pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Hes been crying all day .. I suggested we give him a top up (to add to breast) but that was not a good idea .. so we called the Labour ward about 2 hours ago and they suggested a top up .. (now its a good idea)

So off to Tesco to get bottle, heater and cleaning thing ..

All done .. 30mls taken by crying machine.. winded.. lay down and crying again ..

Nappy clean .. I'm very tired and am getting frustrated .. I've left him with her and come on here... any advice? please

phil_wrx

iTrader: (2)

not much mate, feed them, make sure there clean and warm and try and get to sleep, parenthood is hell to start with mate but good luck and its well worth it

sbk1972

My boy is 3 months old and Im in the same situation. He's dry, fed, clean but still not happy and cries.

What I found helps, is driving him around in my pajero. The nosie, vibrations sends him to sleep in about 10 mins. Give that ago. Also, putting him in his pram, and walking him round the block helps too.

After a fed, do you burp him ? As a new father I wasnt too sure how hard to tap his back, but you do get used to it. I sit him up, and pat, firmly, his middle back and wait for the belch. Or I lay him out over my lap, like I was going to spank him, and `pitter patter` his back with my hands :-)

When they get tired, they can get over tired, and cry like gits ! Also, their attention span is short, so what may work for 5 mins, will soon pi55 him off and make him cry.

It really is a learning game my friend. The trick is try not to get too upset, as they feel the vibe from you. ITs hard, and boy I still dont know what Im doing, but you soon get to learn the signs, the different types of crying, different noises.

Failing that, give the child to his mother and go out :-) Women constantly say how men are usless with children and how they are the best sex regarding kids, ok, so prove it, leave the little devil with her :-)

SBK

tanyatriangles

iTrader: (2)

My eldest, now 23, would cry all the time some days, but he went to sleep in his car seat, plus if I walked around holding him. I could then put him down gently and all was well.

I DON'T recommend the latter for longterm, or he'll get used to going off like that and you're stuck with it

You sure he's not got a bit of infant colic?

EddScott

We did this. Sometimes our daughter would not settle so we dumped her in the car and just drove round a bit. Same thing would happen - asleep ASAP. Come home and leave her in her car seat for a bit.

Good luck.

The Zohan

Spot on mate!

Have a word with the community midwife when she next visits. From memory they call once a week for the first few weeks or if in doubt then the NHS helpline.

)Congratulations BTW

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

or a pram/walker thing if you have one. Helps calm your nerves as well :-/

dpb

its what babies do isnt it ?

hodgy0_2

had 5 myself

babies cry full stop (the only thing I had a particular thing about was making sure the nappies not "pinching" anywhere)

all you can do is make sure they are warm and fed -- you haven't even got to the "wind" stage at around week 6 to week 12 no THATS a killer

it only last 2 to 3 years BTW then they get human -- with all the associated problems

oh and before you have realised it they are teenagers, now thats fun

njkmrs

If baby hasnt settled yet there is no harm in a trip to the docs or local clinic,to have them checked out .

As said ,could it be a bit of Colic .If so no amount of soothing will stop it ,so medicine I think can be prescribed .

Good Luck .

mamoon2

Get some Infacol mate! it works wonders for wind, it has a dropper that you use to administer it. Really helps with Colic/Wind.

When my son was born, he cried every hour for food (you can tell the crys), it was because he wasn't getting enough milk from the breast. As soon as we put him on formula, the difference was amazing.

hodgy0_2

we found Gripe Water worked better for Colic

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

Put the hoover on or some music. I always found it worked but he might cry when you switch it off

David Lock

In my book "Lazy Dad's Guide to Bringing Up Kids" there is a section on exactly this problem in Chapter 6 "The Little Sod Won't Go To Sleep"

Armed with a beer and a comfortable chair you put said crying child in pram in the lounge after ensuring the wife has checked all the usual things. You then tie a long bit of string to pram handle and a small bit of wood to outside of a pram wheel so that pram rides gently up and down when pushed/pulled.

With your favourite TV programme on you then repeatedly push pram away from you and pull back to you using string.

