David Lock

About 30 years ago when we lived in London we became good friends with a guy, Andy, who came in to help with our house upgrading. He was aa very pleasant, personable guy with good sense of humour complete with sexy g/f

Anyway he moved away and a few years later we learnt that he had met another girl and married. We met his new wife on one occasion but she was quite different from him being rather straight laced and lacking any sense of humour or so it seemed. Andy had also changed markedly and seemed to be in a shell of his own.

Moving on a few years we learnt from Andy that he had divorced and was living on his own in Stockport but saw his two sons quite often.

Two days ago Andy called to say that he was down our way and was going to drop by.

To our complete surprise he told us that he had re-married his ex and had sold his house up North to go and live with his "new" wife in the South. But at the last minute she changed her mind and said that she no longed wished to be with Andy.

But this is the odd thing. When Andy arrived he declined to sit down and give us all the news but spent the next 2 hours pacing up and down the lounge talking almost non-stop. It was really quite disconcerting. He would just not stop for a moment and relax.

I am not sure if manic is the right word but something was not right and I wondered if anyone here recognised this behaviour? I did wonder if he was on some drugs, legal or otherwise, but I know he has stayed clear of such things. Would coke do this to someone?

Thoughts?

David

boxst

Cocaine does do that to someone.

So does the 'manic' bit of manic depression, although I rarely see a high lasting for two hours.

If you care and want to I would keep in touch and see if you can help if he crashes in a day or two.

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

Abso-freakin-lutely Did he talk about himself only, with no interest in your lives? Did he use the toilet in those 2 hours? Could well be other stimulants if not, but sounds highly likely to me.

David Lock

DJ,

Thanks, I have never had coke so don't really know what it does. Yes he was mostly talking about himself but that was fair enough as he was talking about his future and asking for our advice. He wanted to buy a house in the South. I didn't see him disappearing to the loo or popping outside.

I have to say that I have never seen anyone behave like this in my life.

David

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

pslewis

I drink Pepsi and it makes me go to the loo - I stay away from Coke as I've heard it's not safe ....... still unsure as to why they continue selling it in the shops?

Graz

Stick to crystal meth

DYK

I here some famous scientists would sometimes do this pacing up and down...

Infected by sti

iTrader: (6)

People can act like this without the use of drugs if something has had a major impact on their lives.

Sounds as if he is extremely anxious tbh, and his thoughts are going at a million miles an hour.

How was his personal appearance? Any changes that you noticed? Was his speech any different to when you last seen him? Tell tail signs of drug use would be sweating alot, drinking plenty of fluids, diluted pupils, frequent toilet visits, and to be fair if he was on some kind of high like coke, MDMA, m cat etc etc, the type of drug you need frequent doses of (powder forms) to keep you at that level of high function ability would need regular "hits", did he start to slow down at all or look as if he was starting to become withdrawn? Within 2 hours of ingesting the substance you would normally be coming down from that higher state of consciousness (some may take a little longer granted if like base/whizz etc) so was there any change from the time he walked in to the time he left?

May not be drug related, but his personal circumstances may be playing a big part in all of that, he may need to see a professional if that's the case as things like anxiety and stress can take over somebody's life in the blink of an eye without even realising what's truly happening to them and can be a ticking time bomb before a breakdown occurs or maybe worse.

Just a thought

David Lock

Bearing in mind we hadn't seen Andy for a few years he looked just as he did but with more grey hairs. His speech was coherent and normal.

But he was under a lot of stress which I think had been building up. Quite honestly we thought he was struggling to organise his life for the future. Not helped by an almost complete lack of interest/hobbies aside from a round or two of golf.

We really like the guy and just hope that he doesn't do anything stupid.

David

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

I doubt he would have been at full tilt for 2 hours without a top up, especially if he was a regulalr user. Sounds like something else but clearly needs help. If possible, let him know you're there to talk and see if you can find out more.

TelBoy

Why could he not simply be having a nervous breakdown?

David Lock

As a complete aside he told us about his upbringing. Normal family life, his father was a GP. Sent away to boarding prep school where has was expelled for a rather poor attempt to set fire to the school Then sent to another prep and became head boy. He excelled at sport and was given a sponsorship place at Millfied which is a top of the league private school.

David

David Lock

Perhaps he is. How would one know? D

TelBoy

An appointment with his doctor. Don't rely on a Scoobynet diagnosis. He obviously needs professional help in some capacity.

hodgy0_2

by his strange behaviour??

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

Indeed. Which is why I'd keep in contact and find out more, then you can advise him to see someone. Don't just wade in and suggest he needs medical help

David Lock

We'll certainly keep in touch with Andy and see how it all goes. Shame we don' know either of his sons who we could chat with. Thanks for comments. David

RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

What about these women... where are the pics?

PaulC72

He's done her in either that he has been pushed to the extremes and is on the way to a nervous breakdown.

jods

It does sound quite worrying.

My gardener in Florida gave out some "red flag" signals which I didn't see at the time. He shot himself in the head 3 weeks after we came home from our trip out there. I just keep thinking that if I hadn't been unshaven / hungover / naked etc and was able to do what I normally did - say hi and offer him some water and conversation then he may still be with us today. He was our gardener but he had resigned from a seriously high stress job in banking in NYC - he was no Thicko. The trouble was (IMHO) that his wife was used to spending $$$$$$$ and continued at the same rate regardless of income.

God bless you Joe.

gazzawrx

iTrader: (11)

Maybe he just had a lot he needed to get off his chest and you was the first person he spoke to, just meet up with him again and see what hes like this time round

Davey96wrx

iTrader: (1)

Absolutely this, sounds like he's going through hell, and all people suggest us he is on drugs!?

Maybe he just needs a mate at a very hard time.

SiPie

Yup, sounds like he's right on the brink to me.

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

He sounds a bit like my wife's brother.

Went away to some performing arts boarding school, and then on to rada dance school, very intelligent and talented.

I think it does something to them with regards to personal relationships, he can be as nice as you can imagine, very sociable and personable but with a manic depressive undertone, and has problems with close personal relationships.

His disorder manifests it's self when he drinks, which is the result of stress and then leads to a few month bender and the breakdown of his relationships with everyone, then he goes into himself, and pops up later as though nothing happened.

Obviously a lot more to it than that but this is just a quick appraisal of his personality.

Point being, these things tend to go a lot deeper than just one incident, sounds to me like the guy has some very deep routed problems which i'm sure would come to light if you were able to speak to those that are and have been close to him and probably revolve around rejection issues like my bro in law.

I doubt very much that he was on drugs, he is just going through a difficult time and the old rejection theme has come back to haunt him again, this also tends to be a self fulfilling prophesy brought about by the behaviour within relationships by said individual.

First step is just to get the guy to realise he may have a problem and that it might help to talk to someone that doesn't know him personally and can advise him of the best course of action.

Top and bottom is he is one sick puppy and by the sounds of it he needs professional help, but please find him a top quality quack otherwise they can do more harm than good.

Leslie

I think I would prefer to be more generous with my assessment and think how he has been messed about for some time now,and it all seems to be falling apart again.

He must be under a lot of pressure and what he really needs is someone who will take his side and be very understanding in an effort to get him through his present mental turmoil.

Les