Scoobynet Alternative Guidelines
25 March 2003, 11:11 AM
#1
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I think we should show people what is REALLY what on here 
Here are a few off the top of my head; feel free to add to them.
The alternative guidelines
Anyone asking a question that has probably been asked five years ago will be directed to SIDC FAQ.
No use of the phrase "the twisties" (e.g. "I would have had him in the twisties") is to be permitted without the copyright symbol.
Anyone posting a joke or photo that has been seen already by more than three members of the BBS will be liable to some reference towards a high performance rally replica being towed out of a frozen lake.
pslewis reserves the right to wind anyone up, and particularly newbies.
Users claiming they are about to buy a Ferrari will be reminded of this by the community until they have actually taken delivery of it.
Female members signing onto the board and making their gender known are to listen carefully to the theme tune from "Jaws" before submitting the message.
...any more?
Here are a few off the top of my head; feel free to add to them.
The alternative guidelines
Anyone asking a question that has probably been asked five years ago will be directed to SIDC FAQ.
No use of the phrase "the twisties" (e.g. "I would have had him in the twisties") is to be permitted without the copyright symbol.
Anyone posting a joke or photo that has been seen already by more than three members of the BBS will be liable to some reference towards a high performance rally replica being towed out of a frozen lake.
pslewis reserves the right to wind anyone up, and particularly newbies.
Users claiming they are about to buy a Ferrari will be reminded of this by the community until they have actually taken delivery of it.
Female members signing onto the board and making their gender known are to listen carefully to the theme tune from "Jaws" before submitting the message.
...any more?
25 March 2003, 01:38 PM
#5
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Anyone signing on with a ridiculously long username that throws out the margins will have it summarily truncated at the Mods discretion
(Whatever happened to John Barnes and his Gloves?)
(Whatever happened to John Barnes and his Gloves?)
25 March 2003, 03:28 PM
#7
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Threads on 'why people don't wave anymore' should be seen at least once a month in General.
Other once a monthers should be:
Price of petrol
Questioning of Optimax RON and how its achieved
Proof of doing 162 mph
My scoob beat (insert faster/slower car here) to which the original poster is flamed by the 'we don't need your sort' types, with the thread finally being calmed down by the wise old 'at the end of the day we all enjoy our cars' members
I'm sure there are others
Other once a monthers should be:
Price of petrol
Questioning of Optimax RON and how its achieved
Proof of doing 162 mph
My scoob beat (insert faster/slower car here) to which the original poster is flamed by the 'we don't need your sort' types, with the thread finally being calmed down by the wise old 'at the end of the day we all enjoy our cars' members
I'm sure there are others
Trending Topics
25 March 2003, 03:36 PM
#8
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Damn, how could I forget about the waving!
I was thinking of "Any dispute or flame war between two scooby owners can be rapidly diverted by the intervention of an RSOC member posting". Risqué, too specific?
I was thinking of "Any dispute or flame war between two scooby owners can be rapidly diverted by the intervention of an RSOC member posting". Risqué, too specific?
25 March 2003, 04:23 PM
#9
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You're also forgetting...
- Adding Koni's will make a Cavalier faster than a Scoob
- There's no grip on my car... That's because you are still running Bridgestone RE010s
- Is the PPP worth it? How much extra bhp will I get?
- Evo vs Scoob - which is better?
- Pepl postin wiv ron spelin wil be verbuly punishd
- What's the best car wax/wash? Who sells Zymol/SwissRoll/whatever?
- All posts saying you had an accident will be replied with equal amounts of sympathy and blame...
- All corners must be claimed without editing the original post
- Any posts with "my mate says..." in should be locked immediately or moved to the RSOC forum
- Dingy shall be auto-notified of any thread containing "Octane booster", "Millers" or "NF"
- All "Why was my thread deleted?" posts shall be automatically locked
- Anyone who used to own a Saxo is not allowed to help in discussions about corners or fuel surge, but frequent references shall be made to him
Any more for any more?
Richard
- Adding Koni's will make a Cavalier faster than a Scoob
- There's no grip on my car... That's because you are still running Bridgestone RE010s
- Is the PPP worth it? How much extra bhp will I get?
- Evo vs Scoob - which is better?
- Pepl postin wiv ron spelin wil be verbuly punishd
- What's the best car wax/wash? Who sells Zymol/SwissRoll/whatever?
- All posts saying you had an accident will be replied with equal amounts of sympathy and blame...
- All corners must be claimed without editing the original post
- Any posts with "my mate says..." in should be locked immediately or moved to the RSOC forum
- Dingy shall be auto-notified of any thread containing "Octane booster", "Millers" or "NF"
- All "Why was my thread deleted?" posts shall be automatically locked
- Anyone who used to own a Saxo is not allowed to help in discussions about corners or fuel surge, but frequent references shall be made to him
Any more for any more?
Richard
25 March 2003, 04:42 PM
#11
Scooby Regular
But Richard 
If you take all of that out then what have we got left
Thought that was scoobynet
PS Did I tell you about my race at the weekend with a merc SL500 and a Carrera 4
If you take all of that out then what have we got left
Thought that was scoobynet
PS Did I tell you about my race at the weekend with a merc SL500 and a Carrera 4
25 March 2003, 04:46 PM
#12
LOL
this is a classic
How about...
- Mis-spelling your name as "webamster" will result in a torrent of deserved abuse!