This used to work a treat but just take care not to push too vigorously and tip pram over or wifey will get cross.

sbk1972

Good point about not feeding enough. To start with my son wasnt getting enough milk from his mum, as his mum was trying to loose her baby wieght and diet. :-( When a baby breastfeeds, the first few minutes can be considered ` a drink`, as the heavier milk comes at the end, which is the `food`.

So, make sure mummy is drinking lots of water and eating well, and not trying to loose weight the minute she leaves the hopsital, like my pain in the **** did :-)

Also, it could be that he's a bit fded up of mummmy, as when Im round her for more than 5 mins, listening to her advice, I start to cry. !

SBK

SBK

Hysteria1983

As you say your partner is breastfeeding maybe there is just some tweeking needed with feeds, does she put lo to breast evertime? It needs to be done as much as possible at first. The top ups can help, but beware introduction of too many as baby can get lazy at the breast.
Try a good feed, then swaddle baby up tight with a flat sheet, you can get special swaddle blankets too. Then either put some good tunes on with some base, or put on the hoover. Always worked for me.
And get the wind up too!

Matteeboy

Pimmo - is he being badly sick after feeds? Ours was really crying after every feed and we found out he had acid reflux. It meant giving him a dose of infant Gaviscon before every feed. The GP was hopeless - it took a breast feeding expert to suggest it might be the problem. Really eased it. Seems much more common in baby boys than girls.

Could be colic as suggested - I'm afraid that's simply a case of three months of lots of crying.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

I have to say if I knew it was going to be like this I might well have pulled out ..

I'm in no way lazy and am willing to do what I can, but I cant operate on no sleep... it just cant be done ..

Thank you for all the replies, hes had a tiny bit of blood in his nappy with means hes not feeding enough and the MF is due today so ... hopefully some tips will come with her.

I'm so scared I'll resent him and at the moment I feel like I've been given some terrible news and my stomach is in knots..

Matteeboy

Pimmo - hang in there. We have a group called "Breast Friends" (no laughing anyone) - really good advice there on all aspects of baby issues. Find something like this and share the problems. See a health visitor (demand they come over), get relatives to help out - find somewhere to get an hour or two of kip that's quiet. Work in shifts with your other half. Get grandparents to cook for you both and freeze some meals. You have to go into "crisis" mode sometimes (we experienced it when we lost a baby at 37.5 weeks the year before) to get through bad patches. Then he'll coo or grin or similar and it will all be worthwhile.

Coffin Dodger

Just sound proof the nursery, job done.

I'm sure it'll get bored of crying eventually especially if it doesn't result in getting what it wanted.

Matteeboy

Oh and resentment is pointless - up until about 9 months, babies don't ever do anything to be annoying - they are just babies! And they also don't "get bored!"

SCOsazOBY

Dont worry my boy was the same. The midwife suggested buying a tommee tippee newborn natural dummy as it represents a nipple. I would give it to him on a night after everything else had failed and it used to keep him quiet. I dont like dummys and he never got attached to it because he is a blankie boy

Also give a top up of formula after the breast on the last night feed and he will soon be fuller for longer. Remember on the breast they drink less but more often.

Also get your wife to lay him down next to her in your bed as he has a night feed and he will doze off to sleep. I was very anxious when my MW suggested this as you have it drummed in to you to not put them in your bed in case you squash them but you will be surprised how your natural instincts kick in to stop you doing that.

Hysteria1983

Pimmo, these first few weeks are the hardest, but remember to stay calm. Nothin bad will happen from a baby crying. It is the baby's only way of communicating. It does sound alarming, but its supposed to, otherwise we wouldn't take any notice.
Is it realeted to the feeding at all? Or is it still early days? I know sometimes it can take some women a fair few days to a week maybe for their milk to come in, and when it does baby has to get used to the difference between the colostrum and the milk that mum produces. Although breast milk is finely tuned to suit each individual baby, some of them are still a little sensitive to it at first.
As the midwife will visit regularly at the moment bring it up with her and don't be fobbed off. Get her to check that baby is latched onto the breast correctly and is having a good satisfying feed when he is there. Is you are not happy with her advice , insist that she has a breastfeeding counselor comes over to 100% eliminate that. Believe me it is best to get these things knocked on the head asap so that you can both get some sort of normailty sorted.
Is there a certain time of day that he is unsettled? Is it linked to feeds, maybe trapped wind? Or is he generally unsettled?

