Where does all the sadness end?
19 March 2011, 07:40 AM
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Where does all the sadness end?
I can't sleep right now as I have just recently had some devastating news. News that has left me empty right now.
Last week a friend of ten years passed away after losing an ongoing battle with a brain tumour. And yesterday a true friend, honestly one of my closest ever friends, made it known he has now officially lost the battle to cancer, and is now diagnosed as terminal.
Add this to the 2 family members (one being mum) who are both terminal with cancer too, and it all becomes a little too much to cope with.
I'm not writing this (nor the blog entry) through self pity, but more to try and make sense of how the hell it can all happen like this.
My thoughts as ever are with anyone fighting this cruel disease, but are very much with his family right now. Its been a long hard fight.
Sad as it seems, I just want the world to know how I feel about this lil fella, so please feel free to read the following...
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...never-had.html
I wrote another thought provoking entry after Tas died too, which I wanted to share....
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ver-comes.html
I know a few on here get off on screaming "attention seeker" and if you are one of those, please spare this thread your usual ridicule. This is in honour of a great friend, and I am just making sure people know how proud I am that he is my friend
Last week a friend of ten years passed away after losing an ongoing battle with a brain tumour. And yesterday a true friend, honestly one of my closest ever friends, made it known he has now officially lost the battle to cancer, and is now diagnosed as terminal.
Add this to the 2 family members (one being mum) who are both terminal with cancer too, and it all becomes a little too much to cope with.
I'm not writing this (nor the blog entry) through self pity, but more to try and make sense of how the hell it can all happen like this.
My thoughts as ever are with anyone fighting this cruel disease, but are very much with his family right now. Its been a long hard fight.
Sad as it seems, I just want the world to know how I feel about this lil fella, so please feel free to read the following...
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...never-had.html
I wrote another thought provoking entry after Tas died too, which I wanted to share....
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ver-comes.html
I know a few on here get off on screaming "attention seeker" and if you are one of those, please spare this thread your usual ridicule. This is in honour of a great friend, and I am just making sure people know how proud I am that he is my friend
Last edited by Snazy; 19 March 2011 at 10:08 AM.
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19 March 2011, 09:37 AM
#8
My experience was about 3 years ago, but everytime you hear the word it brings it all back.
Make the most of the time left with your friend, as my grandads last two weeks for me were spent offshore. I managed to get home in time for him passing away.
It gets easier over time and hopefully you have people there for you to help you through it as my family is large we were all there for each other.
My sympathy goes out to you.
Doug
Make the most of the time left with your friend, as my grandads last two weeks for me were spent offshore. I managed to get home in time for him passing away.
It gets easier over time and hopefully you have people there for you to help you through it as my family is large we were all there for each other.
My sympathy goes out to you.
Doug
19 March 2011, 09:47 AM
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Michael, I've had the same jibes thrown to me in the past and regardless of what folk may say it is simply your way of expressing yourself. We both wear our hearts on our sleeves and I genuinely, genuinely pass on my best wishes to your friend and also your mum.
Remember to look after yourself though to buddy, midwife told me last night at the hospital that when you have someone dependant on you, you owe it to them to make sure you're in good condition too.
All the best mate, pm me if you want to vent.
Andy
Remember to look after yourself though to buddy, midwife told me last night at the hospital that when you have someone dependant on you, you owe it to them to make sure you're in good condition too.
All the best mate, pm me if you want to vent.
Andy
19 March 2011, 09:59 AM
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dont give up mate b strong because 15 years ago my mum was told she only had a 20% chance of living after breast cancer.she pulled through and is still with us 2day also a mate was told 2 years ago he had 6 months 2 live he has now been giving the all clear so it goes 2 show you have 2 keep the faith because you never know
19 March 2011, 10:13 AM
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Cheers Doug, death is something I am getting quite familiar with now. Lost my oldest friend in July to a motorcycle accident and another 2 in the past 2 years on bikes too, that's just the bike side of things!
Andy so true mate and always good to know there are some sensible ones out there who get it.
Steve, I have faith mate truly do mum has been fighting breast cancer for 3 years now, but is also diagnosed with lung and brain cancer too now and is going down hill. Aunt has breast and bone cancer, and is stable but terminal. The friend I speak of has a multitude of medical conditions, and has been fighting lymphoma and more recently bowel cancer. I hope he has an eternity left, but has also been in so much discomfort for so long too.
Andy so true mate and always good to know there are some sensible ones out there who get it.
Steve, I have faith mate truly do mum has been fighting breast cancer for 3 years now, but is also diagnosed with lung and brain cancer too now and is going down hill. Aunt has breast and bone cancer, and is stable but terminal. The friend I speak of has a multitude of medical conditions, and has been fighting lymphoma and more recently bowel cancer. I hope he has an eternity left, but has also been in so much discomfort for so long too.
