While I was driving down the A90 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.


The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher??
"And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in,
I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied,
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: £105.00

Court costs: £45.00

Look on copper's face ... Priceless.........



p.s. not really caught speeding but thought this was pretty funny.
_________________

 

Question: Whats got four legs and an ar#ehole half way up its back?


Answer : A Police horse.


Since we were on the subject........

HI SOOB

 

Good and funny story m8....but at the end of the day you shouldn't take the **** out of the coppers when they stop you,it only makes things worse.
How many points did you get?

 

at wee davie

 

none it was only a joke!

 

Ok just got home from the pub after a big sesh didnt read all what Cairan said doe

 

weedavie, Glenisla is that as in Glenisla Crt ??????? if so I used to stay there, PM me if you don't want to say on a public BBS

John.

 

New to Scoob...Where is it you used to stay? I live on farm in Glenisla about 11 miles from The town of Alyth Is that the same Glenisla that you stayed in? if so I should know you.

 

OOpppss fraid not m8, totally wrong place...

John.

 

Nay bother m8