Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
14 February 2011, 12:11 PM
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Just done another monumental blog entry to get it all out, but still feeling somewhat pissed off and a touch confused.
www.michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com
www.michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com
14 February 2011, 01:05 PM
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Cheers Les.
The ambulance crews spent almost 2 hours here with mum, offered 4 hospitals and St Christophers Hospice to go to for treatment, but she refused them all. Bad experience at Kings College in 1962 being one of the reasons for not going to that one. Patient transport at St Thomas's is poor in her opinion, St Christophers is too noisy (in the communal room, not the wards)
She has signed a convent form to say thanks but no thanks to treatment and the have had to leave.
Her view is it's the cancer doing this, she will die soon and just wants to be left alone to die now. The GP just called and tried to reason with her and was bold enough to ask her to question the impact it's having on everyone else. She says she is sick of doing things for other people, and making life easier for everyone and is doing this for herself, and just wants to be left to die.
The ambulance crews spent almost 2 hours here with mum, offered 4 hospitals and St Christophers Hospice to go to for treatment, but she refused them all. Bad experience at Kings College in 1962 being one of the reasons for not going to that one. Patient transport at St Thomas's is poor in her opinion, St Christophers is too noisy (in the communal room, not the wards)
She has signed a convent form to say thanks but no thanks to treatment and the have had to leave.
Her view is it's the cancer doing this, she will die soon and just wants to be left alone to die now. The GP just called and tried to reason with her and was bold enough to ask her to question the impact it's having on everyone else. She says she is sick of doing things for other people, and making life easier for everyone and is doing this for herself, and just wants to be left to die.
Les
14 February 2011, 01:09 PM
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Cheers Les, I am keeping my distance for now. She is annoyed with me, and I am slowly trying to settle down before I get fed up with her and turn off completely which will help no one.
I know what you mean. Not having cancer it is hard to see it from her point of view. However she has done the whole dehydrated "this is it" thing 4 times now, and every time has felt so much better once rehydrated. Even if there is no miraculous bounce back, she would be comfier if nothing else.
I know what you mean. Not having cancer it is hard to see it from her point of view. However she has done the whole dehydrated "this is it" thing 4 times now, and every time has felt so much better once rehydrated. Even if there is no miraculous bounce back, she would be comfier if nothing else.
14 February 2011, 04:00 PM
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Cheers Les.
The ambulance crews spent almost 2 hours here with mum, offered 4 hospitals and St Christophers Hospice to go to for treatment, but she refused them all. Bad experience at Kings College in 1962 being one of the reasons for not going to that one. Patient transport at St Thomas's is poor in her opinion, St Christophers is too noisy (in the communal room, not the wards)
She has signed a convent form to say thanks but no thanks to treatment and the have had to leave.
Her view is it's the cancer doing this, she will die soon and just wants to be left alone to die now. The GP just called and tried to reason with her and was bold enough to ask her to question the impact it's having on everyone else. She says she is sick of doing things for other people, and making life easier for everyone and is doing this for herself, and just wants to be left to die.
The ambulance crews spent almost 2 hours here with mum, offered 4 hospitals and St Christophers Hospice to go to for treatment, but she refused them all. Bad experience at Kings College in 1962 being one of the reasons for not going to that one. Patient transport at St Thomas's is poor in her opinion, St Christophers is too noisy (in the communal room, not the wards)
She has signed a convent form to say thanks but no thanks to treatment and the have had to leave.
Her view is it's the cancer doing this, she will die soon and just wants to be left alone to die now. The GP just called and tried to reason with her and was bold enough to ask her to question the impact it's having on everyone else. She says she is sick of doing things for other people, and making life easier for everyone and is doing this for herself, and just wants to be left to die.
Older people can be really stubborn, especially if she has made her mind up.
You seem to be taking it all on your shoulders, which is admirable, but you must make time for yourself.
I feel for you both. Hugs
14 February 2011, 04:11 PM
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Cheers Lee. Gets even better. The GP came out later and working with her to try and give her care at home, he has prescribed some meds to try. While the doc was here I put the dogs in my room.