Matteeboy

Scosa - apparently you can ONLY do that if breastfeeding exclusively - otherwise the mother doesn't have that instinct not the squash the baby. If only breastfeeding, a mum simply will not squash a baby - all instinct driven a bloody amazing! And the bloke must be the other side too - blokes don't have the "non crush" instinct at all and I have heard one tale of the worst possible thing happening when the bloke squashed the little one.

mrs_b4

Could be he's constipated my daughter suffered with that from a few week's old I was told to massage her stomach leg's and lower back,when all else failed lubed up a cotton bud and manually relieved hard stool,under health visitor's instruction's the relief on my daughter's face was priceless,only did this twice no reason for constipation either ,even if he's pooing there still could be some sort of blockage worth checking out if you've exhausted all other avenue's.
Hang in there it's hard those first few month's but it does get better promise

hodgy0_2

I know every baby is different -- but I disagree with the above, i found that for the first 6 weeks the baby pretty much eats sleeps and ****s, usually in a curled little blob -- with eyes closed fingers clenched etc etc and as a bloke you cant really do much especially if you wife/partner is breast feeding

its at week 6 that the **** hits the fan -- literally, and usually when Colic kicks in, when, i,m afraid its 5 to 6 weeks of walking around after every feed trying to get a burp up.

Just thank your lucky stars you didn't have twins, coz we had twins, and we thanked our lucky stars we didnt get triplets

off your chin straps, wined your neck in and get stuck in -- its worth it in the end

you could always throw money at the problem and get a maternity nurse -- they do the nights!!!

FlightMan

Just make sure he's fed. Trouble with breast milk is there's no gauge on the boob that let's you know how much he's had!

It gets easier Pimmo.





















He'll have moved out in 18 years.

Hysteria1983

I just noticed that you said there was some blood in his nappy, the only thing that could cause that would be if he was constipated. Is he doing at least two poo's at the moment? At first a breastfed baby can poo abut 2-4 times a day, and it will gradually get less and less until maybe once a week is the average. That is perfectly fine as the milk has a lot less waste compared to formula, so they do poo a lot less. A great bonus to breastfeeding!
The massage would be a great idea like Mrs B4 suggested. That encourages the bowels to move things downwards and out, weather it be wind or poo. Use some massage oil, or olive oil works well, and it is more natural than some crappy marketed stuff than pongs to high heaven!
Start to the left of the abdomen very lightly and work clockwise using two fingers in a circular motion and work around the belly back to where you start. then gently raise baby by the ankles and support him under his lower back. Then move his legs slowly around in a circle and bend them slightly towards his chest, do that 6 times.
I hope that is clear enough. If not, get a book as it REALLY works like magic!!!

When/if you decide to give it a go, be prepared for loads of wind and maybe a poo to come out at some point. I swer it saved my sanity with my son!

Hysteria1983

That really helps out! Going to make Pimmo feel great.... Not!

I found that yes, the colic does strike at 6 weeks, BUT.... if you have your back covered with a good winding technique , massage to get any wind that's lurking then the colic can by pass quite easily.

Colic is a simple cycle of trapped wind where a baby cannot be relieved from the feeling of, being full from wind, or full from milk. They cry for a feed, fill up on a belly with a little wind still left in it. They then the wind passes from their belly, to the bowel, and then they feel hungry again as their belly is only half full. And it is a vicious circle. The best way to tackle colic is to get that bloomin' wind out asap. So baby (and everyone else) can relax.
The reason this only happens at 6 weeks is because that is when baby usually starts to attempt to establish a feeding routien and before then it is usually a case of feed on demand...... little and often. As the baby feeds more, wind becomes a bigger issue.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Sorry guys, Mid wife has been and we've been over some concerns .. I'll keep on at it... thank you for your posts, I dont have time to read right now, as I have to go get a breast pump .. but I will