot of helpful advice from people here and I am sure you realise that will continue of course.
Les
03 January 2011, 12:20 PM
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Cheers Les, yup sharing helps especially when you know you are sharing with people who both understand and are also going through similar and could gain something from all this writing.
Most of the time I nod and smile, let her feel she is getting her own way, then do the opposite like you say. With the Linkline alarm etc, I agreed that she didn't want it, but got it anyway. She now accepts it's a must. Making unpopular decisions is something I do very well, especially when I feel the are for the best.
The bit that really gets to me the most is being hit with a low blow, a personal shot when my guard is down. After a long day of hanging around, making sure I'm there at the right time, ensuring she has all that she needs, but at the same time staying out of the way enough to allow her independence,then getting told you don't care, or are taking someone elses side etc is really hard to take at times.
The communication between mum and the carer are a joke. The reports are well written, her speech to me is fine, and the are currently discussing sudoku, so that's hardly a communication problem. It just suits mum to push her away from helping her by saying she can't understand her. She does the same with doctors etc too. Her other favourite is using her deafness as an excuse not to talk to people.
I know that shutting down socially as I have is not helping me at all, but right now I'm just not in the mood for doing much. So it's a bit of a vicious circle for me right now, but hopefully with things returning to normal now and the holidays being over, I can start to get myself back together and back to being useful.
Most of the time I nod and smile, let her feel she is getting her own way, then do the opposite like you say. With the Linkline alarm etc, I agreed that she didn't want it, but got it anyway. She now accepts it's a must. Making unpopular decisions is something I do very well, especially when I feel the are for the best.
The bit that really gets to me the most is being hit with a low blow, a personal shot when my guard is down. After a long day of hanging around, making sure I'm there at the right time, ensuring she has all that she needs, but at the same time staying out of the way enough to allow her independence,then getting told you don't care, or are taking someone elses side etc is really hard to take at times.
The communication between mum and the carer are a joke. The reports are well written, her speech to me is fine, and the are currently discussing sudoku, so that's hardly a communication problem. It just suits mum to push her away from helping her by saying she can't understand her. She does the same with doctors etc too. Her other favourite is using her deafness as an excuse not to talk to people.
I know that shutting down socially as I have is not helping me at all, but right now I'm just not in the mood for doing much. So it's a bit of a vicious circle for me right now, but hopefully with things returning to normal now and the holidays being over, I can start to get myself back together and back to being useful.
05 January 2011, 11:46 AM
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Hmmm... Mum is sleeping a LOT right now, so am seeing about speaking to the nurse from St Christophers to see if this is good, bad, or expected.
She has recently ended a course of steroids for the tumour. When I was speaking to the nurse about these the other day she mentioned that they acted as a bit of an upper and gave mum a boost, which could have been why mum was saying she was not sleeping.
Right up until a couple of days ago she was saying she only sleeps 4-5 hours a night, and now she cant even really stay awake. Fell asleep at the table for breakfast this morning.
Not sure which is worst, not being able to sleep, or not being able to stay awake.
Speaking of sleep, I wish I could get some. I have finally realised why I feel pooped all the time. I struggle to settle at night, but once I do I have discovered that I dont seem to reach deep sleep. The smallest sound wakes me, where I am constantly listening out for mum coughing, choking, falling, calling or whatever else she might do.
I have an appointment to see the family worker today to discuss the impact of all this on me, and what they can do to help. To be honest, even just unloading some of the thoughts in my mind right now will be a great help.
I was doing a blog entry yesterday, and as I wrote, things were starting to make sense. This has happened a lot recently, and is why I started blogging in the first place, it helps me hear my own thoughts clearer, if that makes sense.
Right, better get on and check up on mum, and see if she can start taking a small dose of the steroids again, just to give her a little kick for the day, so she can do something more enjoyable than sleeping slumped in the recliner chair that she refuses to recline.
She has recently ended a course of steroids for the tumour. When I was speaking to the nurse about these the other day she mentioned that they acted as a bit of an upper and gave mum a boost, which could have been why mum was saying she was not sleeping.
Right up until a couple of days ago she was saying she only sleeps 4-5 hours a night, and now she cant even really stay awake. Fell asleep at the table for breakfast this morning.
Not sure which is worst, not being able to sleep, or not being able to stay awake.