While out getting the prescription done I bought a pizza, the birthday treat I promised myself. Came home to eat it, lay on the bed to relax for 5, and..... Tuvaaq has puked 3 times on my bed, thru the duvet, sheets and down to the mattress.
Happy birthday to me lol
Me and mum are talking again now though so,
While out getting the prescription done I bought a pizza, the birthday treat I promised myself. Came home to eat it, lay on the bed to relax for 5, and..... Tuvaaq has puked 3 times on my bed, thru the duvet, sheets and down to the mattress.
Happy birthday to me lol
Me and mum are talking again now though so,
Oh God, Snazy. You really are going through the mill with your poor Mum.
Older people can be really stubborn, especially if she has made her mind up.
You seem to be taking it all on your shoulders, which is admirable, but you must make time for yourself.
I feel for you both. Hugs
Older people can be really stubborn, especially if she has made her mind up.
You seem to be taking it all on your shoulders, which is admirable, but you must make time for yourself.
I feel for you both. Hugs
15 February 2011, 06:09 PM
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Ok, another update from the blog.
There are a couple on there about mum today actually, but I cut and paste this one...
(The others are at www.michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com ).
In short, mum is doing better today though
Yesterday, with all the medical people talking, visiting, and giving advice over the phone, mum made her stand and said she was sick and tired of being told she was dehydrated, as everytime she drank something it just went straight through her.
This was of course corrected by the doctors, and she was told it was doing its job of clearing out toxins on the way through, so doing more than mearly passing through.
Either way she said she would not be drinking more than she already was as she was tired of going to the toilet. Told that failure to do so would result in a urine infection which she may already have, then spread to the kidneys which would be very painful, she barked a reply which said no one knew what kind of pain she was in, and kidney infection was the least of her worries.
The doctor however prescribed rehydration powders, aimed at helping her retain a little water, and with persistence I have got her to drink 2 yesterday and 2 today. So you can imagine my surprise (or lack of) when she came to talk to me today and informed me she had made a decision. She said due to the LACK of going to the toilet today, and the building discomfort in her kidneys, she will NOT be having any more than one of these drinks a day now, as she WANTS to wee more to clear up the apparent kidney infection she feels she is getting now, as its very painful.
For the record, it is obviously important to both be able to retain AND pass fluids in order to stay hydrated and keep the toxins passing through your system. Mum however sees this as different doctors contradicting one another, and that either she needs to retain or pass water. Doing both is clearly impossible.
Dear oh dear!
There are a couple on there about mum today actually, but I cut and paste this one...
(The others are at www.michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com ).
In short, mum is doing better today though
Yesterday, with all the medical people talking, visiting, and giving advice over the phone, mum made her stand and said she was sick and tired of being told she was dehydrated, as everytime she drank something it just went straight through her.
This was of course corrected by the doctors, and she was told it was doing its job of clearing out toxins on the way through, so doing more than mearly passing through.
Either way she said she would not be drinking more than she already was as she was tired of going to the toilet. Told that failure to do so would result in a urine infection which she may already have, then spread to the kidneys which would be very painful, she barked a reply which said no one knew what kind of pain she was in, and kidney infection was the least of her worries.
The doctor however prescribed rehydration powders, aimed at helping her retain a little water, and with persistence I have got her to drink 2 yesterday and 2 today. So you can imagine my surprise (or lack of) when she came to talk to me today and informed me she had made a decision. She said due to the LACK of going to the toilet today, and the building discomfort in her kidneys, she will NOT be having any more than one of these drinks a day now, as she WANTS to wee more to clear up the apparent kidney infection she feels she is getting now, as its very painful.
For the record, it is obviously important to both be able to retain AND pass fluids in order to stay hydrated and keep the toxins passing through your system. Mum however sees this as different doctors contradicting one another, and that either she needs to retain or pass water. Doing both is clearly impossible.
Dear oh dear!
16 February 2011, 02:27 PM
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I just wish you all the strength you need to ride out the situation Snazy. Sounds to me that you have to carry on expecting anything to come back at you.
