Red Dwarf
16 October 2003, 01:59 PM
#32
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Oh yeah...
Kochanski exclaims 'whats that?' as something scurries under her bunk.
'Nothing to worry about maam', exclaims Kryten ' that's just Archi, my *****'
Kochanski exclaims 'whats that?' as something scurries under her bunk.
'Nothing to worry about maam', exclaims Kryten ' that's just Archi, my *****'
16 October 2003, 02:29 PM
#33
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Archie - the subject in the double polaroid. 
Lister "What have we got left to eat?"
Rimmer "A Pot noodle and a tin of dog food"
Lister "Well its obvious what gets eaten last then. I cant stand pot noodle."
[Edited by messiah - 10/16/2003 2:32:21 PM]
Lister "What have we got left to eat?"
Rimmer "A Pot noodle and a tin of dog food"
Lister "Well its obvious what gets eaten last then. I cant stand pot noodle."
[Edited by messiah - 10/16/2003 2:32:21 PM]
16 October 2003, 02:37 PM
#34
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lister: "when i`m in the mens toilets rimmer i try not to look around you know what i`m sayin? its like playing golf, you keep your head down keep your eye on the ball and try not to veer off to the side!"
16 October 2003, 02:53 PM
#36
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Get that straw out of my ear!!
Pete Tranter's Sister "I know what you want - You want to squeeze my buttocks together to make one juicy giant peach."
Pete Tranter's Sister "I know what you want - You want to squeeze my buttocks together to make one juicy giant peach."
16 October 2003, 02:59 PM
#37
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What a turn up for the books...... Jed Exodus starts a thread and replies and the thread doesn't die!!!!! The shape of things to come?! LOL 
16 October 2003, 06:54 PM
#39
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Have got season 1 and 2 on DVD, classic, need 3. Glad the ones on DVD are NOT the 'remastered' versions as they did overdo some parts.
So, who was the best Kochanski? Miss Grogan or Miss Annet?
So, who was the best Kochanski? Miss Grogan or Miss Annet?
16 October 2003, 07:38 PM
#40
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Lister:
"....it makes about as much sense as putting your wedding tackle in the open mouth of a lion and flicking his love spuds with a wet tea towel...."
can't remember why he siad it but it had me in stitches.....
[Edited by dteagles - 10/16/2003 7:43:22 PM]
"....it makes about as much sense as putting your wedding tackle in the open mouth of a lion and flicking his love spuds with a wet tea towel...."
can't remember why he siad it but it had me in stitches.....
[Edited by dteagles - 10/16/2003 7:43:22 PM]
17 October 2003, 10:38 AM
#45
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And who could forget:
LISTER: Where is everybody, Hol?
HOLLY: They're dead, Dave.
LISTER: Who is?
HOLLY: Everybody, Dave.
LISTER: What, Captain Hollister?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Todhunter?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Selby?
HOLLY: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER is still trying to understand what HOLLY is saying.
LISTER: Petersen isn't, is he?
HOLLY: Everybody is *dead*, Dave.
LISTER: Not Chen?
HOLLY: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: Rimmer?
HOLLY: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
LISTER: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
LISTER: Where is everybody, Hol?
HOLLY: They're dead, Dave.
LISTER: Who is?
HOLLY: Everybody, Dave.
LISTER: What, Captain Hollister?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Todhunter?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Selby?
HOLLY: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER is still trying to understand what HOLLY is saying.
LISTER: Petersen isn't, is he?
HOLLY: Everybody is *dead*, Dave.
LISTER: Not Chen?
HOLLY: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: Rimmer?
HOLLY: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
LISTER: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
17 October 2003, 11:04 AM
#46
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The Chicken Marengo scene
Rimmer telling the Cat that Listers fainted and the Cat keeps getting up then sitting back down.
One of those you have to watch I'm afraid. Sounds crap written down...
Rimmer telling the Cat that Listers fainted and the Cat keeps getting up then sitting back down.