- The entire concepts and practices of scoobynet can be altered at the whim of any individual member as they see fit, regardless of what the rest of the community wants.
this is a classic
How about...
- Mis-spelling your name as "webamster" will result in a torrent of deserved abuse!
- The entire concepts and practices of scoobynet can be altered at the whim of any individual member as they see fit, regardless of what the rest of the community wants.
25 March 2003, 05:10 PM
#17
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"Anyone asking after the Scoobynews CD will get a default reply promising it is only a couple of months from being finished"
This rule shall apply from year 2000 until further notice. A review of this rule is scheduled for January 2010 at which point the management reserves the right to replace the word months with the word years
This rule shall apply from year 2000 until further notice. A review of this rule is scheduled for January 2010 at which point the management reserves the right to replace the word months with the word years
25 March 2003, 07:19 PM
#19
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LOL
A few more:
- Is supermarket fuel ok for my car? (And variants, like 95RON on a P1 etc)
- Stef/PTMW/Harj/random other old-timers will not answer threads asking where they are
- "My scooby is sick
Sympathy please!"
- And threads on the second hand value of EU imports will be answered unsympathetically by Pete Lewis
- People who've just sold their car will post "I miss my Scooby" threads
- All group buys must have "*********" on either side of the subject and fizzle out with people not actually coughing up the cash
- All newbies will be welcomed by some people who have nothing else to post and immediately told that their bank accounts will soon be empty because of mods
- All interesting threads in General will be dispatched straight to Drivetrain
- All threads involving John Felstead, David Wallis, R19ket and ChristianR will be moved straight to 22b.com or Projects
Keep 'em coming... definitely a "Classic Thread" in progress
Richard
A few more:
- Is supermarket fuel ok for my car? (And variants, like 95RON on a P1 etc)
- Stef/PTMW/Harj/random other old-timers will not answer threads asking where they are
- "My scooby is sick
Sympathy please!"- And threads on the second hand value of EU imports will be answered unsympathetically by Pete Lewis
- People who've just sold their car will post "I miss my Scooby
" threads- All group buys must have "*********" on either side of the subject and fizzle out with people not actually coughing up the cash
- All newbies will be welcomed by some people who have nothing else to post
and immediately told that their bank accounts will soon be empty because of mods- All interesting threads in General will be dispatched straight to Drivetrain
- All threads involving John Felstead, David Wallis, R19ket and ChristianR will be moved straight to 22b.com or Projects
Keep 'em coming... definitely a "Classic Thread" in progress
Richard
25 March 2003, 07:33 PM
#22
LOL - I really needed this today
- every few months we must have a 12 year old new member who claims to own a WRC car and be a test driver for Malcolm Wilson
- The forum list must continue to expand to the point where it takes an ADSL connection 10 minutes to download the front page of the bbs
- Ever now and then, a member must shout to the roof tops, first of all how good a company / person is, and then change to spending the rest of their life telling us how bad they are.
- the webmaster must finally own up to earning £100K a week out of banner advertising
- the webmaster must finally own up to the fact that scoobynet costs 10 pence a year to run "just like my mate's site".
- Anyone who claims to have ordered a 2 skylines, a ferrari, an integra, 22b and a merc that never materialises must still be believed when he tells us about his next purchase
LOL
- every few months we must have a 12 year old new member who claims to own a WRC car and be a test driver for Malcolm Wilson
- The forum list must continue to expand to the point where it takes an ADSL connection 10 minutes to download the front page of the bbs
- Ever now and then, a member must shout to the roof tops, first of all how good a company / person is, and then change to spending the rest of their life telling us how bad they are.
- the webmaster must finally own up to earning £100K a week out of banner advertising
- the webmaster must finally own up to the fact that scoobynet costs 10 pence a year to run "just like my mate's site".
- Anyone who claims to have ordered a 2 skylines, a ferrari, an integra, 22b and a merc that never materialises must still be believed when he tells us about his next purchase
LOL
25 March 2003, 07:41 PM
#25
- having a post removed / locked should be an absolutely life consuming event for which no ammount of retribution will ever put right.
- It's absolutely FINE to post things that could cause scoobynet legal difficulties.
- The words freedom of speech should be censored!! (I like that one - LOL)
aahh.. I'm just starting to wind down.
- It's absolutely FINE to post things that could cause scoobynet legal difficulties.
- The words freedom of speech should be censored!!
(I like that one - LOL)aahh.. I'm just starting to wind down.
25 March 2003, 07:48 PM
#26
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- It's absolutely FINE to post things that could cause scoobynet legal difficulties.
25 March 2003, 07:50 PM
#27
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- Being overtaken on a track day is 100% proof that the driver that overtook you is irresponsible and a dangerous driver and shouldn't be allowed control of a shopping trolley, never mind a car.
- Exhausts can never be loud enough, or large enough. If a Rottweiler can't sleep in your exhaust you should be ashamed of yourself.
- There must be at least one post per month about claiming for scratches on windows under warranty
- Exhausts can never be loud enough, or large enough. If a Rottweiler can't sleep in your exhaust you should be ashamed of yourself.
- There must be at least one post per month about claiming for scratches on windows under warranty
25 March 2003, 07:52 PM
#29
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"Right that's it this is my last ever post" type announcements
If you do not get a response to your topic in less than 4.5 micro seconds you have the right to complain about why are your questions always ignored
If you do not get a response to your topic in less than 4.5 micro seconds you have the right to complain about why are your questions always ignored