One for the Agony Aunts out there.....
03 August 2012, 04:58 PM
#1
One for the Agony Aunts out there.....
And the **** takers LOL
Simple question, How do you fall out of love with somebody ?
Me and the missus have split, yadayada, 15 yrs together, 2 kids, mutual decsion but more her, she has a new fella now, only 4 weeks later, i suspect it was going on before, she knew the guy but swears her feelings spiralled over the few weeks after she moved out, yawn.
but i`m taking it on face value otherwise i`ll be doubting every moment of the past yr etc.
I still love her but have to move on, how do you, is it just time ? If a new lady came into my life, would it divert that love ?
all answers welcome, even the she was boneing him for yrs yadayada LOL
Simple question, How do you fall out of love with somebody ?
Me and the missus have split, yadayada, 15 yrs together, 2 kids, mutual decsion but more her, she has a new fella now, only 4 weeks later, i suspect it was going on before, she knew the guy but swears her feelings spiralled over the few weeks after she moved out, yawn.
but i`m taking it on face value otherwise i`ll be doubting every moment of the past yr etc.I still love her but have to move on, how do you, is it just time ? If a new lady came into my life, would it divert that love ?
all answers welcome, even the she was boneing him for yrs yadayada LOL
03 August 2012, 05:18 PM
#4
Sorry to hear that bud. You aint stupid but you gotta be strong for your kids. Its hard to fall out of love but it will happen mate when you dont realise its happening. Get out with ya mates n start looking to meet new people, new circle of friends etc good luck tho mate
In the mean time make use of this site
http://www.adultfriendfinder.co.uk/
Pmsl
In the mean time make use of this site
http://www.adultfriendfinder.co.uk/
Pmsl
03 August 2012, 06:34 PM
#7
Scooby Regular
And the **** takers LOL
Simple question, How do you fall out of love with somebody ?
Me and the missus have split, yadayada, 15 yrs together, 2 kids, mutual decsion but more her, she has a new fella now, only 4 weeks later, i suspect it was going on before, she knew the guy but swears her feelings spiralled over the few weeks after she moved out, yawn. but i`m taking it on face value otherwise i`ll be doubting every moment of the past yr etc.
I still love her but have to move on, how do you, is it just time ? If a new lady came into my life, would it divert that love ?
all answers welcome, even the she was boneing him for yrs yadayada LOL
Simple question, How do you fall out of love with somebody ?
Me and the missus have split, yadayada, 15 yrs together, 2 kids, mutual decsion but more her, she has a new fella now, only 4 weeks later, i suspect it was going on before, she knew the guy but swears her feelings spiralled over the few weeks after she moved out, yawn.
but i`m taking it on face value otherwise i`ll be doubting every moment of the past yr etc.I still love her but have to move on, how do you, is it just time ? If a new lady came into my life, would it divert that love ?
all answers welcome, even the she was boneing him for yrs yadayada LOL
Well she probably was, but that's not the question.
The answer is that you don't. Or rather you can't stop loving somebody. That's the thing about love, it's out with your control.
So don't try and fall out of love, just accept that you have to move on and go out and **** someone younger and fitter
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03 August 2012, 07:22 PM
#9
Well as everyone has been constructive I will go for the **** take. Get registered as a man ***** on adult work and pimp your *** out for all. Use proceeds to buya Harley and sit outside theres revving it while dressed like a Viking (there's a Viking armour clad biker in pboro, look it up). Chicks dig it... Alongside that just get a fleshlight and stick a pic of your favourite bird on the handle.
Stick with it though pal, gets easier..I dont stand by my own advice above.
Stick with it though pal, gets easier..I dont stand by my own advice above.
03 August 2012, 07:51 PM
#10
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More constuctive from me...
Been there before, it hurts, but you go on and get stronger, if you can accept you other half has moved on, then you should do the same, keep everything amicable where the kids are concerned, and you should be fine.
Dont dwell on whats happened, and dont go one for one upmanship, live each day as it comes, and look forward to the future
Mart
Been there before, it hurts, but you go on and get stronger, if you can accept you other half has moved on, then you should do the same, keep everything amicable where the kids are concerned, and you should be fine.
