Now THIS made me smile...
04 September 2006, 04:22 PM
#1
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Now THIS made me smile...
HOW TO TREAT A LADY
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better."
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
(Or, if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "You’d better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning.
This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck you" and grab the other girls ***.
Girls love competition.
7. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick."
Women love those special nicknames.
8. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
9. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt and say "No, she’s not hungry." Make her watch you eat.
Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
10. Look her in the eyes, smile and then clock her one.
Girls love a spontaneous guy.
11. When it's raining keep asking her if she’s crying. She'll say "No, its just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stop crying you baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.
12. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.
13. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that is important is that she keeps you happy.
Your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
14. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a rubbish-collection day, leave the dustbin open and have the present visibly sticking out of the bin.
Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
Shamelessly copied from another source...
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better."
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
(Or, if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "You’d better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning.
This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck you" and grab the other girls ***.
Girls love competition.
7. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick."
Women love those special nicknames.
8. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
9. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt and say "No, she’s not hungry." Make her watch you eat.
Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
10. Look her in the eyes, smile and then clock her one.
Girls love a spontaneous guy.
11. When it's raining keep asking her if she’s crying. She'll say "No, its just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stop crying you baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.
12. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.
13. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that is important is that she keeps you happy.
Your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
14. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a rubbish-collection day, leave the dustbin open and have the present visibly sticking out of the bin.
Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
Shamelessly copied from another source...
04 September 2006, 06:03 PM
#2
Scooby Regular
LOL!! 
Anybody who follows this advice deserves to be on their own!!
Wifey and I always take the p1ss out of each other, the more outrageously the better usually (one time we were on holiday, and a couple we met up with thought we were on a "make or break" holiday!!) - some of this works in a different context!!
DAn
Anybody who follows this advice deserves to be on their own!! Wifey and I always take the p1ss out of each other, the more outrageously the better usually (one time we were on holiday, and a couple we met up with thought we were on a "make or break" holiday!!
) - some of this works in a different context!! DAn
04 September 2006, 06:10 PM
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Fancy trying #3 & 6:
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck you" and grab the other girls ***.
Girls love competition.
I'll see how i get on...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Only joking love, if you get to read my SN history
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck you" and grab the other girls ***.
Girls love competition.
I'll see how i get on...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Only joking love, if you get to read my SN history
04 September 2006, 08:30 PM
#5
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Did you hear that on the Radio today, chat up lines?
This bloke tells the girl he has a "Magic Watch" if he listens to the watch, it will reveal secrets about the girl.
Go on, what does it say about me??
He sticks the watch to his ear and, makes a great play of listening to it and nodding seriously.
The " Magic Watch" says you are not wearing any Underwear!
"How dare you she shrieks, I certainly am!"
He sticks the watch to his ear and says, "Sorry I forgot, it's 30 minutes slow!"
Alan MaC
This bloke tells the girl he has a "Magic Watch" if he listens to the watch, it will reveal secrets about the girl.
Go on, what does it say about me??
He sticks the watch to his ear and, makes a great play of listening to it and nodding seriously.
The " Magic Watch" says you are not wearing any Underwear!
"How dare you she shrieks, I certainly am!"
He sticks the watch to his ear and says, "Sorry I forgot, it's 30 minutes slow!"
Alan MaC
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