No, his mirror's broken.

 

Best offer I've had all day

 

Aha, real life is never quite like it promised in the movies is it?

 

I don't want to create a false impression, I'm a wonderful husband.

Only tonight, my wife complained that's she's coming down with flu-like symptoms, so I left her and the baby and went down the pub just so she didn't have to make me any tea. Now that's considerate!

 

No, they never depict the damp patch

 

Don't pull on it too much! When you do get round to it for 'reproductive purposes' it'll not work! Quality AND quantity!

 

Did you watch desperate housewives the other night? Gabrielle and Carlos had just had sex and she still had her underwear on!

It's not like that in my house....

 

[quote=eClaire]

Don't pull on it too much! When you do get round to it for

Claire, were you schooled in a convent

 

Get it sorted old man


And no, I wasn't. Boroughmuir, me

 

Well, from the snoring I'd say the old heifer is asleep, so I'm off to **** over her back. Have good night, one and all!

 

Minger

 

Such a kind, considerate, caring man, not even waking her up

 

Pull her nightie back down when you've finished, there's a good chap.

 

The trick is to apologise and try to minimise damage, but failing a quick resolution, shrug off any "punishment" by appearing to have a better time in "the dog house"

 

pmsl

 

Lets be honest here. Men can be in a huff better than any 3 year old. I just shut up, respond to any questions with a no, yes or monosyllabic grunt. Always add please or thank you as this stops you being called impolite as well as the rest.
Drives my missus daft. I'm a miserable b%st%rd anyway so no conversation in the house does'nt bother me.

 

£68 on face cream **** me, sure you don't want to get some scaffold in just in cases it collapes

 

Comes to us all J4CKO, don't woryy, it will pass!

Les

 

eee, I remember the good old days when you weren't even getting any