Here's to a good christmas with people you love remembering those that we have lost.

I know it will be hard at times but Mum would have wanted us to have fun so we will not be feeling guilty about laughing. She was as daft as a brush most of the time

To everyone that has contributed on Sara's thread - thank you.

Hectic - my thoughts are with you, it is never nice to see someone fade away - just remember the person inside is still the same, even if they cant get out at times.

 

Hope you have a good Christmas Dynamix, your mum would want you to enjoy it as much as possible

my Dad was the same, daft lol, so I still keep laughing without the need to feel awful about it

Hope everyone else who is going through the same has as great a Christmas as poss

 

this last week has been harder for me than i realized. when i lost mum in August there was so much to do and organize that i didn't miss my mum as much as i do now, i keep crying for silly things. even writing this now has upset me

i am really struggling with missing her and its making me feel miserable. i know mum would want me to enjoy Christmas but its just not the same. normally when i visit her grave i am ok but going out and tormenting myself trying to get the right card etc to put on her grave has done my head in. i know it doesn't matter about the 'right' card bla bla bla but it does to me. i cant tell her the things i want to so i felt i had get something that could express how much i love and miss her

as i have a 6 year old daughter i have to be strong and make it lovely for her but my heart isnt in it this year. i imagine this will be the hardest Christmas to get through......it will be nice to get this year out of the way and get back on track.

Duncan, i cant imagine how hard it is for you having to deal with all this when Christmas is here, but i echo what everyone else has said.......its what your mum would have wanted

and John/hectic, i hope things aren't too upsetting for everyone and you are managing to cope. i am thinking about you...

 

found that hug smilie

 

popped into Mother in Laws on way home from work last night,.. Bro in Law was there, had popped in to see mum for Xmas.. he's now balder than me! walking with a stick, and looks like it could be soon, tbh.. but noticed a glint in his eye that proved he's still got the spirit.... kinda poiniant (sp) moment really, Mum I.L. is not in the best of health either and at 84 is no spring chcken, but to see them together for what will undoubtably be their last christmas was wierd to say the least ... sat there looking and listening to them 'remeniscing' and couldnt help but think that NEXT christmas BOTH will probably not be here...
actually took a form af solace in the fact that seeing that spark showed me that he's in there,.. fighting this thing.. and thinking it just goes to show really how LUCKY we are....

 

Our first Christmas without my Dad was so weird, that one place at the table empty, christmas that year was as good as we could make it, we did have a laugh but once you stopped it was just thoughts running through your head and feeling quite terrible about doing what we were doing, since then I've had Shannon ans it eases it a bit as Christmas is for her, keeps you busy atleast, no time to stop and think over things which would no doubt end up with tears.

Sara, I must admit that just about every reply I have typed out on here has had me in tears, always does tbh, it's like going through it all again, I hope your Christmas turns out good for you.

Dynamix, I'll be thinking of you on the 28th as it is our wedding anniversary that day, happy for some and not for others

 

thanks for the hug smilie Duncan

oooooh what a sorry mess we all are
i feel better that ive just had a good cry and my nose is all red. i have pulled myself together i think

 

To all you brave people out there, fighting this horrible illness, supporting those who are suffering and dealing with the loss of a close family member, may I wish you a Happy Christmas. You all deserve it. My thoughts are with you all

 

Duncan, Sara, Hectic, in fact all of you on this thread :

All the best to you all.

Andy Mc

 

Best wishes to all of you that have loved and lost, my thoughts are with you.

 

I hope everyone has a good christmas i know it will be hard over the last 3 years my mum hasn't really bothered much since my grandad died just make the most of the time you have with all your loved ones you dont know when its too late
thinking of you all
Steph

 

Rudolph

 

i am raring to go today (new coffee mchine)

i was very down just before christmas and couldnt shake it off but today i have woken up much more positive. this chrismas was always going to be the hardest to deal with as it is the first without my mum.

i hope everyone here has had a good time and not been too sad

merry xmas

 

have mine, puking kids, ill inlaws,

Mart

 

my daughter was trying to do the vomit trick so she didnt have to eat dinner

today i am starving her so she eats later

i have a new coffeee maker so i am permantly wired now. i can deal with anything

 

no mine was the works

funny how today, he cant eat food as he feels unwell, but choclate is ok as its full of vitamins that help PSML

Kids eh

coffee sounds good milk and 3 sugars please

Mart

 

we had a suprisingly okay christmas... the hard day will be tomorrow with the funeral 10.45 AM in Eastbourne

I am dreading it

Sara - i have to agree with the coffee machine

 

The christmases will get easier - but it will never go away completely - and nor should it!