Speaking of sleep, I wish I could get some. I have finally realised why I feel pooped all the time. I struggle to settle at night, but once I do I have discovered that I dont seem to reach deep sleep. The smallest sound wakes me, where I am constantly listening out for mum coughing, choking, falling, calling or whatever else she might do.
I have an appointment to see the family worker today to discuss the impact of all this on me, and what they can do to help. To be honest, even just unloading some of the thoughts in my mind right now will be a great help.
I was doing a blog entry yesterday, and as I wrote, things were starting to make sense. This has happened a lot recently, and is why I started blogging in the first place, it helps me hear my own thoughts clearer, if that makes sense.
Right, better get on and check up on mum, and see if she can start taking a small dose of the steroids again, just to give her a little kick for the day, so she can do something more enjoyable than sleeping slumped in the recliner chair that she refuses to recline.
05 January 2011, 12:00 PM
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Michael, I've found these really helpful throughout the ordeal..
I have some meds to lighten the mental load which work well, and help me relax, but just think its a mental block stopping me from deep sleep. Constantly paranoid that I will miss her calling me, or wont here her coughing badly as she has done recently.
My other option is to get some rest in the afternoon, but seems there is always something to do, shops, cleaning, cooking, appointments etc. On the odd occasion I have managed to nap, I then find I cant sleep at night....
lol
12 January 2011, 01:52 PM
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Time for another update I guess, so here goes.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
12 January 2011, 02:48 PM
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Michael,
Glad to see that mum is coping a little better now. Hopefully she will continue for a little while longer.
As for your situation then surely they will show a little compassion after all that has been going on. I work for a big company and they have been good to us with time off etc though even they could have been a little better at times I supppose.
All the best.
Chip
Glad to see that mum is coping a little better now. Hopefully she will continue for a little while longer.
As for your situation then surely they will show a little compassion after all that has been going on. I work for a big company and they have been good to us with time off etc though even they could have been a little better at times I supppose.
All the best.
Chip
12 January 2011, 03:11 PM
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Michael,
Glad to see that mum is coping a little better now. Hopefully she will continue for a little while longer.
As for your situation then surely they will show a little compassion after all that has been going on. I work for a big company and they have been good to us with time off etc though even they could have been a little better at times I supppose.
All the best.
Chip
Glad to see that mum is coping a little better now. Hopefully she will continue for a little while longer.
As for your situation then surely they will show a little compassion after all that has been going on. I work for a big company and they have been good to us with time off etc though even they could have been a little better at times I supppose.
All the best.
Chip
I can't knock work, they have indeed been brilliant, but my doom and gloom train of thought is expecting the worst as always. The people coming are good as gold, so I'm not expecting a hard time.
Everytime what pops up ?
12 January 2011, 08:10 PM
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Snazy
With regards to your work situation:
I know you are being quite realistic about the whole thing but IIRC you were off on the sick for an awful long time (was it a shoulder injury or something?) relatively recently and no matter how good your employer is, there does come a point.
Anyway, good to hear your mum has got some of her old energy back, that's great news
With regards to your work situation:
I know you are being quite realistic about the whole thing but IIRC you were off on the sick for an awful long time (was it a shoulder injury or something?) relatively recently and no matter how good your employer is, there does come a point.
Anyway, good to hear your mum has got some of her old energy back, that's great news
Last edited by SiPie; 12 January 2011 at 08:12 PM.
12 January 2011, 08:24 PM
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Snazy
With regards to your work situation:
I know you are being quite realistic about the whole thing but IIRC you were off on the sick for an awful long time (was it a shoulder injury or something?) relatively recently and no matter how good your employer is, there does come a point.
Anyway, good to hear your mum has got some of her old energy back, that's great news
With regards to your work situation:
I know you are being quite realistic about the whole thing but IIRC you were off on the sick for an awful long time (was it a shoulder injury or something?) relatively recently and no matter how good your employer is, there does come a point.
Anyway, good to hear your mum has got some of her old energy back, that's great news
I don't for one second wanna be out of the game for too long, really I would probably get by day by day better if I was keeping myself occupied with some structure, but right now that's just not realistic for me.
If they wanted to let me go I would understand.
The absence you refer to out of interest ended in a successful law suit against them, so thats a grey area.
12 January 2011, 08:25 PM
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Time for another update I guess, so here goes.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
im glad she is pushing the chair about and getting about hope your alright and your mum my mums goin to christies for radiotherapy now had the mask made last week frightening experience take care mate
12 January 2011, 08:28 PM
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Yeah mum said the fitting up for the mask was a bit weird to say the least.
