well it was my little girls 2nd birthday on sunday, so we went to knowsley safari park. yup you guesed it. i now need a new sun roof seal cos one of the buggers bit a chunk off. and some way of getting teeth marks off my intercooler vent and washer jets.

any ideas?

oh well... suppose it is my 'family' car.

Simon

 

you should of put peanuts on the car infronts roof the monkeys go mad you get a good show, and the little furry s&*t devils stay off your car

 

This happened to me a couple of years ago when I had a Vectra.
One of the hairy blighters took an interest to the car and especially in sitting on the wing mirror stroking its beef bayonet and showing it’s bollox's to my better half. (I think I have a photo of it somewhere, I will see if I can upload it later)
People in the camper van in front of me thought it was hilarious, unfortunately (for them) a large member of the fairy flock decided to sit on their roof, in turn the occupants of the van decided to feed it crisps through the sun roof.
When the occupants stopped feeding the beast so they could concentrate on my predicament (by this time my monkey had decided to move to the top of the bonnet just in front of the windscreen and take a dump - which I might add took ages to wash off, and the stain it left you would not believe!!!)

Anyway the monkey on the van, disgusted by the sudden lack of food decided to take revenge. It walked along the van roof, jumped off (me thinking oh my god it’s going to jump onto my car) as it fell it grabbed the rear wiper and proceeded to swing quite merrily bending the wiper blade, arm and then the rear panel of the van.
Unfortunately for the van driver, who thought the monkey had jumped off, decided to move on a little further, this incensed the monkey who then stood on the rear bumper yanking the wiper arm totally intent on ripping it off to save with his other trophies collected over the season. The arm wouldn’t come off so the monkey left to pursue easier pray. But the rear panel was well f*cked.

Followed the van all the way back to the car park with his kids laughing and pointing at the dump on my bonnet. Totally oblivious to the damage inflicted by the hairy fellow.
When we got parked up I casually walked over to the driver, who was obviously having a right good old snigger at my dump situation. I then casually commented on the wiper scenario. The guy sprints round to the back of his van see’s the damage and his jaw dropped (like you see on cartoons) classic absolute classic. He starts shouting, kids crying etc etc...

Never been back since, won’t be going either whilst I have the Scooby.

Talk about intelligent, the hairy f*ckers have got it off to a T.

 

LMAO @ tmo

I would never take my car into a monkey enclosure. You hear about this sort of thing all the time..

 

I would have reved it up so that the dump valve went off - would have got rid of them pretty sharpish, then I would have put me foot down, then enjoyed a nice bbq afterwards!

 

my kid is animal crazy so went inthe scoog at the start of the year.. it was fairly quiet so left a Biiiiig gap between me and car in front so that I could drive without stopping past the monkeys.. no problems.. went around a second time and a guy in a metro was totally mobbed by them.. drove by on the outside laughing...

Going again tomorrow so this could be another story...

 

LOL

i remember as a kid my dad saying "lets wet the monkeys" as they sat oh his bonnet...

Wet them it did... so the little *******s

a) Ripped out the water jets from the bonnet with there teeth

b) Removed BOTH windscreen wipers.. damamaging the arms

c) banged dents in the bonnet

Oh how we laughed as dad tried to slam his brakes on to lose the little buggers... only to watch in disbelief as they merely clung on and the cheeky chaps then took a shine to his wing mirror..

He He

Jza

 

LMAO!

Cheeky Monkeys!

 

thing is it's true. And the park warders just stand at the gate and laugh

 

I went last Friday in HER car (Mondeo)i thought it would be good to place grapes on the windscreen by the wipers and hey presto a car full of hairy monkeys,then the usual happened they pissed on the windscreen played with his pork loin whilst sitting on the wing mirror (The kids loved that bit) and then ripped 1 wiper blade off.
I went back later on (Love punishment)and the biggest thing in the enclosure decided to sit on the bonnet (the car dropped 4 inches)the car next to me was pissing themselves until you've guessed it big b#lls decided their car looked better and laid the biggest dump on his rear windscreen.

Ohh how i laughed and the kids wet themselves.

Zippy

 

LOLO great thread !

Your old man sounds a right crack JZA

 

big thanks for making me laugh!

 

Bring on the monkey stories ! BTTT

 

Longleat last year.....sensible enough to take her car, thank god:

Had a few of the little blighters on the roof then got a couple on the bonnet. Now these two were obviously exhibitionists cos before we knew it they started feeling fruity and promptly put on a live sex show. I'm sure they were doing it in time with the car engine ticking over......well they deffo speeded up as I went a bit faster anyway

 

What are you trying to say???!

 

whoaa! just got in from werk to check sn.
so im not the only fool to enter the enclosures then

there was a BIG fella sat on my mirror, my car sank to that side. trouble was my daughter was petrified of him. and also like everyones elses, he was very aroused. ahem.

know where i can get a seal for my sunroof from?

Simon