Frenchwood

<rant="sick of bullies">

Well, after many months of systematic bullying at primary school, my eldest son Aiden (8 years old) finally had enough of the bullies and let loose. I've already had to remove him from one school because the bullying was taking over his life, he has a high EQ, and so is an easy target.

So, Aiden wouldn't go to school on Friday out of fear of the bullies. I had a few words with him Saturday saying he's to take on the the biggest one as the school are not doing anything to help!

So today when the bullies started he went up to the biggest one, and not only fought back, but floored him in one punch!

Now I'm not a violent person, nor do I condone it, but when the school won't do anything, what other answer is there?

Hopefully, that'll be the end of it!

</rant>

Graz

Problem these days is that the parents of the kid he smacked could now get your kid in trouble, would be surprised if they could have him up on an assault charge these days Even if it goes unnoticed do you really think this will be the end of it for your son?

Personally I'd have been knocking on the head teacher's office door daily until it got sorted. Schools should be well aware of the detrimental effects of bullying both psychological and physical and should have policies in place to deal with it swiftly and effectively. If they weren't sorting it then I'd take it higher up the chain.

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

Good for your lad. Unfortunately as is the way of the world, he'll probably get into trouble now but sounds like the (probable) chav scum bully deserved it.

It's something I dread when my son (2) goes to school in a couple years. Luckily he's the size of a three year old already so I'm hoping his size will help him.

Let us know how it pans out and if your lad has stopped the bullying.

danos14

iTrader: (8)

Good for him, school's wont do anything. We had an issue 2 weeks into my son starting primary, spoke to his teacher who said 'yea - we know he is a physical child'... No you stupid woman he is a bully and you need to sort it out.

Your son will now hopefully be less of a target now they know he can fight back.

Frenchwood

He was hit first, so it's self defence and as such no repercussions for Aiden in terms of assault charges. Besides, There were 3 of them against Aiden. It WILL be the end now, as Aiden flooring the kid has brought this to the attention of the school. I had warned them that if he loses his rag, the other kid will come off worse Aiden towers over all the other kids in his year, and is strong as an ox. He's just more sensitive and emotional than others, and would rather read a book than play a sport. He got a "red card" at school, but nothing more.

I've been "though the system" with the education board and Aiden on this more than once, and it's geared up to protect the schools and their statistics (those were the words given to me by child welfare services!).


I was bullied at school loads Brian, and it took me until my final year at primary to fight back. It started all over again at secondary. 3rd before I fought back again. I refuse to let Aiden go through that, my school life was a living hell.

I'm going to get him into martial arts soon I think. Teach him the discipline you need when you have a good right uppercut!! Lol

Anyway; hopefully it'll show the bullies that they can't behave like that with anyone. Maybe it'll even set a precedence for the other kids being bullied. I'd love for all of them to fight back and expose these bullies for what they are, mindless, dumbass, cowardly children of Chavs.

Frenchwood

I'm hoping so matey.

Did your lad sort it out?

RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

My sister did the same thing some 20odd years ago. for months in secondary school she was pullied by several girls. It got to the point where even at weekends they would come for her.
One day she let loose and ended up ripping the girls hair out so much she had a bald patch. She was never bullied again and even the police that came round to have a word with my parents said off the record it's the only way.

The girl still tries to add her on facebook

Frenchwood

Glad your sister sorted it matey.

It's true that the education system in this country sucks. It's all about stats and political correctness. They [head-teachers] don't want a bullying mark against them, so a blind eye gets turned, and bullying becomes rife. Child welfare in Nottingham are fantastic, but their hands are tied, particularly when the school is an Academy. Most of those that aren't an academy are trying to get that status because they can handle it all internally and the government has little say... It's bloody madness.

At least I now know my two boys will defend themselves, which ultimately means I sleep easier at night!

AndyBaker

Well done Aiden, I always told my son when he was at school that if he was ever picked on, hit them as hard as you can, you might get hit back and get beaten but they'll look for an easier argent next time - turned out ok

Frenchwood

That's exactly what I said to him. As it happens, the 3 picking on him were cowards, and as the biggest one fell, the other two ran! Lol.

