Question for the single guys and gals?
24 June 2008, 09:53 AM
#1
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Question for the single guys and gals?
OK Situation is:
You are single and meet someone who has 3 kids and still going through a divorce which is about half way through.
Would you start any kind of relationship with them or dismiss as a possibility because of the situation??
Discuss
S
You are single and meet someone who has 3 kids and still going through a divorce which is about half way through.
Would you start any kind of relationship with them or dismiss as a possibility because of the situation??
Discuss
S
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24 June 2008, 10:12 AM
#9
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As has been said be careful.
I got involved with someone with two kids and was engaged to be married and who works for me, so that was completely uncomplicated. But it was the best and worst time of my life (she gets married today btw)
Take it slow and see how it goes.
I got involved with someone with two kids and was engaged to be married and who works for me, so that was completely uncomplicated. But it was the best and worst time of my life (she gets married today btw)
Take it slow and see how it goes.
24 June 2008, 10:12 AM
#10
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Nail her a few times and send her packing. If she has a daughter that is old enough then angle-shoot for the mother/daughter combo and then send them both packing.
Film everything and post in on the net btw
Film everything and post in on the net btw
24 June 2008, 10:55 AM
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OK think I need to be a bit more specific for you all 
I met her a few months ago and are continuing to "take it slow". She is older than I and the children are early secondary school and infants. I try not to have too much to do with the children as I feel another man in there life may just confuse what is already a very confusing and difficult situation for them.
I am not going to jeopordise what could be potentially a very good thing for me (And her aswell ) for the sake of circumstances and baggage.
The way I see it we all have baggage in some shape or form.
The only questions I have over the whole thing would be:
Would she want to marry again??? (I would love to get married)
Would she want more kids?? (Again I can not wait until my later years when I am hopefully blessed with sprog)
The main reasson I asked in my OP was that the varying reaction we have both recieved when told about our relationship and thought I would ask a broader audience
Pete - No need as there were no natural child births involved.
Saxo - I am afraid I have no intention of unsatisfying two women at the same time let alone posting what would undoubtably look like embarassing fumblings on the net
S
I met her a few months ago and are continuing to "take it slow". She is older than I and the children are early secondary school and infants. I try not to have too much to do with the children as I feel another man in there life may just confuse what is already a very confusing and difficult situation for them.
I am not going to jeopordise what could be potentially a very good thing for me (And her aswell
) for the sake of circumstances and baggage.The way I see it we all have baggage in some shape or form.
The only questions I have over the whole thing would be:
Would she want to marry again??? (I would love to get married)
Would she want more kids?? (Again I can not wait until my later years when I am hopefully blessed with sprog)
The main reasson I asked in my OP was that the varying reaction we have both recieved when told about our relationship and thought I would ask a broader audience
Pete - No need as there were no natural child births involved.
Saxo - I am afraid I have no intention of unsatisfying two women at the same time let alone posting what would undoubtably look like embarassing fumblings on the net
S
24 June 2008, 10:57 AM
#12
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Best comment on SN this week.
Just proves that Pete is a man first and lentil munching leftie second!
Apart from the above, my advice to the OP would be: you'd be taking a lot on your plate, is that want you really want?
Topical joke:
I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy
He said " Thats a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yes" I replied, "They're in favour of it, 14 to 3..."
---------------------------------
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory.
Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from ?" she asked the nurse. "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them."
"Well," said the nurse, "the first is from the surgeon- the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks."
"Ahhh, thats really nice!" said Lucy.
"The second is from your husband- he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!"
"Brilliant!" said Lucy. "And the third?"
"Thats from Eric in the burns unit." said the nurse.
"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!"
24 June 2008, 11:04 AM
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OK think I need to be a bit more specific for you all
I met her a few months ago and are continuing to "take it slow". She is older than I and the children are early secondary school and infants. I try not to have too much to do with the children as I feel another man in there life may just confuse what is already a very confusing and difficult situation for them.
I am not going to jeopordise what could be potentially a very good thing for me (And her aswell ) for the sake of circumstances and baggage.
The way I see it we all have baggage in some shape or form.
The only questions I have over the whole thing would be:
Would she want to marry again??? (I would love to get married)
Would she want more kids?? (Again I can not wait until my later years when I am hopefully blessed with sprog)
The main reasson I asked in my OP was that the varying reaction we have both recieved when told about our relationship and thought I would ask a broader audience
Pete - No need as there were no natural child births involved.
Saxo - I am afraid I have no intention of unsatisfying two women at the same time let alone posting what would undoubtably look like embarassing fumblings on the net
S
I met her a few months ago and are continuing to "take it slow". She is older than I and the children are early secondary school and infants. I try not to have too much to do with the children as I feel another man in there life may just confuse what is already a very confusing and difficult situation for them.
I am not going to jeopordise what could be potentially a very good thing for me (And her aswell
) for the sake of circumstances and baggage.The way I see it we all have baggage in some shape or form.
The only questions I have over the whole thing would be:
Would she want to marry again??? (I would love to get married)
Would she want more kids?? (Again I can not wait until my later years when I am hopefully blessed with sprog)
The main reasson I asked in my OP was that the varying reaction we have both recieved when told about our relationship and thought I would ask a broader audience
Pete - No need as there were no natural child births involved.
Saxo - I am afraid I have no intention of unsatisfying two women at the same time let alone posting what would undoubtably look like embarassing fumblings on the net
S
24 June 2008, 11:05 AM
#17
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24 June 2008, 11:19 AM
#18
My friend is in the same situation as you ... strangely .. to the point where I hope this isn't him posting ...