Dont dwell on whats happened, and dont go one for one upmanship, live each day as it comes, and look forward to the future
Mart
03 August 2012, 08:09 PM
#11
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I went through the same a couple of years ago, all the above is really good advice, plus what helped me to move on was kicking 50 shades o shyte out the other bloke too
03 August 2012, 08:34 PM
#12
Kicking the sh it out of her new fella will help a bit......she's not played the 'nun' bit for long has she 
It's normally us blokes who do the coooonts trick....I was 32 when I left my missis for a 19yr old , worse thing I've done in my life was walking out on my kids for a slapper
Not a good situation but as I said .....chin him , ya never know what/where, if anything they have been up to
The exact same happened to my mate , his missis was banging a work collegue...dirty slag even used to pick him up in his fooooking car.....we showed him his error of his ways
Fortunate for me my missis took me back and alls been good.....bar the odd dig every now and then
Ps........if she drives and uses your car.......might be best to get a valet and sell it
It's normally us blokes who do the coooonts trick....I was 32 when I left my missis for a 19yr old , worse thing I've done in my life was walking out on my kids for a slapper
Not a good situation but as I said .....chin him , ya never know what/where, if anything they have been up to
The exact same happened to my mate , his missis was banging a work collegue...dirty slag even used to pick him up in his fooooking car.....we showed him his error of his ways
Fortunate for me my missis took me back and alls been good.....bar the odd dig every now and then
Ps........if she drives and uses your car.......might be best to get a valet and sell it
03 August 2012, 08:35 PM
#13
Kicking the sh it out of her new fella will help a bit......she's not played the 'nun' bit for long has she
It's normally us blokes who do the coooonts trick....I was 32 when I left my missis for a 19yr old , worse thing I've done in my life was walking out on my kids for a slapper
Not a good situation but as I said .....chin him , ya never know what/where, if anything they have been up to
The exact same happened to my mate , his missis was banging a work collegue...dirty slag even used to pick him up in his fooooking car.....we showed him his error of his ways
Fortunate for me my missis took me back and alls been good.....bar the odd dig every now and then
Ps........if she drives and uses your car.......might be best to get a valet and sell it
It's normally us blokes who do the coooonts trick....I was 32 when I left my missis for a 19yr old , worse thing I've done in my life was walking out on my kids for a slapper
Not a good situation but as I said .....chin him , ya never know what/where, if anything they have been up to
The exact same happened to my mate , his missis was banging a work collegue...dirty slag even used to pick him up in his fooooking car.....we showed him his error of his ways
Fortunate for me my missis took me back and alls been good.....bar the odd dig every now and then
Ps........if she drives and uses your car.......might be best to get a valet and sell it
been there done that and now have a criminal record for assault.
made me feel better for 20 mins until i ended up in a cell all night and then in court.
not a nice experience and dont give her the satisfaction.
Last edited by tubbytommy; 03 August 2012 at 08:36 PM.
03 August 2012, 08:35 PM
#14
03 August 2012, 08:42 PM
#15
Not a fooooking prayer in my eyes
03 August 2012, 09:26 PM
#19
Book yourself a lads holiday to Thailand or just go yourself
It will chance your life
And they will love you long time
Or untill the morning then you can get a newer model
Holiday of a lifetime for you and yuu will soon forget the evil ex
Cost me 125k 15 years ago to get rid of the first mrs H
And worth every penny
Remember the next one is always the best
It will chance your life
And they will love you long time
Or untill the morning then you can get a newer model
Holiday of a lifetime for you and yuu will soon forget the evil ex
Cost me 125k 15 years ago to get rid of the first mrs H
And worth every penny
Remember the next one is always the best
03 August 2012, 11:12 PM
#20
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If he doesn't know the guy she's ******** then what's the point of having a go at him? It's her choice at the end of the day and chinning her new fella won't get her back.
He should **** her sister or one of her friends if there is a need to get so called "even". She'll hate that!
He should **** her sister or one of her friends if there is a need to get so called "even". She'll hate that!
03 August 2012, 11:15 PM
#21
If he doesn't know the guy she's ******** then what's the point of having a go at him? It's her choice at the end of the day and chinning her new fella won't get her back.
He should **** her sister or one of her friends if there is a need to get so called "even". She'll hate that!
He should **** her sister or one of her friends if there is a need to get so called "even". She'll hate that!
Deserves a crack just for having that thought!
03 August 2012, 11:19 PM
#22
Scooby Regular
This happened to a mate of mine,they had been together almost 20 years and one night she said i don't love you anymore and i'm breaking up with you.My mate was gutted,anyhow after some digging into her facebook account,turns out she had met some other bloke.For weeks he was gutted,struggled to go to work etc,this was at Christmas time also,and was sleeping at another friends house because she told him to move out the house 
...
