Reunion
01 August 2010, 09:28 AM
#1
Reunion
Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High School. They
rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch
in a wine bar.
Rachel arrives first, wearing camel Versace. She orders a bottle of
chilled Chablis. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After
the required ritualized kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of Chablis. Then
Samantha walks in, wearing a faded old Barbour anorak, blue jeans and
Wellington boots. She too shares the wine.
Rachel explains that after leaving school and graduating from Princeton
majoring in the Classics she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a
beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law
firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna,
thedaughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in the hills above Monte Carlo.
Clare relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a
Consultant Gynecologist. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street
investment banker. They live on Long Island and have a second home in
Florida.
Samantha explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her
boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in California and grow their
own vegetables. Ben can stand five parrots, side by side, on his *****.
Half way down the third bottle of Chablis, several hours later, Rachel
blurts out her husband isn't Tim, he's Tom and he's a cashier at Wal-Mart.
They live in a small condo in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at
a nearby storage facility.
Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that
she and Clive are nurses in Bellevue. They live in Jersey City and
vacation at a motel in Orlando.
Samantha confesses that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch
in a wine bar.
Rachel arrives first, wearing camel Versace. She orders a bottle of
chilled Chablis. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After
the required ritualized kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of Chablis. Then
Samantha walks in, wearing a faded old Barbour anorak, blue jeans and
Wellington boots. She too shares the wine.
Rachel explains that after leaving school and graduating from Princeton
majoring in the Classics she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a
beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law
firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna,
thedaughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in the hills above Monte Carlo.
Clare relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a
Consultant Gynecologist. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street
investment banker. They live on Long Island and have a second home in
Florida.
Samantha explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her
boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in California and grow their
own vegetables. Ben can stand five parrots, side by side, on his *****.
Half way down the third bottle of Chablis, several hours later, Rachel
blurts out her husband isn't Tim, he's Tom and he's a cashier at Wal-Mart.
They live in a small condo in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at
a nearby storage facility.
Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that
she and Clive are nurses in Bellevue. They live in Jersey City and
vacation at a motel in Orlando.
Samantha confesses that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
01 August 2010, 08:26 PM
#5
Very good 
A lady takes her parrot to the Vet. The Vet takes one look and says,
"I'm afraid your parrot is dead."
"That's terrible," says the woman, "How can you know that. You haven't
examined it or anything."
The Vet heaves a long-suffering sigh, places the parrot on the
examination table, opens the door and whistles. At this, a labrador dog
bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, sniffs at the parrot,
looks up and shakes its head sadly. Then the Vet gives another whistle
and a cat comes into the room, springs up onto the table, sniffs the
parrot and then shakes its head sadly.
"Well I'm terribly sorry Mrs Jones but there can be no doubt about it.
Polly is dead."
"Well, it's devastating news but thank you. How much do I owe you?"
"That will be six hundred and forty two pounds please."
"How much?" cried the woman in shock. "That's far too much money!"
"Well it's your own fault," Said the Vet, "If you had believed me in the
first place it would only have been twenty pounds. But you insisted on
a Lab report and a Cat scan!"
A lady takes her parrot to the Vet. The Vet takes one look and says,
"I'm afraid your parrot is dead."
"That's terrible," says the woman, "How can you know that. You haven't
examined it or anything."
The Vet heaves a long-suffering sigh, places the parrot on the
examination table, opens the door and whistles. At this, a labrador dog
bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, sniffs at the parrot,
looks up and shakes its head sadly. Then the Vet gives another whistle
and a cat comes into the room, springs up onto the table, sniffs the
parrot and then shakes its head sadly.
"Well I'm terribly sorry Mrs Jones but there can be no doubt about it.
Polly is dead."
"Well, it's devastating news but thank you. How much do I owe you?"
"That will be six hundred and forty two pounds please."
"How much?" cried the woman in shock. "That's far too much money!"
"Well it's your own fault," Said the Vet, "If you had believed me in the
first place it would only have been twenty pounds. But you insisted on
a Lab report and a Cat scan!"
01 August 2010, 09:23 PM
#6
Scooby Regular
A patient says to her doctor, "Doctor, would you please kiss me?"
doctor says, "you are a very beautiful woman, but no. It would be against my code of ethics."
"Please, just one kiss," she pleads.
"Sorry," says the doctor, "it's out of the question. In fact, you probably shouldn't even be sucking my ****!"
doctor says, "you are a very beautiful woman, but no. It would be against my code of ethics."
"Please, just one kiss," she pleads.
"Sorry," says the doctor, "it's out of the question. In fact, you probably shouldn't even be sucking my ****!"
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