It's 20 years since my Dad died (June 1986) and I never once forget him at Chirstmas. The first few were a bit trickier, but he was a great believer in the fact that life goes on.

On Chirstmas Eve I was watching some old cine film we have on video and it was really lovley seeing him and remembering the fun we always had.

I saw Terry Waite on TV over christmas and he said the most important thing you can give your children at christmas is great memories - becuase when life gets rough it's those sorts of memories that will get you through - how true!

Much love to all of you not having the greatest of christmases.

 

glad to hear it, mine went ok in the end as well.
tomorrow will be the hardest part to get through, but its supprising how you can laugh and joke when you all have a drink after the funeral. i felt a bit guilty drowning my sorrows but the day was good as we all remembered the good stuff during my mums life, not depressing at all, but the hangover is the worst. good luck for tomorrow Duncan, will be thinking of you x

DBW, why do you talk so much sense for someone so young?

i hope hectic is ok as well...

 

Go to the top of my favourite persons list! I hit 40 next year and I love being called young....

 

i think i had julz in my head as she is only 23

i would take the compliment and run like hell

 

i have asked the powers that be on scoobynet if we could have this thread made into a 'sticky' somewhere or if its at all possible to have a Health/Medical forum added for the thread to become a 'sticky'. i think this thread in particular should be around for a very long time as it have been invaluable to a lot of people but when it drops off the front page it is 'invisible' to a lot of users that may need it. a Health Forum, i think, would be a helpful and much needed tool for this place.

i have had a reply from webby and its a possibility...
i would be interested to know what you all think

 

I think that would be a good idea Sara, as you say this thread is a good place to get a bit of support when you have a bad medical problem to contend with. I can't tell you how much it helped me over that bad patch and I shall be forever grateful to you and everyone else for that.

Les

 

I think it would be a good idea to get other peoples advice and feelings. everyone has said what a great help it has been when their loved one was ill and they came here for support. anyone heard from dynamix i hope he's ok

 

I hope everyone had a good Christmas as well as could be expected. . . .
To Sara for speaking with the appropriate people on a medical forum, hopefully this will get the go ahead. I think it would be an excellent idea. I am sure many people on here suffer from medical conditions and would welcome support and advice from others.
I know I am a relative newbie, but I have found the forum to be very helpful in many ways. I am sure I echo the thoughts of many.
I know I am not very good with words, but my hearts in the right place along with the rest on this thread. Long may it continue.
Anthony

 

yup - ok ... yesterday at the funeral was heavy. really heavy.

It was a massive turn out though to say goodbye to my mum (suzanne) and pay their respects. I dont think the chapel could take anymore people and cars were everywhere and out on the main road - mum would have laughed to know that the traffic jam in eastbourne was her fault

We all had a really good bawl and laughed a lot too thanks to some really personal readings and a funny yet sensitive priest and the masses around us.

My sisters and I feel a lot better now as if a weight has been lifted having done her proud with the ceremony and the arrangements.

thanks

Duncan



ps - Its a great idea to make this a sticky although I supsect that it will always be bumper up to the top as new people find this and add their own experiences.

 

i am glad yesterday went well for you. i was amazed at the turnout at mums funeral as well. i thought i knew all of my mums friends, how wrong i was. i had strange people coming up to me saying 'you must be Sara' and crying all over me, which was difficult as i didnt know them

you did everything you could for your mum now its time to take time out for yourself, make sure you do this as it will catch up with you sooner or later

i do hope this thread will carry on, i myself still need it and many more will need it too, fingers crossed that common sence will prevail and webby will do the right thing...

 

Hi Dynamix,

I am glad that all went well at the funeral. It sounds just like the ones for Sara's Mum and also my own Mum's too. We went to see her grave while we were staying with my sister for Christmas. We were imagining her organising a great party with all her old friends up there I does help when the funeral is all over except that the sense of loss will always be there. We missed her very much at Christmas dinner this time.

My best wishes to you,

Les

 

Hi everyone hope you all had a great new year and didnt get too drunk!
in need of some help my nan died this morning and need to find a poem that i could do but includes flowers as she was a keen gardener any of you know of a good one??
many thanks
Steph xx

 

Hi Steph

Really sorry to hear that

I cant think of one myself... have you considered writing one? It would be much more personal and mean a lot more even if the poetry is not so profound It might be very hard to read out yourself though