After about 2 months he got past the gutted feeling got himself moved into a flat and met another woman,things were not going so well now though with his ex mrs and her new partner,think the excitement of a new fella had worn off,or he had shagged her *** and wanted to move on.She started to realise where her bread was buttered,or however the saying goes.
After about five months she had split with the new bloke and found she was all alone and wanted my mate back,and he basically told her to **** off..See so it don't always work out for the best,so in a few months time she maybe knocking back at your door wanting you back and saying it was all a mistake..So you can either tell her to **** off,**** her in the *** and then tell her to **** off,or just accept her back...
...After about 2 months he got past the gutted feeling got himself moved into a flat and met another woman,things were not going so well now though with his ex mrs and her new partner,think the excitement of a new fella had worn off,or he had shagged her *** and wanted to move on.She started to realise where her bread was buttered,or however the saying goes.
After about five months she had split with the new bloke and found she was all alone and wanted my mate back,and he basically told her to **** off..See so it don't always work out for the best,so in a few months time she maybe knocking back at your door wanting you back and saying it was all a mistake..So you can either tell her to **** off,**** her in the *** and then tell her to **** off,or just accept her back...
03 August 2012, 11:59 PM
#23
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My Mrs threw me out last week.
I was packing all my belongings in the boot of the P1 and my Mrs was standing at the front door saying
" I hope you become bored stiff, have a **** life and find no pleasure at all" !
I said, Hun, I'm moving out...... .... I'm not moving back in"
I was packing all my belongings in the boot of the P1 and my Mrs was standing at the front door saying
" I hope you become bored stiff, have a **** life and find no pleasure at all" !
I said, Hun, I'm moving out...... .... I'm not moving back in"
04 August 2012, 12:13 AM
#24
Had something similar happen many years ago, went to work as normal having no indication that things at home were anything other than normal. I returned home, to find our house cleared, bank accounts emptied, girlfriend of 8 years and 6 year old son missing - she left me a note, it had to be stuck to the living room door as there was no furniture left to set it on 
The part that was hard to accept was that she had been working this out for some time, and she wanted to ensure I was left with absolutely nothing. I was not aware anything was wrong in our relationship, I was happy, she was maintaining the illusion of being happy and our son was happy, there were no evident indcations of what she was planning. To this day I have no idea why she did what she did.
The hardest part after the immediate aftermath was regaining the ability to trust people, even those already close to me. I questioned the motives for everyone's actions; for a long time, no-one new to me was ever accepted at face value.
My only real advise is don't hold onto anger and resentment, this will eat away at your very existence, no amount of revenge would ever bring back what was taken from me that day. Accept the facts of what has happened, focus your thoughts on the future, don't dwell on the details, and don't apportion any blame towards yourself. Its easy to sit and type these things now, I didn't do any of these things, at the time. I mixed anger, resentment, revenge, alcohol and other substances together to create a situation which could have cost me a lot more than I had already lost.
Women - cant live with them and cant live with them!!!!
The part that was hard to accept was that she had been working this out for some time, and she wanted to ensure I was left with absolutely nothing. I was not aware anything was wrong in our relationship, I was happy, she was maintaining the illusion of being happy and our son was happy, there were no evident indcations of what she was planning. To this day I have no idea why she did what she did.
The hardest part after the immediate aftermath was regaining the ability to trust people, even those already close to me. I questioned the motives for everyone's actions; for a long time, no-one new to me was ever accepted at face value.
My only real advise is don't hold onto anger and resentment, this will eat away at your very existence, no amount of revenge would ever bring back what was taken from me that day. Accept the facts of what has happened, focus your thoughts on the future, don't dwell on the details, and don't apportion any blame towards yourself. Its easy to sit and type these things now, I didn't do any of these things, at the time. I mixed anger, resentment, revenge, alcohol and other substances together to create a situation which could have cost me a lot more than I had already lost.
Women - cant live with them and cant live with them!!!!
04 August 2012, 08:23 AM
#26
Time sorts everything out. It could be a month, or 10 years but you'll look back at this situation one day and realise its not as bad as it seems. Its not what you want to hear right now, you want a quick fix like chinning someone or ******** some younger model and parading her in front of your ex. Coming from someone with plenty of experience of thin blue mat's in cells its not always the best option.