19 March 2011, 11:22 AM
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At CoB and Michael - i do not and have not ever seen you as attention seeking or attention ****** and it is rather sad people have comments as such in the past.
19 March 2011, 11:40 AM
#15
Between me and the mrs both our mothers were diagnosed with cancer within a year of each other but both surrvived luckily.My father died 12 months earlier with lung cancer even though he never smoked.It all seems to come together (hang in there).
19 March 2011, 11:53 AM
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Cant say how sorry I am at your loss Snazy. Many of us will have had similar experiences, but you are having far more than your fair share.
You know of course that SN is right behind you and we all wish to support you in these difficult times. There is nothing more than we can say except that life is often very hard and to encourage you to stick with it.
I hope that time will make things easier for you even though it will never remove the sorrow that you are feeling.
Les
You know of course that SN is right behind you and we all wish to support you in these difficult times. There is nothing more than we can say except that life is often very hard and to encourage you to stick with it.
I hope that time will make things easier for you even though it will never remove the sorrow that you are feeling.
Les
19 March 2011, 12:34 PM
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Snaz, all you can do is cope as best as you can and in time things will feel better, and just becasue you start feeling better it doesn't mean you have forgotten them or think of them any less.
time is a great healer and that saying is true.
time is a great healer and that saying is true.
19 March 2011, 01:10 PM
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Cheers for all the comments and shared stories guy, heartwarming.
I have an appointment this afternoon then will be straight up to see my mate and his family.
Amazing that the past 2 weeks of taking respite from mum, I have ended up with other grief instead but I'm not the one suffering so can't whine.
Thursday we have Tas's funeral, so god knows what else is to come that week.
I have an appointment this afternoon then will be straight up to see my mate and his family.
Amazing that the past 2 weeks of taking respite from mum, I have ended up with other grief instead but I'm not the one suffering so can't whine.
Thursday we have Tas's funeral, so god knows what else is to come that week.
19 March 2011, 02:09 PM
#21
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Life is a cruel thing.
I lost my grandmother and a very good friend to Cancer, it's a horrible thing for people to go through, and awful to watch them go through it.
My friend did tell me that when she knew it was her time that was it. She didn't want to be taking drugs and being monitered in hospital. She wanted to be at home, with her family.
It was such a sad thing to see this vibrant woman who was so special to take such a terrible decline, but she truly and openly was prepared. She knew she would die and she dealt with it. It was all the people around her that couldn't accept the fact she wouldn't be around at the moment.
I'm feeling a bit like you at the moment Snazy. I'm still not in a place where I can feel happy, but my children bring a smile to my face.
I'm trying to shake off my feeling of greif and selfishness but people keep on telling me to give myself a break.
Under circumstances like this, being open and honest about your feelings is the best thing to do. At least then if you go off on one (like I did last night) people can understand how and why you are behaving the way you are.
I lost my grandmother and a very good friend to Cancer, it's a horrible thing for people to go through, and awful to watch them go through it.
My friend did tell me that when she knew it was her time that was it. She didn't want to be taking drugs and being monitered in hospital. She wanted to be at home, with her family.
It was such a sad thing to see this vibrant woman who was so special to take such a terrible decline, but she truly and openly was prepared. She knew she would die and she dealt with it. It was all the people around her that couldn't accept the fact she wouldn't be around at the moment.
I'm feeling a bit like you at the moment Snazy. I'm still not in a place where I can feel happy, but my children bring a smile to my face.
I'm trying to shake off my feeling of greif and selfishness but people keep on telling me to give myself a break.
Under circumstances like this, being open and honest about your feelings is the best thing to do. At least then if you go off on one (like I did last night) people can understand how and why you are behaving the way you are.
19 March 2011, 05:01 PM
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all you can do mate is be strong for yourself and for the familys affected by this ur not superman but you will get through it.good luck 2 you ur family and ur mate
19 March 2011, 06:17 PM
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Very sorry to hear all this, Michael.
My very close friend was diagnosed with Myeloid 9 months ago, was responding well to treatment but now has a problem with his liver which will pack up completely within the next 6 months or so.
Nothing can be done for him so he's now at home waiting to die. He's 53.
The father of another close friend has MND and has also just this week been diagnosed with kidney, liver and lung cancer - again terminal.
All the best mate, and keep your chin up.
My very close friend was diagnosed with Myeloid 9 months ago, was responding well to treatment but now has a problem with his liver which will pack up completely within the next 6 months or so.
Nothing can be done for him so he's now at home waiting to die. He's 53.
The father of another close friend has MND and has also just this week been diagnosed with kidney, liver and lung cancer - again terminal.
All the best mate, and keep your chin up.
21 March 2011, 01:41 AM
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It doesn't end. You get on with your life privately, deal with whatever life throws at you without berating complete strangers about it, and grow a pair. That is all.
21 March 2011, 09:38 AM
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Each to their own and all that