hobo

i thought about that aswell!

you`ve been had by krytie TV!

 

Oh yeah...

Kochanski exclaims 'whats that?' as something scurries under her bunk.

'Nothing to worry about maam', exclaims Kryten ' that's just Archi, my *****'

 

Archie - the subject in the double polaroid.

Lister "What have we got left to eat?"

Rimmer "A Pot noodle and a tin of dog food"

Lister "Well its obvious what gets eaten last then. I cant stand pot noodle."

[Edited by messiah - 10/16/2003 2:32:21 PM]

 

lister: "when i`m in the mens toilets rimmer i try not to look around you know what i`m sayin? its like playing golf, you keep your head down keep your eye on the ball and try not to veer off to the side!"

 

rimmer: "Kryten! unpack rachel and get out my puncture repair kit...I`M ALIVE!!!"

 

Get that straw out of my ear!!

Pete Tranter's Sister "I know what you want - You want to squeeze my buttocks together to make one juicy giant peach."

 

What a turn up for the books...... Jed Exodus starts a thread and replies and the thread doesn't die!!!!! The shape of things to come?! LOL

 

CAT:
hey i've had a good day today, i've eaten 6 times, i've
slept 6 times and made a lot of things mine. TOMORROW I'M
GONNA SEE IF I CANT HAVE SEX WITH SOMETHING!!!

Classic

 

Have got season 1 and 2 on DVD, classic, need 3. Glad the ones on DVD are NOT the 'remastered' versions as they did overdo some parts.

So, who was the best Kochanski? Miss Grogan or Miss Annet?

 

Lister:

"....it makes about as much sense as putting your wedding tackle in the open mouth of a lion and flicking his love spuds with a wet tea towel...."

can't remember why he siad it but it had me in stitches.....

[Edited by dteagles - 10/16/2003 7:43:22 PM]

 

Kryton: Mum, I never had a mum....
Rimmer: You can have mine, everyone else has...

Quality stuff

 

Miss Grogan for me...

"I'm gonna eat you little fishy..."

 

lister and rimmer getting beat up after the actual beating took place

 

"Too slow Chicken Marengo"

I use this phrase all the time

 

And who could forget:

LISTER: Where is everybody, Hol?
HOLLY: They're dead, Dave.
LISTER: Who is?
HOLLY: Everybody, Dave.
LISTER: What, Captain Hollister?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Todhunter?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Selby?
HOLLY: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.

LISTER is still trying to understand what HOLLY is saying.

LISTER: Petersen isn't, is he?
HOLLY: Everybody is *dead*, Dave.
LISTER: Not Chen?
HOLLY: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: Rimmer?
HOLLY: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
LISTER: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?

 

The Chicken Marengo scene

Rimmer telling the Cat that Listers fainted and the Cat keeps getting up then sitting back down.

One of those you have to watch I'm afraid. Sounds crap written down...

 

"I'm not feeling myself - I'm having a womans period."

 

Not Red Dwarf, but Cat now in The Crouches (Tues BBC1 10:35)

"Vicars like m!nge"

 

when is it due to be released?

 

When your real name is infact "Dave Lister" (Yes honest) I read these threads and think everyone is talking about me.....

Enough to give a Lister a complex I tell ya..!!!!!

Listy

 

They all reach melancholy drunkeness

Kryten or Lister (cant remember haven't seen it for a while) : Mum.........i never had a mum

Rimmer : well you can all have mine, everyone else did!


The bit where Cat and Lister are playing scrabble

Lister: 'Josizqe'????? (or whatever the word was)

Cat : its a cat word

 

oops just read the top of the page, sorry 'scooby drew' you already posted the mum conversation


I'm gonna have to dig out my old vids, i have the whole lot somewhere

 

"jozxyqk - it's the sound you make when you catch your sexual organs in something."

"is it in the dictionary?"

"could be - if you're reading in the nude and you shut the book too quick!"

got an email this morning saying series 3 dvd out soon. where did i put my list to santa?

 

lol that was it! thank you messiah my memory wasn't too good on the rest of the sequence


hehehe got to watch it again

 

The Cat "What is it?" scene when they find the stasis leak.

 

Rimmer:

"I was a failure in my parent's eyes, I was a failure in my brother's eyes, I was a failure in the eyes of anybody WITH eyes !"

Lister's recipe for 'Shami Kebab Diablo' - like eating molten lava.

 

Apologies for raking up old posts but couldn't resist:

RIMMER: Hmm. Marvellous. (Crosses over to a small, angular box near the door.) Now this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, it's bold, stark lines... pray, what do you call it?

LEGION: The light switch.

and...

RIMMER: If there is one thing I can't stand it's crazy people.
LISTER: Well we've passed the test, Rimmer. You can let us out.
RIMMER: I can't let you out.
LISTER: Why not?
RIMMER: Because the King of the Potato People won't let me. I begged him. I got down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here for ten years.
CAT: Could we see him?
RIMMER: See who?
CAT: The King.
RIMMER: Do you have a magic carpet?
LISTER: Yeah, a little three-seater.
RIMMER: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?!

 

There was another great thread on here with quote but i cannot find it for the life of me.

Dwarf along with Father Ted and Blackadder are some of my favotite comedy.

Have a look at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/reddwarf/factbox/index.shtml

Smoke me a kipper..............