New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Mary had a little skirt
It was slit right up the sides
And every time she wore that skirt
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt
It was slit right up the front
But she never wore that one!

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I live in a mainly Muslim community and I'm really fed up with the politically correct bollocks around here.
My local pub had to change its name from The Flying Pig, nobody speaks English in any shop you go in and you can barely cook a bacon sarnie without upsetting someone or another!
So I was so happy to see my local swimming pool fighting back, and ruining their fun for a change. It had big sign on the wall stating:

STRICTLY NO BOMBING

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Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's *** and a cowboy hat.

Now he's President of the United States."

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Child: 'Mummy! Mummy! Are little birds made of metal?'
Mum: 'Of course not, dear. Why do you think that?'
Child: 'Daddy just said he'd like to screw the bird next door!'

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Oh, crude one:


Whats the difference between a women and an oven?
An oven doesnt fart when you take your meat out.

stilover

Very funny