I am on the train and there is a girl sitting opposite me.

No make up, hair in a utility cut, clothes made from straw you know the type. You wouldn't believe what she is reading...

...Global Warming - Stage 1 - Open University. And then she was watching Al Gore on her iPad.*


But the best bit is...


...she had the most amazing norks!!!!





* My strategy of flashing my Porsche keys (badge up of course) whilst reading evo didn't seem to make much headway with this one

 

Didn't you manage a sneaky nork pic on your phone?

It's not the Porsche keys and evo that weren't working - it may be that she's a lezza.

Or she thinks you're an ugly muffin.

 

So... strategy for the train tomorrow...

Sandals, a knitted jumper and dreadlocks?

Edit - better make that a dreadlock wig, if my memory serves me correctly.

 

Did she look like this?

 

Luckily much, much better.

Mind you there must be scope as she had an iPhone and an iPad both of which contain blood minerals from the Congo so she can't have been irretrieveably right on!!

 

Maybe you should have just got your tiny pecker out instead?

 

That's the problem with being male really, if there is a nice pair in the room then you cant focus on anything else, it isn't us being pervs and treating women as sex objects we cant help it, its like putting a plate of Sausages in front of a hungry Dog and expecting it not to look and dribble a bit. Doesn't excuse leering and no gentleman should ever touch or make lewd comments but a crafty butchers is acceptable, every five or six seconds.

I have said it before but its perfectly innocent us looking, we are just thinking about kneading them, watching them swing about, nibbling on the nips and then ejaculating all over them, see, all perfectly innocent

 

mustve been an old book, its climate change, not global warming anymore.

and if you dont look at whats on display - your gay lol

 

I was entirely surprised by this as well.

 

Haaa! it's like that wee flash of knicker, no matter how many times you tell yourself not too look/stare you just can't bloody help it, must be something in our Genes.




























or should that be something in our Jeans more like!

 

It's human instant to breed. Like a virus.. Finding the next mate but not too crazy like Ted Bundy you should of stood up, train hits a bump and you accendently fall... Grabbing a boob by accident IS acceptable...

 

Dunno about you, but I can keep going for hours....

 

Yes, it is the emergency chain that incurs a £50 fine.

 

ipad iphone and global warming? like a veggie wearin ga gas meat dress!!! nice norks override this tho!!!!

 

It is totally acceptable for the lady whose boobie is grabbed, to give the perpetrator a black eye


Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy, "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

 

Print out a copy of The Skeptics Handbook to read on your next journey, and see if you can strike up a conversation

mb

 

PMSL laughing, love it

 

FYI

Goth wimmins smell of venison gravy

*slurps* <-- but not on public transport due to CCTV

 

Eau d'eer!

 

What exactly was getting warm ... your undercrackers?!

TX.