Absolutely non PC jokes
22 September 2012, 07:40 AM
#1
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Absolutely non PC jokes
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her ****. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.
From next week the forms will only be printed in English.
The Irish are solving their fuel problems. They imported 50 Million tonnes of sand from Saudia Arabia and they're going to drill for their own oil
Wife says to husband "u only ever want sex when ur drunk"husband says "thats not true....... sometimes i want a kebab"
A young Arab asks his father: -
What is this weird hat that we are wearing.
Why, it's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun!
And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body!
And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert!
Tell me, papa? - Yes, my son?- Then, why the f**k are we living in Bradford?
My son asked me today what's the difference between a crow and a blackbird. I told him crows have somewhat heavier beaks and fan shaped tails.
A blackbird hasbig rubbery lips, fuzzy hair and a massive ****
Teacher to class: "Children, we are all descendants of Adam and Eve"
Pupil: "But Miss, my mummy & daddy said we came from the apes."
Teacher: "Stay out of this one Leroy, I'm not talking about your f**king lot."
I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great!
She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.
Why is it whenever you see a fit blonde eating a banana you think of a **** film but when you see a black women eating a banana you think of the Discovery Channel.
Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.
They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement..it was a mortar attack.
The missus asked if she pleased me in bed?
I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked?
"The one where you shut the f*ck up and go to sleep!"
A geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Sudan
Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?"
"No," he replies, "Newcastle"
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same as this f*ckin place!
An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool.
The locals are said to be in a state of shock........;They had no f**king idea they had a Job Centre!
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "wear a seatbelt and don't **** me off!"
A man approaches a young woman in a shop. he says i can’t find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes? the woman says sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?
Not a clue he says but whenever I talk to a woman with **** like yours she appears out of f**king nowhere!
David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.
From next week the forms will only be printed in English.
The Irish are solving their fuel problems. They imported 50 Million tonnes of sand from Saudia Arabia and they're going to drill for their own oil
Wife says to husband "u only ever want sex when ur drunk"husband says "thats not true....... sometimes i want a kebab"
A young Arab asks his father: -
What is this weird hat that we are wearing.
Why, it's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun!
And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body!
And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert!
Tell me, papa? - Yes, my son?- Then, why the f**k are we living in Bradford?
My son asked me today what's the difference between a crow and a blackbird. I told him crows have somewhat heavier beaks and fan shaped tails.
A blackbird hasbig rubbery lips, fuzzy hair and a massive ****
Teacher to class: "Children, we are all descendants of Adam and Eve"
Pupil: "But Miss, my mummy & daddy said we came from the apes."
Teacher: "Stay out of this one Leroy, I'm not talking about your f**king lot."
I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great!
She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.
Why is it whenever you see a fit blonde eating a banana you think of a **** film but when you see a black women eating a banana you think of the Discovery Channel.
Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.
They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement..it was a mortar attack.
The missus asked if she pleased me in bed?
I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked?
"The one where you shut the f*ck up and go to sleep!"
A geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Sudan
Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?"
"No," he replies, "Newcastle"
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same as this f*ckin place!
An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool.
The locals are said to be in a state of shock........;They had no f**king idea they had a Job Centre!
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "wear a seatbelt and don't **** me off!"
A man approaches a young woman in a shop. he says i can’t find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes? the woman says sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?
Not a clue he says but whenever I talk to a woman with **** like yours she appears out of f**king nowhere!
22 September 2012, 09:08 AM
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It's the ignorance I object to. According to Cladistic Systematics, all human beings are a kind of chimpanzee. Singling black people out for the honour seems to me to show a horrifying failure in science education.
22 September 2012, 09:09 AM
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22 September 2012, 10:39 AM
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Don't you see what I was doing there? I was pointing out that just because Mr Jenks warns that his thread might be un-pc, it doesn't give him the right to post extremely offensive, unfunny examples of extreme racism. If the jokes had been about having sex with children would you be defending them? What about domestic violence? Would those be ok? Or are there just certain targets you approve of? 
.... In all my time here never have I seen such poor use of punctuations and structuring of sentences!
22 September 2012, 05:11 PM
#18
Don't you see what I was doing there? I was pointing out that just because Mr Jenks warns that his thread might be un-pc, it doesn't give him the right to post extremely offensive, unfunny examples of extreme racism. If the jokes had been about having sex with children would you be defending them? What about domestic violence? Would those be ok? Or are there just certain targets you approve of?
Do you see what I did there? just because you disagree with a post doesn't give you the right to police the forum and insult members.
As for jokes .. I'm an equal opportunity hater.
22 September 2012, 05:44 PM
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Don't you see what I was doing there? I was pointing out that just because Mr Jenks warns that his thread might be un-pc, it doesn't give him the right to post extremely offensive, unfunny examples of extreme racism. If the jokes had been about having sex with children would you be defending them? What about domestic violence? Would those be ok? Or are there just certain targets you approve of?
..............that jamie has not said which type of popcorn he is offering out sweet or salty 
22 September 2012, 11:10 PM
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22 September 2012, 11:51 PM
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