Couple of Jokes
 

Don't normally post up jokes that I've been sent - but these were too good to not share.

Parked my car in a disabled spot the other day and a traffic warden shouted over "Oi - What's your disability ?"

I Replied "Tourettes - now f*** off you c**t"


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Told the wife that I thought I saw her name on a loaf of bread the other day.

I re-read it and it said "Thick Cut"

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:D

I liked the second best.......:thumb:

A man was speaking to his new wife on their wedding night and his new wife said "Look - I've got something to tell you - I used to be a hooker"

The guy said "Hey - your past is your past - infact I'm getting quite aroused by it - tell me more"


"Well - My name was Nigel and I played for Wigan"

:D

Is it too late to ask for a refund?

:cool:

bit harsh, he is trying :lol1:

:mad:

There was one about women who get their selves all plucked, shaved etc etc but still wont take it up the arse cos it hurts - but I'm not telling that one now :razz:

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?'

The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some gimp in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'

You know that new archeology dig they just started at Stonehenge, was this the first thing that surfaced??:lol1: :lol: