Andrew Timmins

What is the funniest thing said to you about your car? Here are a couple said about my Impreza Turbo:

"I suppose, on paper its faster than my 1.6 Tigra"

Plus this amusing conversation:
"What engine is it?"
"Two litre turbo."
"Fast then!"
"Oh yes"
"And economical being a diesel."

Please share your favourites with the rest of us.

Paul Wilson

LOL

I had
"oh rear diff then?"
"Yep"
"so they're rear wheel drive then"
"Nope"

Beef

I know what you mean. Take this shining example of baseball cap boy:

"What engine has it got then?"
"3.0 Turbo" (Can't you ****ing read, it's on the back. No probably not.)
"Yeah, but it's a heavy car though, innit?"
"Oh, about 1600 kilos"
"So..." (pauses) "I'd probably be able to keep up with you then." (Excuse me)
"Er, what do you own again?"
"An XR3i. I've lowered it, and put a filter and exhaust on it y'see. Actually, it's rear-drive, ain't it?"
(Still stunned by this revelation of stupidity) "Yeeessss"
"Ah, front-drive you see. I'd probably 'ave you around the corners 'en. Easier to control. You'd spin if you went too fast"

Funnily enough I left about now.

Reminds me of another time when some XR2 driving idiot asked my mate if he fancied a race. When my mate responded "What engine have you got then?", the response was "Well, it don't really matter does it." My mate drives a 1959 Ford Popular. With a 1969, 5 litre, 300bhp, V8 out of a Mustang.

RussP

My Girlfriend is delighted with my new Scooby. Every time I stop, fuel up or get out of the thing, I end up having a conversation with someone about it.

It is, she tells me, "Brilliant - it really attracts the blokes!"

Fantastic. All the girls say is "What a nice colour!" Should keep me out of trouble.

chrisp

I use to get :

"Subaru, what makes that then ? "

With SSback box on

"I think your exhaust is blowing mate !"

and

"Do you need all that stuff on the bonnet"

Most females say

"Eh these seats are nice and comfy "

and my mum after a brief prod of the loud pedal and still well under the speed limit.

"Just because it can do 200 mile an hour doesnt mean you have too !!!"

cheers

chrisp

Penni Whitehead

... shouldn't smell of petrol if it has a Catholic Converter....

Louise my ex-assistant...

Paul Wilson

From when my Dad had a job in a garage in the 60's
"My boyfriend said I needed some of those new Radio Tyres"


Paul (working on a trunk monkey)

Alan

At the London Motorshow the girl at the EVO stand put my Scooby down as a Subaru Pretzel?

Neil Micklethwaite

Few comments from the 'gang' out side the local news agent.

"Do a wheel spin then mate"

"You should lower that mate, it would make it handle loads better"

"Has it got a dump valve ?"

blubs

Overhead at the local papershop/single venue stage;

1st Pondfloater: " Yeh but look, it's only got the turbo wheels and bodykit put on after, it's not an original one"

2nd Pondfloater: "How do you know that then?"

1st Pondfloater: "All the original Subaru Turbo's were blue with gold wheels as they are all ex Colin McRae rally cars" (I wish).

Alan

what's the bee sting on the bonnet?

Mike Rainbird

The one and only time I was stopped by the feds in the Cossie, was at 11.30 at night. It was foggy so I had my front fog lights on. However, when we got back into the town, the fog had not been able to settle there, but I had left them on (genuinely absent mindedly!). Spotted a Fiesta cop car coming in the opposite direction as I left a round-a-bout. I saw that he suddenly sped up and checked in mirror to see if he went all the way round the round-a-bout to follow me. Sure enough he did, so I sat dead on 30mph waiting for the blue lights to come on, which they didn't for over half a mile (I think he was hoping that I hadn't spotted him). Anyway the lights came on and I pulled over straight away (as I was waiting for them to do so) and I think that caught them by surprise. Anyway in those days I had a rediculously small front number plate (even smaller than it is now!) and I thought that that was what they were pulling me over for. So, I buzz the window down and one of them comes over while the other is checking ALL over the car from front to rear.

"Do you know why we've stopped you Sir?"
(Yeh, I thought - the number plate). "No"
"What are the weather conditions?"
(Straight away it clicked) "Ah, my fog lights - well it is foggy outside the city" I said as I switched them off.
"You do realise that they dazzle other road users and it is an on the spot fine of £20"
"Sorry, just forgot to turn them off when we got into the city".
"Okay, but try to remember for next time"
It was then that I realised that I was going to get off scot free that he came out with the clanger.
"Is it a real one then?"
I nearly choked! (I wanted to choke him - huge rumbling exhaust, 17" wheels, massive disc brakes all round, leather Recaro interior and he asks if it's a REAL one).
Dumbfounded, all I could respond with was "Yes".
Anyway they got back into there car and as I pulled away I blipped the throttle while slipping the clutch to make as much noise as possible (being carefull not to let the wheels spin!), with the girlfriend going mental "they'll pull you over again". I just had to prove to them it was real!

The other ones (several of these!); "Hey, mate, your exhaust is on fire!" (These are usually said in an excited out of breath voice, as they have ran from their car to tell you when you have stopped at a set of traffic lights!).

And passengers who have never been in it before (usually with white knuckles holding onto both the grab rail and seat). "F*cking hell!"
LOL
Mike

Maxwell Straker

Blubs and Geezer will remember this one, overheard at local road rally about 12 years ago.

Picture the scene.......100ish spectators at Groes Hairpin near St Asaph for all you Welsh Boys (and girls). Mark II Essie goes past and conversation ensues between two pimply faced youths.

First Youth - What was that?
Second Youth - That was the Ford 6R4, it can do 0-100-0 in 2 seconds!!

ptholt

It must be something about cossie's mike, I helped a friend of mine rebuild/repair a stolen recovered e plate (that nice blue colour) 2wd saphire.

Once finished he let me drive it once night after we'd been out to brighton (methinks the real reason was he wanted to drink, whereas im tee total - always popular on nights out).

We got stopped in crawley at a roadside check, check vehicle over etc.
They asked to me to stop the car while they inspected it, so i turned it off, they went round it found nothing wrong and said we could leave.

I had however forgotten all about the new scorpion immobiliser he'd had installed and couldnt get the thing started amid a wash of flashing indicators/sirens going off.

Police lady walks back over 'having trouble sir ?'
'er yeah having a few problems with alarm'
'would both of you care to step out the car'
had to wait an extra 5 or 10 mins while they confirmed that the car was my mates and we were who we said we were.
They did ask if the car was mine, i said no it was my friends, fortunately they didnt ask if i was insured on it as i wasnt sure myself !

JOHN BRODERICK

"scooby who"

elondan

An old chap approached my brother and asked him: "Is this an Impreziia?"
"yes" he replied
"it's a shame you could have gotten a Chevy Cavalier"
and an Mazda 323 1.8 driver who passed me while I was doing 75 mph replied when I told him at the stoplight he had no rearend lights
"yes but I passed you back there"
soooooo????

MarkO

I was pulled over (and ticketed) by a policeman on the M3 near Southampton. After he'd nicked me, he was asking about the car (which I'd only had 2 months, so was pleased to tell him about).

He said "They're good for 150, aren't they - how fast have you had it?".

Surprisingly enough I told him I'd maxxed out at 70mph as I'd not had the car on the track......

Ian Cook

I was once asked how they managed to shoe horn a V8 into it

Paul Wilson

Your EX-assistant, Penni?
Got a new one then

ptholt

Not sure if its related, but my other half insisted on me installing the spare baby seat in the back of mine and carrying the spare pram in the boot even though its not the family run around..........

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Kev

When I first showed my old man under the bonnet and showed him a flat 4 cyl engine his relpy was "oh I don't know ... more to go wrong" and "why did'nt I get a diesel one" and another "you don't drive off-road so why did I buy a 4x4" !!!

you just can't tell 'em

K

Mark Barrett

Biggest ego deflation:

We have an Australian PA at work.

All decided to go to a pub for lunch and she asked if she could come in my car with my (yippee!!) as she had heard the lads in the office talking about my cool new car.

Got to the car park to the comment of: "God, it's only a Subaru, back home all the farmers drive these!!"

Didn't enjoy lunch quite as much!!!

spence

One thing you always get with the bikes is people coming up to talk to you when you are taking you lid off or what ever...

Favourites..

"That's a big one isn't it?"

A: "Well no not really it's only a 750" ... result, confusion.

"Nice Bike mate, bet you would have loved a Harley."

A: "Er no, if I had wanted a Harley I would have bought one... mate."

"I had a mate who had a bike years ago.... yeah it was a red one."

A: "EH...?"

Diablo

Worst I've had were:

"Looks just like a Ford Escort"
"Is it a diesel then?"
"Must have a small ***** driving a car like that"
"Still got your licence then??"
"Think you need a new exhaust"

Most embarrassing:

Q -"What are the vents on the bonnet then?"
A - "errr decoration????"

hahaha....poxy car.

D.

Imran

I like this thread.......

"Has this got traction control?"

"Thank God you didn't go for the gold wheels?"

"How do you like your Impreza?" says man on moped in London traffic.
"Very nice indeed thanks" says chuffed newish owner.
"Yes they are good, I've got an STi5" says man on moped.


"I don't believe it's yours, prove it, unlock it"

"Subaaaru, what's that then?"

"looks quite sporty, what is it?" says recovery truck man

"Scooby? what's that? I thought you were getting a Subaaaru Pretza?"

"Can I take a picture please?" says spotty teenager at petrol station

"Yes, if I had this car I would lose my liscence in seconds!"

"Now, what what was the point in that?" says wife after swift manouvre to show Renault 19 man that technology has moved on since 1992!

"I feel ill" says wife after every single journey, unless I lay off the loud pedal alltogether, or unless I leave her at home (sometimes the best option)

"One minute you were in front of me, the next, you were a distant sight" says wife following in her VW Scirocco.

But most common of all......."Subaru, what's that then?"

Imran

Stupot

"....oh yeah, Hyundai Impreza.....thats got a flat ford engine in it hasnt it?" I know I know, I should have punched him.

Stupot

Stupot

"....oh yeah, Hyundai Impreza.....thats got a flat ford engine in it hasnt it?" I know I know, I should have punched him.

Stupot

Neil Smalley

I dunno about odd or funny comments but I've just got a 20 quid discount on some new tyres for my wifes car after I let gave the guy in the tyre place a quick blast up and down a dual carriageway in my Impreza. Result! Mind you he was probably counting the days until I call him up for some new Bridgestones

Thinking about it. the comments that did make me smile the most was from my IAM observer. I'd just come from a 40 and into a 60. With the car in 4th I gently squeezed the throttle and (to me) softly went to 60. After the run the observer said 'You were a little enthusasitic back there but i'll let you off because you wanted to show me the car!!!!' The turbo never had chance to kick in!

Before that we'd been talking about the car and he said "Subaru's they're quite powerful are'nt they?"

"Reasonably," I replied.

"Yes they've got about 150BHP have'nt they?
that's a lot for such a small car!"

"About that," I replied, tongue firmly in cheek. About is such an subjective term...

DanTheMan

Just this last weekend my Mate james and me we crouching down behind the car looking at the new mudflaps that I had fitted when a old bloke and his missus pulled up and he leans out of the drivers window "youre right" he says "I saw a rat run up there earlier too" pointing to the Trust exhaust....

And when I sold my Pug in the summer the lads buying it went like this
me: "£1900"
them:"£1800"
me:"£1975"
them"£1925"
me"£1975 or someone else buys the car"
them:"£1975 but you must drive us round the block in the scoob outside"
me:"ok"