BillyHeadcase

Yeah those damn voices...always shouting, always pointing the blame, I'm with my puffy friend on that one.

DavidG

so banshi you just ... ahem ... <I>happened to have</I> a 2ft extension bar with you in the car?

(Hey, Simon - spellchecker ... nice! Now there are no excuses!)

camk

I always like the action for the punters who pull out on you or swerve in in traffic, then treat you like your actually invisible, don't look in mirror and look down as you overtake them. Remind me of my 3 year old daughter after she's been told off.

Rebecca

I think I've got the answer to commuter road rage

I don't commute in my car, I take the bus and then if you're lucky you can travel quite quickly in the bus lanes unless some f***er in a car doesn't think it's a bus and park in it.

After all not many cars would argue with a London bus (the drivers are mad)

BillyHeadcase

Thats not road rage...it's road sulking

Bajie

I'm encountering numerous fools on the M25.
Ranting and raving is all a bit boring .
Now, if someone gives me the finger, I hold up four fingers.
Careful getting out of your cars and giving it large, the police are after road ragers in a big way so the book will be thrown at you.
But as they've all been replaced by Gatso's it shouldn't be too much of a problem

BillyHeadcase

Rebecca, have you ever encountered bus rage?

Some tool cuts you up as you go to walk on the bus, so you reach in his (or hers) pants from behind and give em a HUGE melvin! Then eat their hair.

DavidBrown

I usually curse people, but rarely gesticulate (so as not to make matters worse). Last thing you want is to make a dizzy driver even more dangerous by having them worried, looking in their rearview all the time to see if you're going to kill them.

As for people mad at me.. it happens, that's life, we all make mistakes.. I usually make apologetic movement/expressions and let them calm down.

I'd never get out of the car and rant, or stand up to someone mad with me.. You just don't know who's mad enough to stab you. It's just not worth it on the grand scale of things.

That's my 2p

Oz

I am really beginning to get fed up with the amount of hassle involved in a simple drive to work...this morning being a typical example...

Coming around island at about 35mph - the junction to the left has a clear view of the road I have joined the island from and yet, for some reason, the **** in a Merc estate decides to pull out right in front of me...

I give him the horn. He flicks the Vs at me in the mirror. I flash the lights and he slams the brakes on in front of me and stops.

We're on a dual carriageway so I just pull around him...lights 400 yards ahead are on red. As I stop at them, he screeches up behind me, jumps out the car and then proceeds to scream through the window (in various expletives) that he did nothing wrong, I'm an idiot and would I like to step out of the car and sort this out, etc. (all of this at a set of traffic lights on a dual carriageway).

I ignored him. I thought about getting out the car but then common sense told me that if he was mad enough to behave like this, he's be mad enough to carry a knife. It's just left me p*ssed off and angry...

Ok, rant over. Sorry

robski

this is exactly why we should be able to have those flame thrower thingys that they have in south africa, I mean who would approach a car like that if they thought they may get torched!?

robski

Dazzler

Funnily enough I had a bit this morning, travelling into work, albeit a very minor incident.
A young lady in a Merc decided that she had right of way even though her side of the road was blocked by parked cars.
When she discovered it was going to be a very tight squeeze and she'd have to slow down she let loose with a string of expletives and gave me the t*sser hand motion.
Maybe I should have taken her up on the offer??

BillyHeadcase

I love road rage!
I was driving home last week when. Dual carriage way chokka with traffic but the left lane clear and filtering off. Ideal as I want to go left. Anyway, some gob****e pulls out across my lane even though he cant go any further, I drive up, smile politely and expect him to move back, he does'nt, infact he mouths "pish off". So here is where road rage is great.....I jump out screaming like a mad man run up to his car making sure i'm too quick for him to get out, shout at him as loudly as I can whilst booting his door in and gobbing on his window (that bit I am ashamed about). He moves back I get home in time for the simpsons.....nice. In hind site though I'm glad he didnt get out and boot **** out of me cos I cant fight.

RichS

Christ Billy!

You didn't choose your BBS name lightly did you?

Hope I never bump into you on the road...

Rich

AWD

errr. ok Billy....

About the medication....

Double the current dosage.

Darren Thompson

I live near Billy and since they have put the dual c way in the traffic were we live is sh*t, I also use the Billy approach as most of the time it's some rich tosser who thinks they own the whole of the road. It must be a Madchester thing.

Darren.

NickF

Unless it's thyroxin ... in which case, halve it!

Nick

BillyHeadcase

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fnill wibble nonny KILL KILL KILL!
The voices tell me to do it!

BTW. My name is Danny....My sister used so say things like your a billy headcase (raplacing the word bloody with billy cos she's polite like).
Anyone remember that great 'Who' song with the lyrics "my name is bill and i'm a headcase"....tremendous.

Sorry for the late reply, its not easy typing with my nose....FREE MY ARMS YOU WHITE COATED SATANS!!!!!!! BLEEEEEEEE!!!!!

banshi

Oz I think you are right on all points. The commuter run is just becoming crazy.

A few months ago I had a problem in merging traffic. 500 yards from the point where three lanes of motorway become two I indicated to pull into a gap. This was immediately closed by an Escort so I accelerated into a space one car in front, easy manoeuvre with NO danger.

This obviously infuriated chummy who jumped out and ran down towards me, he was left stranded when the queue moved. He caught up later in moving traffic gesticulating and swerving his car towards mine, as we stopped again his drivers door opened but the cars began to move off. We had now travelled for 15 or 20 minutes, were approaching another congested area and this lunatic was still on inches of my tail.