Hopefully no one else will even attempt to have a go at him now!

stilover

Brilliant.

Why not get him to Self defence classes? Will be good for him, and if the Bullies come back he'll be able to handle the situation even better.

pagey1982

iTrader: (1)

I agree with you schools are crap for that me and my partner been in our lads school few
Time and they have not done any think

Frenchwood

Thanks matey. Looking into martial arts classes in the area!


They're terrible, and want to deal with everything "informally" (read: off the record) because repeated reported incidents put the school on ofsted's radar!

It's a sorry state of affairs and the eduction in this country is failing our children, not just with their safety, but also with their education. It's no surprise that other countries do so much better in innovation, and scientific & technological progress!

hodgy0_2

good for Aiden

Frenchwood

Thanks Hodgy.

David Lock

Did you get hold of a parent governor? They have a duty to take up your grievances and are often much more effective that the teachers.

And go to the AGM and raise the matter in front of all the parents who will attend.

dl

Frenchwood

Unfortunately mate, that wasn't an option at the last school, and he's not been at the new school long. It's been raised with his teacher, and the head, to no avail.

The last school I wrote to the governors (with "CONFIDENTIAL" on the envelope, the head teacher is then not allowed to read it). The response I got was "please arrange an informal chat with Aiden's teacher" which we had already done numerous times.

The last school was applying for academy status, and a lot of other parents had mentioned a lot of things were "being ignored" until they got academy status!! Bullying only has to have a procedure in place, whether its effective or not is hidden with "informality", and every time I attempted to make it formal, it was brushed off.

Child Welfare Services advised me to remove him from the school.

Since being at the new school, one lad was picking on Aiden, and they eventually got into a scuffle which was split up. Nothing serious, and it fizzled out. Whereas the three boys involved in today's altercation had been on at Aiden constantly, not just pushing and shoving, but name calling, mental abuse as well as physical. The difference here being there were 3 against one. Aiden retaliated, and won.

I understand that the first boy was just "social pecking order", and to me, wasn't bullying, but the "natural order" as it were, but those 3 today were out to "get" Aiden. 3 on 1 is wrong. They pushed him too far, and got what they deserved, and in my opinion will do much more to stem bullying than teachers will ever do. Maybe if more people stood up to bullies, there'd be less opportunity for them to do it. Unfortunately, it's usually the victim that gets the blame. That, in my opinion, is what's wrong with society today. Too many "aww it's not the bully's fault"... Until of course some poor kid takes their own life!!


P.s. I really MUST get off of my soap box!! Lol.

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

My son's been told the same from me! I'd rather he end up in a bit of trouble for smacking a bully, than spend one second afraid of being bullied.

He's about a foot taller than everyone else at school though and built like a little man already so I don't see it happening hopefully.

Tell your son well done.

KP Nuts

Good lad got to stand up for yourself ,my nipper was picked on by the school bully coming home with bite mark ,bruises etc we told him to stick up for himself but was worried about getting into trouble ,told the teachers if he loses his rag god help them ,3 day later got the call ,he lost it 2 males teachers had to drag him off this kid and lock him in the gym,never got bullied again nor did anyone else in the school ,mind you he was only 6.22 now plays rugby hard as nails but never starts anything .Am sure Aiden won't get packed again good boy

Frenchwood

Thanks guys.

These bullies need to be put in their place. It's the only answer as I see it. Bullies seem remarkable at hiding their actions from those in authority!!

^Qwerty^

It carries on. My lad (14) was recently getting grief off two brothers on the bus. Whilst he's a year older than the eldest of the two, it eventually became physical with mine punching the 'mouth' to the floor and causing blood to flow. The school did become involved, as next thing I knew, the brothers parents rang the school to say my lad was bullying them and what were they going to do about it. The school insisted that he wrote a letter of apology, but I told him not to do it, and if they had an issue with it, to ring me.
Was such a shame that the youngest brother broke down in front of the head when he was by himself and fessed up that it was his brother causing all the issues on the bus and he throw the first punch
Anyway, he's not had any problems since, so hope the same goes for the op's son.

