Cheesed Off With USA Elections and French BSE
29 November 2000, 12:44 AM
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Hi Jon
I'm fine and just planning this mega tour of the Uk. Confirmed stop offs are in Glouscstershire, mahbe Cheshire, Cumbria, Edinburgh, possibly Aberdeen area, Teeside maybe, Hull (your neck o the woods) and good old London.
Maybe, just maybe I'll be back in time for Grimbo.
I'm fine and just planning this mega tour of the Uk. Confirmed stop offs are in Glouscstershire, mahbe Cheshire, Cumbria, Edinburgh, possibly Aberdeen area, Teeside maybe, Hull (your neck o the woods) and good old London.
Maybe, just maybe I'll be back in time for Grimbo.
I'm sure the nationalities can be changed around a bit, to make it more appropriate in Scotand 
29 November 2000, 11:39 AM
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Here's How to Cure the French BSE Crisis:An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
I will give you each one wish, says the Genie.
The American says, I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America.
With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM'-the land in America was forever made fertile for farming.
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country.
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF'-there was a huge wall around France.
The Englishman asks, I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.
The Genie explains, Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.
The Englishman says, Fine ! Then fill it up with water.
Now heres About The USA Election Campaign:
At a White House press conference today, Mrs Tipper Gore announced that she is now going onto the Presidential Trail i support of her husband, Vice President Al Gore, to help argue against the irregularities in Florida.
"To prepare myself" she said, "I have shaved off all my pubic hair. From now on and until the election results are confirmed, I shall sit on the stage with the Vice President, and will have my legs apart without wearing any knickers".
"Whats the message?" gasped astonished reportewrs at the news of this somewhat rather brash announcement.
"Read my LIPS: NO MORE BUSH!"
Sorry everbody couldnt resist these. Sorry if I have offended anyone...ouch!
I will give you each one wish, says the Genie.
The American says, I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America.
With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM'-the land in America was forever made fertile for farming.
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country.
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF'-there was a huge wall around France.
The Englishman asks, I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.
The Genie explains, Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.
The Englishman says, Fine ! Then fill it up with water.
Now heres About The USA Election Campaign:
At a White House press conference today, Mrs Tipper Gore announced that she is now going onto the Presidential Trail i support of her husband, Vice President Al Gore, to help argue against the irregularities in Florida.
"To prepare myself" she said, "I have shaved off all my pubic hair. From now on and until the election results are confirmed, I shall sit on the stage with the Vice President, and will have my legs apart without wearing any knickers".
"Whats the message?" gasped astonished reportewrs at the news of this somewhat rather brash announcement.
"Read my LIPS: NO MORE BUSH!"
Sorry everbody couldnt resist these. Sorry if I have offended anyone...ouch!
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