I think you need a big dose of "philosophical"
Les
I think you need a big dose of "philosophical"
Les
16 February 2011, 03:15 PM
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The situation is fluid, will change to something else tomorrow I'm sure.
New carer is going well, but mums latest habit is to cook or make food before the carer gets here, then as soon as they turn up she says she can't eat anymore and feels sick.
The most constant and frustrating thing is her feeling 'sick'.
When she eats or drinks she will more often than not get wind. This she says is her feeling sick, so constantly tells people she suffers from nausea whenever she tries to eat or drink, so it's very difficult to do.
Other than that her condition is a lot better than the last few days, so the fluids and steroids are doing the trick, like it or not lol.
Wonder if she remembers or would admit that 2 days ago she just wanted to be left to die.
20 February 2011, 07:34 PM
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update on my mum her bowel is leaking now and has to have a repair operation all this on top off havin cancer **** me things get worse not better
04 March 2011, 02:39 PM
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Cheers Chip, hanging in there.
Been a trying couple of weeks here, mum up and down every few days. Currently on a down, very weak, steroids and other meds not really doing much anymore, she has been stuck in bed for 3 days now. In good spirits and talking ok, even doing ok with food and drink, but no improvements. Wondering now if this is genuine progression of the cancer.
Had a go at taking a day of respite on Wednesday by visiting a friend in hospital in Birmingham, but that all went wrong, with my sister texting me within hours of me leaving London to say mum was ill being awkward so she had just left her to it. Clearly one day away from it all is to much to ask for.
Anyway I have been blogging again and trying to dig deep, so if you are bored or interested, please read on...
To anyone who knows me, truly. Likes, loves, or even dislikes me, I wrote this for you. My apologies for the rambling, but it's a long time since I tried to tap in so deep. So please feel free to read, comment, laugh or share this message from my heart.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...rom-heart.html
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...rom-heart.html
04 March 2011, 03:29 PM
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Cheers Les, was partly down to timing really. But messages from my sister first thing in the morning indicated mum was really bad, but could not give me a straight yes or no as to if I should come home.
Called the doctor out, picked new meds up, but could not "work out" how to give her what she needed.
When she said she had left I asked if mum was ok on her own. Her response was that she had some things to do, like getting her sons birthday present, so would get back when she could. Unreal.
The just turned up at the house with 2 crying babies and her boyfriend, who could easily have stayed at home with them both.
My my.
Called the doctor out, picked new meds up, but could not "work out" how to give her what she needed.
When she said she had left I asked if mum was ok on her own. Her response was that she had some things to do, like getting her sons birthday present, so would get back when she could. Unreal.
The just turned up at the house with 2 crying babies and her boyfriend, who could easily have stayed at home with them both.
My my.
04 March 2011, 06:12 PM
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Cheers Les, was partly down to timing really. But messages from my sister first thing in the morning indicated mum was really bad, but could not give me a straight yes or no as to if I should come home.
Called the doctor out, picked new meds up, but could not "work out" how to give her what she needed.
When she said she had left I asked if mum was ok on her own. Her response was that she had some things to do, like getting her sons birthday present, so would get back when she could. Unreal.
The just turned up at the house with 2 crying babies and her boyfriend, who could easily have stayed at home with them both.
My my.
Called the doctor out, picked new meds up, but could not "work out" how to give her what she needed.
When she said she had left I asked if mum was ok on her own. Her response was that she had some things to do, like getting her sons birthday present, so would get back when she could. Unreal.
The just turned up at the house with 2 crying babies and her boyfriend, who could easily have stayed at home with them both.
My my.
try and stay positive i know its hard my mums still in hospital cant walk cant eat and they tried to make her walk to the toilet which she did then collapsed fookin nhs for you
04 March 2011, 06:17 PM
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Sorry to hear mum is having a rough time. Not sure if things would be different in a private hospital, they all have good and bad staff, but hope the care improves either way.
07 March 2011, 10:23 AM
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Bit random maybe, but thought I would try and make a diary blog of this whole journey.