Does make you wonder what goes through some kids heads, other than small person's sydrome, as to why you'd take on somebody who is clearly much bigger and stronger than you.

Frenchwood

Thanks matey.

Your story is exactly what I mean about the victim being blamed earlier. Glad the truth came out for him! That's how it should be too!

The good thing is that Aiden has learnt that fear of these bullies, although common, is not the only response!

daveyorks

Aiden did the right thing

my godson was getting bullied at junior school for months by older girls,he was about 7 and the girls 11,the school wouldnt do anything.he doesnt like fighting even tho he punches me hard when messing about!

one day he was going to snap after one hitting him over the back with a tennis racket. and he did,chased the ring leader(there is allways one) and hit her.it stopped then and he is so much happy now and you can tell.

Frenchwood

Thanks matey.

Older girls bullying boys makes it worse... With the whole "never hit a woman" mantra. Glad he sorted it though, and he definitely took the right action in my mind!

The change in Aiden this evening was unreal. He even got on with his younger brother! ( a rarity )!! Lol

lordharding

iTrader: (1)

Good on young Aidan
Get him to the kids section of a martial arts school next that will gave him more confidence
I used to assist our karate instructor teach the kids the basics and it's amazing how much they gained from it in just a few weeks

I hated my school days and was picked in for years probably because I was the tallest in the school but thin and not particularly strong
I remember being chased down corridors fearing for my life on a daily occurrence
Then when I was 14 decided to fight back against the five bullies planning my revenge after my parents pleas to the school went on deaf ears
Taken out the ringleader first like carling in the scum film did and a few blows and then put his head down the bog flushing it and stuffing toilet roll in this mouth Too lads who were also bullied by the guy kept the door shut as he was dealt with
I ran outside said to his mate to come and see what was going on the slammed his head between the cubicle door and kicked him as hard as I could with yes my cowboy boots on
( they were in fashion 33 years ago )
Went looking for the other three and decided a chair over the third guy was the best form of attack and the other two pleaded for mercy and escaped my years of bullying

6 years if bullying was dealt with in ten minutes of lordys mad moments
One other bully was dealt with when he turned up at my karate club too

I do believe the best way to deal with bullying is to fight Back and hit them hard and fast as its sadly the only language these idiots understand

Good job Aiden
Now he will have a reputation so hopefully the bullying will stop and the idiots will look to another target

stedee

iTrader: (4)

good on him, its the only thing that works and will give him more confidence when he is older to deal with similar situations.

Frenchwood

Thanks for the support guys!

pslewis

Ask the School for the list of Governors and the Chair of Governors.

Write to each one of them and to the HeadTeacher - explain what this is doing to your child and you demand action now.

Request that the matter be brought up at their next Governors meeting at which you you like to attend ....... these are open meetings, although very few people actually feel the urge to sit in on one.

The above will put your lad right at the forefront and something will be done.

Good luck.

ScoobyWon't

Please name the schools, just so us members in Nottingham know where not to send our children.

Frenchwood

I tried that at the last school mate. Governors kept referring me back to the informal school bullying process simply to brush the matter under the carpet. They sided with the head teacher (whom I had many discussions with) probably because of attempting for academy status.

It's seemingly all politics, and in my opinion doesn't favour the children or parents in any situation, but simply keeps those in jobs that don't really belong there.

I think that the government is wrong with the stance on bullying, schools only have to have a process to deal with it, there's nothing about it having to be effective. I spoke A LOT to Child Welfare, and even they think its a joke, every time they try and intervene at a school they get smacked down by other council departments.

Its become apparent to me that there are loads of processes in place at the schools in Nottingham that seem to create an infinite loop therefore removing the ability for anything to get raised if the head teacher doesn't want it to be. This is probably to "protect" the pay packet of head teachers, heaven forbid they should actually have to do some actual work!! The governors at the last school were all in a clique with the head teacher, and as such, it means that you cannot get anything done. It's a joke.

Again, I MUST get off my soap box!!! Lol