Couple of Jokes
31 March 2008, 04:58 PM
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Couple of Jokes
Don't normally post up jokes that I've been sent - but these were too good to not share.
Parked my car in a disabled spot the other day and a traffic warden shouted over "Oi - What's your disability ?"
I Replied "Tourettes - now f*** off you c**t"
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Told the wife that I thought I saw her name on a loaf of bread the other day.
I re-read it and it said "Thick Cut"
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Parked my car in a disabled spot the other day and a traffic warden shouted over "Oi - What's your disability ?"
I Replied "Tourettes - now f*** off you c**t"
**************************
Told the wife that I thought I saw her name on a loaf of bread the other day.
I re-read it and it said "Thick Cut"
**************************
31 March 2008, 05:10 PM
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A man was speaking to his new wife on their wedding night and his new wife said "Look - I've got something to tell you - I used to be a hooker"
The guy said "Hey - your past is your past - infact I'm getting quite aroused by it - tell me more"
"Well - My name was Nigel and I played for Wigan"
The guy said "Hey - your past is your past - infact I'm getting quite aroused by it - tell me more"
"Well - My name was Nigel and I played for Wigan"
31 March 2008, 05:30 PM
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There was one about women who get their selves all plucked, shaved etc etc but still wont take it up the **** cos it hurts - but I'm not telling that one now
31 March 2008, 05:46 PM
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The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?'
The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some gimp in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?'
The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some gimp in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
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31 March 2008, 05:50 PM
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The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?'
The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some gimp in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?'
The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some gimp in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
You know that new archeology dig they just started at Stonehenge, was this the first thing that surfaced??
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