WRX_Dazza

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.


When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,


'You Sign! You sign!'


Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.


Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder,


'You Sign! You sign!'


Nelson says to him, 'Look, you've obviously got the wrong man', and shuts the door in his face.


The next day he hears a knock at the door again.


When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.


He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,


'You sign! You sign!'


Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:


'Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!' Then he slams the door in his face again.


The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.


On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,


'You sign! You sign!'


Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.


This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him:


'Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?'


The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:



















(Wait for it)












(Get your best Chinese accent ready)




















'You not Nissan Main Deala?'

Jerome

So groanworthy, I may just have to inflict it on the guys at work.

WRX_Dazza

hahaha [awaits Swiss to come along and shoot me...]

Nurse Gladys

V Good!! Not heard it before - honest!

A

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, 'My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?'

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks
what the sound was, but they say,

'We can't tell you. You're not a monk'.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

That night, he hears the same strange, mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.


The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

'We can't tell you. You're not a monk.'

The man says, 'All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?'

The monks reply, 'you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.'

The man sets about his task.

Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, 'I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for.

There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.'

The monks reply, 'Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.'

We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the ****, but the door is locked.. He asks, 'May I have the key?'

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, 'This is the key to the last door.'

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the ****, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight..........
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. . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.



DON'T SWEAR AT ME; I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME!

dome

Funny, I always thought Nissan were Japanese, not Chinese...

I'll get me coat

subaruturbo_18

Made me chuckle.