hodgy0_2

Several times in the last few years my wife has come back from lunch date with a girlfriend

(not literally come back with a girlfriend - my lifes not that good)

The conversation goes something like this

me - “how was Victoria”

wife -Oh OK, in a bit of a state though – Charles is leaving her, wants to move out

Really – (trying to seem concerned)

Yes, apparently Charles says he needs some “space” feels hemmed in – is going to move out and try living alone for a bit

Oh I say – he is having an affair (not a question, a statement of fact)

No no no, Victoria says he isn’t – he just needs “space”

Ffs sake he is having an affair, no man moves out for “space” without have some easy clvnge access sorted – it simply doesn’t happen

Roll on 5 weeks

How is Victoria?

Mmmm not good Charles has moved out and yes was having an affair


So any women reading this – if your or girlfriends husband/boyfriend wants some “space”, please, think about it

There is someone else, no matter how much he tells you otherwise

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Sorry Hodgy you lost me at Victoriat! :-(

hodgy0_2

victoriat?

ScoobyDoo555

In my house, I get as far as trying to sound concerned.......

Then she realises the game's up and changes conversation

Ellie*

People generally like to delude themselves rather than face reality.

Saxo Boy

Lol @ trying to seem concerned. This is so bro

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

I have a mate did this.

Told everyone he and his wife were just trial separating, no-one else involved.

Next thing we know, he's with one of his ex-students.......

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Sorry it's my iphone fail. There's random ts and vs all over your post!

Turbohot

Exactly.

Men and women.

People do break up without affairs, though. It's only the weak ones who need a replacement therapy, and the ones who can't do without someone becoming their victim and/or them becoming someone's victim again.

On space, space might genuinely be needed if one is not happy. One doesn't necessarily need to have an affair with another human to leave someone, it could be something else; like a hobby or profession, even. If suffocated like hell and escaping, you might as well escape for good. You may come back in body if you can't do without someone to just 'be there' for you regardless of what they are to you, but you'll have your spirit somewhere out there floating about like a lost puppy. And yes, for that reason, the leaver forever would have another shoulder of some sort to lean on; may it be a human, a hobby or a profession.

PaulC72

question is, is Victoria hot?

dpb

Fuming probably

Turbohot

Good guess, that.

If it were some Victor who was cheated on by some Charlotte for 'space', he would have been 'there' to sort the new man out.

Felix.

I don't know about any other bloke on here, but having been married for 14 years - i think one is bad enough, i wouldn't want another.

I can understand people who just want to be on there own and not be tied down with all the 'issues' that relationships bring.

CrisPDuk

What he said

I've never understood why any guy would want more than one at a time

I've got three cars & two bikes, combined they cause me less grief than one wife

Plus, I can shut any one of them in the garage for weeks at a time without them complaining

Turbohot

Men and women that have affairs are generally unhappy in their love life to the point that when something pleasant comes along on a plate, they naturally go for it. You can't really blame them, no matter how immoral and hurtful the word 'affair' does sound. Some have all the happiness in their relationship they could ever wish for, but something is always missing from their life. Such people have their own issues, and that is why they have affairs.

DYK

I not married but I do like to have my own space at times,just go for a wonder and be with my own thoughts
But if some guy says to his woman I'm moving out,want my own space,yeah right er ok another words,I'm porking someone else.

Lydia72

It's funny though how they all justify it as something they couldn't help, they had such a strong connection to the other woman, they've never felt like this before (what, not even with the person you actually married?).
Because admitting that yes they could help it but chose not to means they're not special after all, they're just the same as all the other middle-aged cheaters, all following the same sad script. It's like the Jeremy Kyle show but with better clothes and teeth.

What I can't understand is what the other woman sees in him? He's got no morals and can lie in bed next to the person he has promised to remain faithful to knowing he is boning someone else. Congratulations love, you're now dating a cheat and a liar, yeah good luck with that.
Oh sorry, forgot, this time it's special.

hodgy0_2

Yes, to really rub it in sometimes they pretend that they are the victim in all this

And sometimes their wives actually fall for it

"He does need some space, things haven't been going well between us la, la, la la, no on else involved, la, la la

I am not saying everyone is perfect, but every time I hear a "no one else involved" I just think Boll0x

Turbohot

You're only looking at it with a one-track mind, Hodgy.

I agree that women and men falling for this 'space' excuse to literally move out are deluded. In regular relationship these days, there is plenty of space as it is, with two professionals working for different orgs, pursuing their own interests in some of their free time etc. So the time they do spend with each other shouldn't really beg the need for space, unless, as you say, something else is up. That something else isn't always a person, though. It could be simply peace that they're after. They may end up finding someone later, but why shouldn't they? Why should they be miserable on their own because previous one got fvcked up? I don't think so.