So here is it ,well the start anyway.
http://annsnasdell.blogspot.com/
So here is it ,well the start anyway.
http://annsnasdell.blogspot.com/
07 March 2011, 11:40 AM
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Thanks Les. Like I say its only in infant stages but hopefully will work out. Probably adding later on today while its all flowing, Glad I have this thread as a solid timeline though
08 March 2011, 12:26 PM
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Thank heavens for scoobynet and my original blog. As I am writing the new blog I am using both as a reference, and have to say it's great to have something to read back through, and also a stark reminder of everything tha has happened. To be honest I think I had started to forget huge segments of this journey with mum. All the time spent at Guys in the chemo clinic for starters.
So, another entry completed.
http://annsnasdell.blogspot.com/2011...ts-are-in.html
Hope it reads ok, and is starting to take shape the way I want it to. The idea is a first hand perspective of being in this position, hopefully as some kind of reference or story to follow for anyone else trying to take the journey too.
So, another entry completed.
http://annsnasdell.blogspot.com/2011...ts-are-in.html
Hope it reads ok, and is starting to take shape the way I want it to. The idea is a first hand perspective of being in this position, hopefully as some kind of reference or story to follow for anyone else trying to take the journey too.
08 March 2011, 06:25 PM
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I hope its all making sense the way it is written. I keep getting tangled in tenses, but apart from that it seems to make sense to me so far lol
08 March 2011, 11:08 PM
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10 March 2011, 05:15 PM
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update not very good im afraid my mums still in hospital cant walk or breathe properly not the cancer and is getting weaker and weaker her bowel needs operating on but they wont do it to weak for a 4 hour operation anyway be lucky if she makes the night trying to get her home if she does my dads allover the place so am i life is so **** wonderfull mum didnt deserve this
29 March 2011, 12:32 PM
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How are things going guys? Hope everyone is baring up.
Things just took a bit of a weird turn here which have really complicated matters to say the least. While mums health seems quite stable for the time being, other family matters have taken a turn.
Blogged it.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...eat-wedge.html
Things just took a bit of a weird turn here which have really complicated matters to say the least. While mums health seems quite stable for the time being, other family matters have taken a turn.
Blogged it.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...eat-wedge.html
29 March 2011, 11:29 PM
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How are things going guys? Hope everyone is baring up.
Things just took a bit of a weird turn here which have really complicated matters to say the least. While mums health seems quite stable for the time being, other family matters have taken a turn.
Blogged it.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...eat-wedge.html
Things just took a bit of a weird turn here which have really complicated matters to say the least. While mums health seems quite stable for the time being, other family matters have taken a turn.
Blogged it.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...eat-wedge.html
Hell Snazy, thats a bad situation for you now. It is getting impossible.
You really can't handle it all unless you have control of the cash to do it with.The only person to have control of the money is the one who is responsible for your mother's care on a daily basis. Seems like you are being used with all the reponsibility and the difficulties at the moment.
I hope it can be sorted out to make things easier for you.
Les
30 March 2011, 08:12 AM
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Hi Les, cheers for the PM. Thanks also to the others who have messaged too.
Situation has changed after a conversation with mum last night. It might sound weird but I recorded the conversation, so I could play it back to my girlfriend to see what she thought of it, and if I pressured mum or anything. Not being sure how sound mums mind is right now, I thought it was best to do that.
We talked about all her concerns and reasoning for the decision, which to be honest was not very sound. The reasons she gave for the switch in arrangements was, didn't have cash in the house and doesn't like Tesco's food!
So she wants to reverse her decision now lol
Situation has changed after a conversation with mum last night. It might sound weird but I recorded the conversation, so I could play it back to my girlfriend to see what she thought of it, and if I pressured mum or anything. Not being sure how sound mums mind is right now, I thought it was best to do that.
We talked about all her concerns and reasoning for the decision, which to be honest was not very sound. The reasons she gave for the switch in arrangements was, didn't have cash in the house and doesn't like Tesco's food!
So she wants to reverse her decision now lol