Turbo2

No I don't mean just for keeping your beer cool when you're on holiday!

I know they were a status symbol back in the late 70's and early 80's and that no aspiring middle-class house was designed without one at that time, but have any of you actually used one? What do you do? Do they just hose your crack down? How do you know if it's really clean? Give your **** a rub with a face towel? Are they better than bog roll? I mean in these austere times we need to make savings wherever we can and bog-roll could be a luxury that we can ill-afford, so it might be time to wipe down those dusty old bidets and change our habits.

NB: Bidets even have a wikipedia entry as follows:

"A bidet is a low-mounted plumbing fixture or type of sink intended for washing the genitalia, inner buttocks, and anus."

Makes it sound rather nice, don't you think?

jasey

Used one once - getting the temp right is crucial (as I found out to my cost).

all the potential pitfalls you describe are why I only used it once.

Could never understand why public bidets never caught on

bigsinky

scalded ring piece, not funny *shakes head

jasey

It's funny how something feels fine in your hand but not so fine when it's on your ar$e

dpb

Are they not a hang over from the promiscuous 70's

hodgy0_2

i thought they just present and easier target for body fluids (both ends) when comming back home half cut

Turbo2

Come to think of it, unless you wipe-up with bog-roll anyway (which ruins my money-saving plan), there must be a critical period of a few seconds when you transfer yourself from bog to bidet. Could be very awkward with your pants and trousers down by your ankles and God knows what kind of excrement dangling precariously off your bum hairs. Presumably you're supposed to set the bidet tap running and to temperature before you make this delicate manoeuvre? Otherwise I can see the whole operation ending up as an embarassing mess of cack-coated bidet taps and ****-stained pants and carpets.

JackClark

Japanese toilets with the squirty jet built in are bliss. Never spent so much time on the throne.

hodgy0_2

can you not get the "squirty jet" app for the Iphone and experience it here

P1Fanatic

Lol I always wondered why these didnt catch on as sound more hygienic than bog roll. Perhaps to dry off have an inverted hand dryer - just dont get too close or you might singe your butt hairs on top of scalding your ring piece

JackClark

Of course http://www.stippy.com/only-in-japan/...t-flush-sound/

boxst

mamoon2

^^^ ish1t

Turbo2

Earlier this year I stayed in a posh hotel in Mumbai which had a techno-toilet with loads of gadgets, most of which I never really understood. It even had a heated seat and a multi-coloured illuminated rim . The latter was ideal as I was up all night with Delhi Belly and so being able to find the toilet pronto prevented any unpleasant mishaps.

Jamie

Have done a few times in newyork

Jamie

Same here when i was in turkey

David Lock

I thought they were mostly for use in French brothels so the girls could "freshen up" between clients.

Can anyone on here confirm this?

dl

David_Dickson

IMO they make sense. If you somehow get **** on your hands, you wash them under a tap dont you? Wiping it a few times with tissue isn't acceptable, yet is supposed to be ok for your **** after a dump?

Leslie

If you use more paper it helps to avoid getting it on your hands!

You have to be pretty agile to use the squirty bit on your feet though!

Les

Ant

Only used them when I went to turkey last year, quite refreshing

hodgy0_2

I can confirm this

I worked as a bidet in a french brothel during my gap year

David Lock

Always wondered why it was called gap year.....

Leslie

So thats the explanation!

Les

bigsinky

Thats what my girlfriend says about my 12" ****

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

had one in my old house but never attempted to use it , the toilet roll was always sufficiant and my mum wouldnt be to happy about me drying my **** on her white towels

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

bigsinky

its a bit like wiping your **** on the curtains after sex, that drives them mad to. (not your mum btw, but women in general)

LG John

I used one of the toilets with built in spray when I was in Egypt. To be honest, I thought it was a lot more hygenic. I would use the spray first and then finish off with bog roll (and use a lot less of it). Felt cleaner and refreshed and this is someone that destroys his ring with 1/2 a bog roll each time to ensure I am 100% clean.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

I have a bidet here and one in the French property.

Can't beat them for avoiding sweaty, not-quite-clean a-holes and the resultant rhino