You need to be selfish and spoil yourself. The holiday to Thailand sounds like a very good idea, get out there even if you end up paying for company you can do all the things your ex wouldn't. This will be ammunition against the ex, that whatever they have done together, you'll have done more shameful stuff.
Sort out the financial side of things and living arrangements to work to your advantage. For example, let her and her new man have the kids. The kids may be excited by the new bloke to begin with who will try to spoil them to win their affection, but in the long run they will always resent him. If you own a house agree to help pay the mortgage but make sure the house will always be x% yours, or allow her to buy you out.
Try to think of some things you've always wanted to do and have been restricted. Make a list and one by one start ticking those things off, or at least working towards them. A Ferrari maybe, or big mods to your scoob. The more you work at doing all these things, the faster a woman will come along to spoil them.
The worst thing for me was having too much time to think, plot and plan. The best thing was getting a job on nights, working 12 hrs a night leaves very little time for anything but sleep.
She had a decent bloke and kids and it wasn't enough, so whatever happens with her and her new fella in the future their future doesn't look bright, especially as he has the morals of an ally cat.
You need to be selfish and spoil yourself. The holiday to Thailand sounds like a very good idea, get out there even if you end up paying for company you can do all the things your ex wouldn't. This will be ammunition against the ex, that whatever they have done together, you'll have done more shameful stuff.
Sort out the financial side of things and living arrangements to work to your advantage. For example, let her and her new man have the kids. The kids may be excited by the new bloke to begin with who will try to spoil them to win their affection, but in the long run they will always resent him. If you own a house agree to help pay the mortgage but make sure the house will always be x% yours, or allow her to buy you out.
Try to think of some things you've always wanted to do and have been restricted. Make a list and one by one start ticking those things off, or at least working towards them. A Ferrari maybe, or big mods to your scoob. The more you work at doing all these things, the faster a woman will come along to spoil them
. The worst thing for me was having too much time to think, plot and plan. The best thing was getting a job on nights, working 12 hrs a night leaves very little time for anything but sleep.
She had a decent bloke and kids and it wasn't enough, so whatever happens with her and her new fella in the future their future doesn't look bright, especially as he has the morals of an ally cat.
Last edited by Kwik; 04 August 2012 at 08:26 AM.
04 August 2012, 09:53 AM
#27
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04 August 2012, 10:02 AM
#28
Cheers for all the advice guys, much appreciated !
I would of course, like to chin him, but, as has been said, she had moved out (if i take it on face value) and would it get her back and more importantly, would i want her back- NO.
What hurts most is 15 yrs together yet ive been replaced in say, from her version, 6 weeks !!!
She had such a cusdhy life, i was no saint, argued over little things, but i devoted my time to her and the kids, so am now kind of in a billy no mates situation as i let most my friends pass by to be with her, yet let her go out with her friends, mistake i see now but you live and learn !
Cheers again and sorry to some of the guys whose stories sound a bit worse than mine, its good to hear we do get over these situations, its the losing weight and not eating part i hate LOL
cheers
I would of course, like to chin him, but, as has been said, she had moved out (if i take it on face value) and would it get her back and more importantly, would i want her back- NO.
What hurts most is 15 yrs together yet ive been replaced in say, from her version, 6 weeks !!!
She had such a cusdhy life, i was no saint, argued over little things, but i devoted my time to her and the kids, so am now kind of in a billy no mates situation as i let most my friends pass by to be with her, yet let her go out with her friends, mistake i see now but you live and learn !
Cheers again and sorry to some of the guys whose stories sound a bit worse than mine, its good to hear we do get over these situations, its the losing weight and not eating part i hate LOL
cheers
04 August 2012, 10:09 AM
#29
One other point, the hardest part for me is seeing her every other day when i collect the kids etc, she wants to be friends and is being nice to me, so there is no hostility between us, its me who struggles to be cival LOL, i needed some cash for food as i`m uber skint, as i pay the mortgage bills in my current place, she moved out, and she gave me £20, so its hard she is being nice even tho she knows im hurting about her and her new fella LOL, maybe its guilt, who knows !?!?
cheers again
cheers again
04 August 2012, 10:53 AM
#30
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Why? It isn't his fault, it is your wife's. I never understood this. Yes he is a willing participant obviously, but the person "doing wrong" is not really him.