When the traffic halted again, I grabbed a 2 ft extension bar from beside the seat and swinging it walked purposefully towards him doing my best to impersonate Vinny Jones. At five eight, eleven stone and mid forties this was possibly a little optimistic. I "advised" him his day would be better spent at work than in hospital. I got back to my car thankful that he never got out and pleased he dropped back in the traffic.

I know how you feel it ruined the whole day, then for three months I wondered if he would appear in my rear view mirror carrying a baseball bat

B

BTW Billy you didn't previously run a Red Escort on the 62 by any chance

BillyHeadcase

These stories of lunacy and violance are toptastic mate.....keep em comming.
A few years ago and me with a black capri 2.8i...sssshhhhhh..I half pulled out on a lorry but I knew he was there I was just moving forward...fair enough he thought I was going to go, but the t!twonk started honking and screaming at me...so I pull out behind him get to a clear section of road, overtake and give him the finger through my sunroof.....well **** me, the next turn and we hit traffic where they put temporary lights over night. So I thought about doing one of 3 things:-

1. stay in the car and ignore his rantings (a bit lame)
2. stay in the car and continue with the finger but with the protection of glass between us (not a good idea cos he could boot my door and I was car proud)
or option 3 which is what I did....again jump out acting all psycho, so I do this, he jumps out of his rig.....the silly ******'s about 4' tall and 7 stone wet through....he shat himself cos I aint small.....Another lucky escape phew!!!!

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

More bloody road-rage takes place inside my car than out of it

Something (anything ) happens outside the car & its <I>MY FAULT</I>

I can be 150% innocent & I still get the blame! Like when someone deserves a small hoot for something like not indicating as they pull out, I get shouted at for being agressive!

I am normally a very mellow person

DrEvil

Anyone know of a bus that goes from Guildford to Theale!?

I particularly enjoy it when I get stuck behind two lorries on the A340 and have some moron in a pug 205 2inches from my rear the whole way... ggrrr...

BillyHeadcase

My sister was tremendous at road rage....especially when I was driving, she would beep my horn at other drivers. As I had to explain to her "stop it bitch, it aint you they're gonna get out and hit".

mattski

I had an incident in Kenilworth with some idiot in a merc. In Kenilworth there is a really weird bit of road near the town centre, basically you follow the round around to the right (90 degree bend) but there is a road on the bend on the left. Of course traffic going the opposite way have to give way if they are turning right.

Anyway, I was just pottering along around this bend and some tw*t in a merc decided he didn't need to indicate or stop. The next bit basically resulted in both of us slamming our brakes on.

The thing that really got was that he just looked at me with complete distain, must have been his *BIG* merc shoved up his *** giving him the superiority complex. He then proceeded to drive in front of me!

That was it, reverse gear going up the road after him. I eventually stopped, my brother calmed me down... roads are getting bad!

Had an incident with a ******** in an old granada the other day but that's a different story.

DavidBrown

I reckon Billy's relationship with his sister is more sinister than it seems.. if you look at the last posting.

I think he's a schizo and his "sister" is his nasty alter ego.

BillyHeadcase

Mattski....Tell us the Granada Story.

David...the words "Nail", "you", "on", "hit" and "the" spring to mind.

Call me Emma.

BillyHeadcase

and "head"...oops

Mulder

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by BillyHeadcase:
<B>I love road rage!
I was driving home last week when. Dual carriage way chokka with traffic but the left lane clear and filtering off. Ideal as I want to go left. Anyway, some gob****e pulls out across my lane even though he cant go any further, I drive up, smile politely and expect him to move back, he does'nt, infact he mouths "pish off". So here is where road rage is great.....I jump out screaming like a mad man run up to his car making sure i'm too quick for him to get out, shout at him as loudly as I can whilst booting his door in and gobbing on his window (that bit I am ashamed about). He moves back I get home in time for the simpsons.....nice. In hind site though I'm glad he didnt get out and boot **** out of me cos I cant fight.[/quote]

Erm, if you had done that to me, I would have kicked the crap out of you.

blubs

An easy way out of this;

When you are seventeen, start to play rugby. Eat and drink too much and get involved in as much fracas on pitch as the referee allows (or sees).

Give up rubgy in mid-twenties but continue eating and drinking (but not training).

Result;

Aged 34, 6'3 eighteen stone with a face that King Kong has used for a trampoline.

Doesn't matter if you are a big soft chump (like me). Just the act of unfolding yourself out of the wife's Ka is usually enough to deter any aggressive behaviour.

blubs

very big, and not very hard

BillyHeadcase

hehehehehe. Mulder, you know the bit where I say I cant fight? I was joking, I can.....And no you would'nt.

Tim W

iTrader: (1)

Hey Blubs...that's what I did except I escaped facial injuries...well ones that you can see...

A few years back I was still playing (Loose head prop, 6ft - 15 stone) when I was driving a few mates about in my Mini (aged 17) unbeknownst to me my rear passengers were geticulating wildly at White Van man behind me (I'd blown him away at a roundabout). We stopped in some traffic and suddenly my door opened...angry ranting and raving chap...looks at me virtually sitting on the back seat to drive the thing, suddenly stops ranting and raving...appologises and rushes back to the safety of his van...oh how we laughed

A few weeks back I had someone pull out in front of me on a round about, I had to brake so I hit the horn in protest. Well blow me, he then indicated left pulled to the side of the road waving me past mothing sorry ! I felt really guilty...