AndrewW

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil,"
Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that
stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the
union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis
as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just
as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...
we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis
of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition.
In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you
can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was
swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

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Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate
status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia
said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with
Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria,
Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just
Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be
called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be
Asked to Host the Olympics;


Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of
Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries
Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a
false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay
denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked
them.