Bajie

Parked outside JD Sports .
It was Sunday 10:50. The don't open till 11.
Got out of the car, sat on a pillar while waiting.
Crowd mills about some look at the scoob, some don't.
Some total [insert relevant language] rest his five stone **** on the rear quarter of my car!
I stay on my pillar staring at him and stewing. Think to myself walk over and groin him.
Bajie you Wimp! I de-activate then re-activate the alarm.
****** stays on the car for another 15seconds and then meanders off.
I'm too old for prison. But what can you say to that kind of muppet. What conversation could you possibly have.

AllanB

Get the f@ck off my caror I'll kill you normally works.


AllanB

Dream Weaver

Agree with Allan - fairly sure that "Oi get your fat **** off my car" can be used in these situations.

[Edited by Dream Weaver - 9/13/2002 10:00:06 AM]

darkblueturbo

start the engine and put it in reverve

Brun

**** off w4nker, b4 rip ya head off and **** down ur throat.
Have a nice day!

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

You could have pressed the panic button on your alarm, however I doubt I could have resisted the urge to have a word with him, the scote

Justin

The Zohan

I would politely ask him/her, no joy then tell, no joy then move them, simple!

I have asked people on several occaisions and this has always worked.

[Edited by Paul Habgood - 9/13/2002 10:16:05 AM]

RB170

How about

"Excuse me but can you get off my car please"

If that doesn't work then get in and run the f*cker over

Mike

RichardPON

Well done for restraining yourself....

As soon as I see anything like that, my mouth is open before I've even realised!

e.g. "Oi, you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnntttttttttt!!!"

NotoriousREV

Definately "excuse me, please don't lean on my car" followed by "get the **** off my car now" followed by *THWACK*

stephen emery

How about,
hi the car dint's easy as its made of cheep plastic.

if no movement just hit the bloke. that usually works ether you get bet up or he dose!

steve

ps once hit a bloke for very same thing, i won as well, got a wack on me nose for the trouble though!

Shark

It takes 4 muscles to extend the arm and bitch slap the mother ******

LG John

I remember I went into the chippy once and came out to find about 4 teenagers sitting on the bonnet of the VTS and another 10 leaning against the car. I was raging inside but I just said nothing and got into the car as they would have almost certianly kicked at it or keyed it before I managed to drive away.

Makes you mad but what can you do. I'd never dream of leaning against another car even a cr@p one!!

ice man

lol @ Shark

I'd go with that one

HELLOM8

Follow them home and monitor them for years until they get there own car. Then get a pair of jeans with rivets on and sit on there car and say things like, "not very nice is it". Some might say its obsesive but some times you have to.

evo kid

simpley ask him 'is this your car' when he replies NO, let him have it , dont give in till hes crying

paul-s

tell him to get his lardar$e off the car coz you've got an appointment with his mum at home, and you can't be late.

mozzaITA

Thats nothing, many years ago i had a nova Gsi and i used to park it outside where i worked at a clothes shop.....

i didnt used to do much work there and found my self looking outside and i happened to notice a youngster ( 4 yars old maybe) with his mun next to my car, next thing i knew the younster had is trousers off and was taking a **** against the fuc king wheel, i looked on in amazement, set the car alarm off which didnt help and when the mum walked pass i asked her where her fuc king car was so i could **** on it!!!

SiPie

Cover your entire car with superglue in the event that this should ever happen again, then with him firmly attached to the front of the bonnet, take him on a flat out tour of your favourite twisty country road section and see if that makes him think twice about doing the same thing again......!

RB170

Hate it when people do that ****, it's even worse whn you find someone sitting on your bike

Me and Mutant Matt used to work together and evey day we would have to go and tell people to get of his bike.

NotoriousREV

RB170,

My mate used to have a bike alarm that could remotely start the engine. It had a D&D race exhaust on it (D&D are THE loudest exhausts on the planet) and he used to start it up if people got to close to it. You should have seen them jump

Of course, the one day he did it when the bike was in gear wasn't too pretty...

swan

I'm a lawyer, who's paying your legal fees for this?

TurboBoost

I was once told by someone at work that someone was sat/standing against my car.
I went over and he was being questioned by a copper, obviously a local ****** with some previous. He was moving about a bit, possibly scratching it so I lost my rag in front of the copper (they were in mid-conversation) and said "get the **** away from my car", copper grinned but ****** was trying to act all hard as he was now getting grief from two people simultaneously.
I would have loved to beat the crap out of him.