The nurse at the hospice thought it was brilliant that mum had found an alternative use for the chair lol.
Hope all goes well for your mum with the RT.
12 January 2011, 08:32 PM
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Time for another update I guess, so here goes.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
For starters mum has found a boost in energy recently. After some talking with the hospice, we seem to have found a happy balance of steroids and sleeping tablets. Because of this, she has recently burst into life. For example, she has been given a wheelchair from the hospice until she gets her own. On Sunday I decided to take her to the park, and she asked if she could walk a bit, pushing the wheelchair herself, so I let her. She was off like a whippet! Walking at a fair old pace for quite some time, even tackling a couple of inclines. Since then we have been to a different park daily and she has enjoyed a good walk. We are off out again in a bit. She said it's made her legs much stronger which helps with getting in and out of chairs etc.
We went to the hospice this morning for a clinic visit, as an attempt to get ther through the doors of the place, needless to say as soon as she was through the door she was in love with the place. Unfortunately I was wrong about her hair, and it seems she is going to suffer a total loss, which is putting her off the idea of spending a day at the hospice just yet. Hopefully we will get her there yet.
With regards to her hair, after speaking to the nurse she has been referred to the department who deal with wigs to see what they can do for her. Also looking into other things such as hats etc just to give her some options. She is finding the hair loss quite distressing, but is dealing with it quite well, making light of it where she can.
I have a home visit from work tomorrow to see what's going on with me and being off work. Kind of expecting some kind of bombshell regarding pay to be dropped on me, but will manage somehow. Talking to mum and the nurse, I'm not expecting things to get too much easier for me just yet. So I have arranged an appointment with the doctor for the morning to get his assessment on my condition before the meeting with work.
Sister has been round a few times now that the kids are a little healthier. Still can't grasp the idea of coming round on her own, or with less people. Instead the whole entourage has to come along, so that's 6 of them. Shouting, screaming, crying it's all good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
All the best with work, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Good luck to your Mum, Nick.
12 January 2011, 08:36 PM
#713
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Your Mum really is a trooper, Michael. So sorry about her hair. Looks like my Sis in Law was lucky on that one. I am sure she will enjoy herself looking at wigs. She seems to have a new lease of life with the chair. Bless her.
All the best with work, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Good luck to your Mum, Nick.
All the best with work, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Good luck to your Mum, Nick.
Mum was fine up until now, she has had a few bouts of chemotherapy and RT but the RT on the brain was the final straw for her hair. She is indeed excited about her wig.
12 January 2011, 08:36 PM
#714
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Your Mum really is a trooper, Michael. So sorry about her hair. Looks like my Sis in Law was lucky on that one. I am sure she will enjoy herself looking at wigs. She seems to have a new lease of life with the chair. Bless her.
All the best with work, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Good luck to your Mum, Nick.
All the best with work, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Good luck to your Mum, Nick.
12 January 2011, 08:57 PM
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My fiancée has just been diagnosed with BCC cancer in her ear. It's the second time she's had it in the last year or so. The surgeon is trying to get it removed as soon as poss as we're getting married in March. She's stressing that her ear is going to be all swollen and bandaged up for the wedding. Fortunatley if you can say that, it's not a life threatening but as she's says it's the C word that makes it worse.
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
Last edited by ronjeramy; 12 January 2011 at 08:59 PM.
12 January 2011, 09:01 PM
#716
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My fiancée has just been diagnosed with BCC cancer in her ear. It's the second time she's had it in the last year or so. The surgeon is trying to get it removed as soon as poss as we're getting married in March. She's stressing that her ear is going to be all swollen and bandaged up for the wedding.
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
Surgery these days seems to be less and less intrusive so I have my fingers crossed that this is the case for your wife to be.
All the best with it and please let us know how it goes. Thoughts are with you both.
12 January 2011, 09:06 PM
#717
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My fiancée has just been diagnosed with BCC cancer in her ear. It's the second time she's had it in the last year or so. The surgeon is trying to get it removed as soon as poss as we're getting married in March. She's stressing that her ear is going to be all swollen and bandaged up for the wedding. Fortunatley if you can say that, it's not a life threatening but as she's says it's the C word that makes it worse.
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
Good luck to your Mum Nick And yours Snazy
good luck to you and your missus keep us informed on the thread take care
12 January 2011, 09:42 PM
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Anyway best of luck to your wife, hope all works out well for you both.
Chip