He gets on great with the kids and spends a lot of time with them. He has also moved in with them ! not just the kids, the mother lives there too
He was a very heavy drinker and into his sniff sniff, but since she came along, hes calmed right down and I would say shes the best thing that's happened to him !!
Go for it !
He gets on great with the kids and spends a lot of time with them. He has also moved in with them ! not just the kids, the mother lives there too
He was a very heavy drinker and into his sniff sniff, but since she came along, hes calmed right down and I would say shes the best thing that's happened to him !!
Go for it !
24 June 2008, 11:24 AM
#19
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If she was fit I'd bang her, then run away. I hate kids. Don't want any of my own and certainly wouldn't want to be stuck paying for someone elses little *****.
24 June 2008, 11:39 AM
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My friend is in the same situation as you ... strangely .. to the point where I hope this isn't him posting ...
He gets on great with the kids and spends a lot of time with them. He has also moved in with them ! not just the kids, the mother lives there too
He was a very heavy drinker and into his sniff sniff, but since she came along, hes calmed right down and I would say shes the best thing that's happened to him !!
Go for it !
He gets on great with the kids and spends a lot of time with them. He has also moved in with them ! not just the kids, the mother lives there too
He was a very heavy drinker and into his sniff sniff, but since she came along, hes calmed right down and I would say shes the best thing that's happened to him !!
Go for it !
I have not moved in or anything like that as it literally has only been a couple of months and I do not really spend much time with the kids as I only see her when they are with there Dad or pop round for a little while way after they are in bed.
Well I like a drink but def not into the "sniff sniff" but she has been something else for me to concentrate on toher than work all the time.
24 June 2008, 11:40 AM
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I wouldn't be thinking marriage let alone kids until I'd been with somebody for some time, you seem to be stuck on the idea of kids and marriage rather than building a relationship with somebody and seeing if either is then right for you both.
24 June 2008, 11:56 AM
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Ages - I am 30 she is 35.
S
24 June 2008, 11:56 AM
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24 June 2008, 12:09 PM
#29
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I'll start by asking questions, if I may.
Why is she getting divorced? Is it because she was unfaithful (with you)?
If she didn't want anymore kids, but you stuck by her, would you resent her kids?
If she didn't want anymore kids, would you go elsewhere?
What is it that attracts you to her? Is it because she needs some support to get through the divorce? Will you get bored after you've helped her through the divorce?
How does she feel about you? Are you the rebound?
Ask her those questions that you've told us you'd like to ask.
Not wishing to pry too much, or dent your ego, but do you find it easy to meet women?
These days dating websites are seen as socially acceptable, and not just for geeks, so you could always take a look to see if there is anything else of interest around.
The only way I would settle for a woman with baggage in tow is if it met this crieria:
There was only 1 baggage er... sorry... child.
The father was dead and couldn't interfere.
The child was only about three years old at a maximum.
I'd love to get married and have a family in the future, but I wouldn't want to do it if I knew I wouldn't be happy with the woman in question and her family.
Maybe one of the married guys/fathers on here can tell you how much it costs to raise a family of three (I think I recall seeing J4cko say he has three
).
Adding a fourth will obviously increase the cost... add to that the cost of a wedding, a four/five bedroomed house and associated mortgage etc.
I've met plenty of emotionally crippled women in their thirties. They are pyscho's. Avoid them. They'll be jealous/mistrusting and probably control freaks.
If you want a younger model, I can put you in touch with my ex, who has a 7 month old baby and is a complete psycho too. She's going to get kicked out by her current fella as he knows she's been sleeping around
I feel that this is the best advice offered in the thread.
Why is she getting divorced? Is it because she was unfaithful (with you)?
If she didn't want anymore kids, but you stuck by her, would you resent her kids?
If she didn't want anymore kids, would you go elsewhere?
What is it that attracts you to her? Is it because she needs some support to get through the divorce? Will you get bored after you've helped her through the divorce?
How does she feel about you? Are you the rebound?
Ask her those questions that you've told us you'd like to ask.
Not wishing to pry too much, or dent your ego, but do you find it easy to meet women?
These days dating websites are seen as socially acceptable, and not just for geeks, so you could always take a look to see if there is anything else of interest around.
The only way I would settle for a woman with baggage in tow is if it met this crieria:
There was only 1 baggage er... sorry... child.
The father was dead and couldn't interfere.
The child was only about three years old at a maximum.
I'd love to get married and have a family in the future, but I wouldn't want to do it if I knew I wouldn't be happy with the woman in question and her family.
Maybe one of the married guys/fathers on here can tell you how much it costs to raise a family of three (I think I recall seeing J4cko say he has three
). Adding a fourth will obviously increase the cost... add to that the cost of a wedding, a four/five bedroomed house and associated mortgage etc.
reading this I'm now more worried about the woman. Leave her alone I say. You'd be better with some emotionaly crippled 30 something who has been **** on by every man she's known. She'll be so grateful that you don't cheat on her with her sister and mum she'll happily run down the isle with you and no doubt produce the first sprong a few months later.
If you want a younger model, I can put you in touch with my ex, who has a 7 month old baby and is a complete psycho too. She's going to get kicked out by her current fella as he knows she's been sleeping around
I feel that this is the best advice offered in the thread.
24 June 2008, 12:13 PM
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Of course it's all well and good warning off someone that already has kids, but, as you get older, the chances of you hooking up with someone that doesn't have them obviously reduce.