coolangatta

We recently had the 'Best song lyrics thread' so why not the worst
It might have been done before, sorry to the SIAL brigade
My least favourite lyrics of all time:

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, noooo!

David Lock

Deck of Cards always used to top the list

Hank somebody?

Bubba po

"Ironic" by Alanis Morrisette. I'd like to hope she rues the fecking day she wrote that pile of sh1te, but I suspect that it's made her rather a lot of money.

Shark Man

I googled the lyrics to "cobrastyle" a few days ago...ummmmm, nope still doesn't make any sense

Paul3446

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance


Utter drivel.

Shark Man

Do I need to mention James Blunt?

Bubba po

Got to write a classic
Got to write it in an attic
Baby, I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

PeteBrant

You should check out the meaning being MacArthur Park (the title of the song) before slating it


By far, the worst lyrics ever written belong to Desiree, with "life".


I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

Jesus.

Bubba po

Frigging Hell.

Wrapped around your finger
The police

You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the scylla and charybidis
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around your finger

I have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they wouldnt teach me of in college
I can see the destiny you sold
Turned into a shining band of gold

Ill be wrapped around your finger
Ill be wrapped around your finger

Mephistopheles is not your name
But I know what youre up to just the same
I will listen hard to intuition
And you will see it come to its fruition

Ill be wrapped around your finger
Ill be wrapped around your finger

Devil and the deep blue sea behind me
Vanish in the air youll never find me
I will turn your flesh to alabaster
Then you will find your servant is your master

And youll be wrapped around my finger
Youll be wrapped around your finger
Youll be wrapped around your finger

coolangatta

Ha ha, yes
Brilliantly bad!
Thanks I'd forgotten about that 'classic'.

coolangatta

'I'd rather have a piece of toast' Bleedingly fantastic!

Bubba po

Lucky Stars by Dean Friedman

What are you crazy? How in the hell can you say what you just said?
I was talking to myself. Shut the door and come to bed.
By the way, I forgot to say, your endearing mother called today.
Did you see Lisa?
Yes I saw Lisa.
Is that why...You're.. angry?
I wasn't angry.
Maybe a little.
Not even maybe.
Must be the weather.
Now don't be a baby.
We'll how am I supposed to feel with all the things you don't reveal and you can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

Would you like to talk about it?
There's not much to say.
We had lunch this afternoon. Her life's in disarray.
She still goes around as if she is always stumbling off a cliff.
Do you still want her?
What are you saying?
Do you still want her?
Baby stop playing.
Really, I mean it. Can you forget her?
Baby, now stop it. You should know better.
I know this is hard to do. But, there's no one for me but you and

You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

Baby, I'm sorry, I was wrong, I have no alibis.
I was acting like a fool and I apologize.
Listen, hon', I know you're dumb, but that's O.K., you don't have to look so glum.
Do you still love me?
Yes, I still love you.
You mean, you're not just being nice.
No, I'm not just being nice.
Do you feel sleepy.
Aw, you're so sincere. Yes, I feel sleepy.
Well, slide over here. 'Cause I may not be all that bright, but I know how to hold you tight and,

You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are and
You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are and
We can thank our lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

The Zohan

agreed!

two words
Deacon Blue!

Paul3446

I used to think that love was just a fairy tale
Until that first hello until that first smile
But if I had to do it all again I wouldn't change a thing
Cause this love is everlasting Suddenly life has new meaning to me
There's beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up suddenly you're in love


God help us!

Abdabz

Shakira - Whereever Whenever
"Look at my breasts so small and humble
So you dont confuse them
WITH MOUNTAINS"

Abdabz

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Proof that Mutt Lange really **** wonders and p1ss miracles....

coolangatta

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft

Calling occupants of interplanetary most extraordinary craft

messiah

lol, and to think I just bought some Def Leppard...

what about ABC?

oh dear, mustn't grumble,
have another peice of apple crumble...

(or something like that anyway)

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Imagine James Blunt and Chris De Burgh together in concert

Paul3446

Stop dissing James Blunt, what's wrong with this?

I have been rejected before
Trying to get another one to come in through my door
She said
I like it here
But your not gonna score
I'm not gonna let you sleep with me anymore
whoaaa

fatherpierre

Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight
that I fear most
I'd rather have a
piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life


Awful

Chelspeed

Mick the Master Farter by Kevin Bl***y Wilson

Mick, if we pay yer
would you consider farting for Australia?

Absolute classic, rhyming "pay you" and "Australia", song writing at it's best.

firesorter

"I`m as serious as cancer when i say rhythm is a dancer"

Rhythm is a dancer by Snap

PeteBrant

Man, its got even worse since I put it up in post #8

shamrock

Stick your hands up in the air
Wave them round like you just don't care

Various Artists

Paul3446

There really is no excuse for using the word toast in a song!

Here's another James Blunt beauty!

I'm on a bus. I'm in a rush.
I would catch a cab, but I'm not that fussed.
Another day. Another dime.
I know some might say, that I'm wasting time.
And then at night, another fight,
And I don't know what it means but I'd never cause a scene.

I'm gonna make today sugar-coated.
I'm gonna get so high I'm lying here on the floor.
It's time these shoes of mine were fully loaded.
It's time to sit back and smile.
I've had a smoke and it's been a while.
It's been a while.

Hello dawn. It's good to be.
Did I pay for the girl lying next to me?
I had a love, but little luck.
I don't bleed any more 'cause my heart's been crushed.
And now I'm free - lucky me.
Yeah my girlfriend was a bore, she don't love me anymore.

fatherpierre

D'oh.

Just up after a long night shift

PeteBrant

No worries, it just proves what a knowledgeable chap you are

darts_aint_sport

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

Men At Work.

Both fantastic and awful at the same time.

G00ner

Best and worst all in one song -

Plaistow Patricia

Arseholes, *******s, ****ing ****s and ******

Aerosol, the bricks
A lawless brat from a council flat - oh, oh
A little bit of this and a little bit of that - oh, oh
Dirty tricks

From the Mile End Road
To the match-stick Beacontree
Pulling strokes and taking liberties
She liked it best when she went up west - oh, oh
You can go to hell with your 'well, well, well' - oh, oh

Who said good things always come in threes?
Reds and yellows, purples, blues and greens
She turned the corner before she turned fifteen
She got into a mess on the NHS - oh, oh
It runs down your arms and settles in your palms - oh, oh

Keep your eyeballs white and keep your needle clean
Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia

Her **** had dropped, her **** was getting spread
She lost some teeth, she nearly lost the thread
She did some smack with a Chinese chap - oh, oh, oh
An affair began with Charlie Chan - oh, oh

Well, that was just before she really lost her head
Now she owns a showroom down the Mile End Road
And her outer garments are the latest mode
There's a Siamese cat in the council flat - oh, oh
The finest grains for my lady's veins - oh, oh

And when it gets out of order, she goes away for a bit
Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
Ohh, go on, girl