One of those you have to watch I'm afraid. Sounds crap written down...
17 October 2003, 05:28 PM
#52
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When your real name is infact "Dave Lister" (Yes honest) I read these threads and think everyone is talking about me.....
Enough to give a Lister a complex I tell ya..!!!!!
Listy
28 October 2003, 10:39 AM
#53
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They all reach melancholy drunkeness
Kryten or Lister (cant remember haven't seen it for a while) : Mum.........i never had a mum
Rimmer : well you can all have mine, everyone else did!
The bit where Cat and Lister are playing scrabble
Lister: 'Josizqe'????? (or whatever the word was)
Cat : its a cat word
Kryten or Lister (cant remember haven't seen it for a while) : Mum.........i never had a mum
Rimmer : well you can all have mine, everyone else did!
The bit where Cat and Lister are playing scrabble
Lister: 'Josizqe'????? (or whatever the word was)
Cat : its a cat word
28 October 2003, 10:44 AM
#54
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oops just read the top of the page, sorry 'scooby drew' you already posted the mum conversation
I'm gonna have to dig out my old vids, i have the whole lot somewhere
I'm gonna have to dig out my old vids, i have the whole lot somewhere
28 October 2003, 10:44 AM
#55
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"jozxyqk - it's the sound you make when you catch your sexual organs in something."
"is it in the dictionary?"
"could be - if you're reading in the nude and you shut the book too quick!"
got an email this morning saying series 3 dvd out soon. where did i put my list to santa?
"is it in the dictionary?"
"could be - if you're reading in the nude and you shut the book too quick!"
got an email this morning saying series 3 dvd out soon. where did i put my list to santa?
28 October 2003, 11:11 AM
#58
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Rimmer:
"I was a failure in my parent's eyes, I was a failure in my brother's eyes, I was a failure in the eyes of anybody WITH eyes !"
Lister's recipe for 'Shami Kebab Diablo' - like eating molten lava.
"I was a failure in my parent's eyes, I was a failure in my brother's eyes, I was a failure in the eyes of anybody WITH eyes !"
Lister's recipe for 'Shami Kebab Diablo' - like eating molten lava.
04 December 2003, 09:46 AM
#59
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Apologies for raking up old posts but couldn't resist:
RIMMER: Hmm. Marvellous. (Crosses over to a small, angular box near the door.) Now this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, it's bold, stark lines... pray, what do you call it?
LEGION: The light switch.
and...
RIMMER: If there is one thing I can't stand it's crazy people.
LISTER: Well we've passed the test, Rimmer. You can let us out.
RIMMER: I can't let you out.
LISTER: Why not?
RIMMER: Because the King of the Potato People won't let me. I begged him. I got down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here for ten years.
CAT: Could we see him?
RIMMER: See who?
CAT: The King.
RIMMER: Do you have a magic carpet?
LISTER: Yeah, a little three-seater.
RIMMER: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?!
RIMMER: Hmm. Marvellous. (Crosses over to a small, angular box near the door.) Now this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, it's bold, stark lines... pray, what do you call it?
LEGION: The light switch.
and...
RIMMER: If there is one thing I can't stand it's crazy people.
LISTER: Well we've passed the test, Rimmer. You can let us out.
RIMMER: I can't let you out.
LISTER: Why not?
RIMMER: Because the King of the Potato People won't let me. I begged him. I got down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here for ten years.
CAT: Could we see him?
RIMMER: See who?
CAT: The King.
RIMMER: Do you have a magic carpet?
LISTER: Yeah, a little three-seater.
RIMMER: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?!
04 December 2003, 09:56 AM
#60
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There was another great thread on here with quote but i cannot find it for the life of me.
Dwarf along with Father Ted and Blackadder are some of my favotite comedy.
Have a look at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/reddwarf/factbox/index.shtml
Smoke me a kipper..............
Dwarf along with Father Ted and Blackadder are some of my favotite comedy.
Have a look at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/reddwarf/factbox/index.shtml
Smoke me a kipper..............