For example, we personally know about 3 male family friends of ours who did that. One walked away from his dramatic materialistic missus who he survived living with for 35 years. Another one walked away because his rocky long term relationship led his missus to have an affair. He forgave, but couldn't handle it for long. Third one's relationship was terrible with an earache of a wife for years due to her insane jealousy for his child from his previous relationship. First and third had epiphany after their operations and illnesses that kicked them up their **** to do one. Two of these guys went for 'space' option to work their own head out. Middle One (with wife's affair) did come back, but had to go back to his 'space' for good, as he couldn't handle it. Two of them have gfs now, and one can't be @rsed with relationships now.

A female friend of ours walked away for space in her post- operative state of mind from her big house, and then decided to stayed on in her box flat by herself. During and after her operation, the neglect she experienced from her husband and her young adult son who were too busy with their own lives was pivotal for her. She realised that all those 35 years of her marriage were empty for her, and yes, all the way during their living together, her space needing husband had been having affairs in France where he used to holiday without her at least 3 times a year.

Also, some women tend to want their space in bed, leaving their partners frustrated for sex. But yes, they can do that easily by kicking their husbands in their bollox, and turning their back to them.

Women who go for such cheats are just desperate, Lydia.

I knew a woman in our group of friends who always got close to attached men on our nights out and ended up snogging them etc. I asked her if she feels bad for the woman he has back home? She said- "No. I don't feel bad or guilty, because it's the man's fault for setting his eyes on me. He's the one who's responsible to be loyal to his GF, not me!". Needless to say that her view didn't agree with mine. She did end up snatching a man from an 'unhappy marriage', and never mind his wife, his 16 yr old son was in pieces when that happened. I'd run a mile if I knew that the man who's trying to impress me had a gf or a wife back home. If he's giving me all that bull that he isn't happy in his relationship etc., I'll tell him to pi$$ off to Relate to sort his relationship out before he even thinks of chatting someone else up.

angel1368

iTrader: (1)

im married and met my future wife ar school when we where both 12, at 14 we had our daughter haha very naughty and everyone said it wouldnt last but now out daughter is 23 and we are still as happy as ever

Turbohot

Exactly.

There are people like you, angel. Hodgy is like you, too. He's happily married like Karl227 was on Muppets! I miss Karl. Not in any other way , but just for his pungent humour.

But then there are people who are living in false pretence of long term relationships. Being single and living alone is not just daunting but also a social stigma, and people without relationships may get taken as life-long spinsters, bachelors and fuglies. Even George Clooney hasn't been able to break that stereotype. That could be because he's a tart.

Anyway, affairs don't just always happen. A lot of times people are miserable in their relationship, and that's why they resort to looking for whatever out there. Some people, of course, are compulsive cheaters, and as I say, they have issues. Their wives/gfs are better off pushing them to their 'space' and finding someone reliable rather than staying deluded about them.

PaulC72

People also fall out of love or the relationship has run it's course too, I know a couple of people who live together as married (they are married as far as the piece of paper goes) but they live separate lives because they don't want to upset the children by breaking up the home....

Is that right, I think there is always more to a story maybe he no longer loves her but hasn't handled it like a man and left her first without having the affair but not everyone can be as perfect as the SN massive can they

shytorque

So is this "Victoria" worth it Hodgy ???

Turbohot

People fall out of love for various reasons. And yes, there're plenty of peeps still together for kids' sake, or for finances' sake, but not for love for their partner/gf/wife. For some, it's just convenient to carry on, even in separate rooms. Not everyone has ***** to call it quits.

Yeah, SN Massive is judgemental, Paul. It will never change. That's my judgement of SN.

Turbohot

Mindful question.

hodgy0_2

I am not saying breakups never happen without some else involved and I m not saying it is only men

But it just amuses me that everythime we hear of this sort of thing amongst, and i admit, a fairly wide circle of friends

I always say - sure, he is fvcking someone else, and my wife says, mmmm no apparently not

And subsequent events show i am proved right (which deep down my wife knows anyway lol)


That 99% of men think with their **** is not the surprise here btw, it is that the women believe them!!!!!

Turbohot

I think your wife plays a defense called 'denial' to protect herself. That's because she doesn't want to think that you will ever do that to her. I know you won't, but I'm just saying, like.

Turbohot

Sure. But you fall in that 1%, don't you? Now if you take the world population into account, there are quite a few like you.

In conclusion, there are that 1% men who think with their **** first in immoral circumstances, then they think of lawn mowers to get it to its prune state again. There are women like that too, but their ***** is too small to deny/conceal bodily erections due to corrupt thoughts.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

A wise man once said, "one day, I'll meet the woman of my dreams, until then, I'll stay married."

Turbohot

Very good.

A wise woman once said-

"A woman looks for several different ideal men in her one man, whereas a man is looking to find his one ideal dream woman in several different women."