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Would you give a sample for a DNA paternity test?

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Old 13 March 2008, 01:26 AM
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ScoobyWon't
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Question Would you give a sample for a DNA paternity test?

If an ex-partner of yours had given birth to a child in a time-frame which could possibly enable the child to be yours, would you agree to provide a sample of your DNA to establish if you are or are not the paternal father?

The question of paternity has been raised by doubts by the mother of the child, and the grand parents on the mothers-side. They cannot see many resemblances of father/child between the registered father and the child, but they see more resemblances to the ex-partner, same eye colour, similar structure of cheek bones (different to both registerd parents). The time-scales between conception by both potential fathers is minimal adds further to the confusion.

Do you think that the ex-partner should provide a DNA sample to establish that he is or isn't the father? Even if he is not affected by the childs mother or grand parents being confused over the paternity? The potential father is satisfied that the child is not his as he does not see any resemblences to himself.

Obviously there are various questions raised from a positive outcome; if it is established that the real father is in fact the ex-partner, would that result in him being liable to pay maintenance? Would he be able to apply for access to the child?

The way I see it is if it is a negative outcome, then he has lost nothing, but should he even be asked to do it if he wants nothing to do with the child or his ex-partner?

Advice, thoughts and comments will be gladly received and passed on to my mate ( as if any of you will believe I am actually asking on behalf of a mate) in question before he does run off to Canada as he's already suggested.

I already suggested that I'll provide the sample for him if he wants the test to be proven negative. But don't tell anyone. Mum's the word. Or in this case, should Dad be the word?
Old 13 March 2008, 01:32 AM
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Fuzz
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If the ex partner was looking for payout, saying "it" was mine then dam right I would have the test.
Old 13 March 2008, 01:37 AM
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Lee247
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Very emotive question. Surely the child is foremost in this. I would want to know who my Dad is
Old 13 March 2008, 01:45 AM
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Sonic'
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If the ex partner is indeed the real father, then he is liable for CSA and yes he can apply for access to see the child (if mother doesnt agree outside of courts etc)

The DNA sample would likely be a swab taken from the mouth, not sure what the penalty is for falsifying that kind of information

Imagine the other side of that tho, if the ex partner is the father, falsifies the DNA samples and the child finds out in years to come
Old 13 March 2008, 01:59 AM
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ScoobyWon't
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Originally Posted by Fuzz
If the ex partner was looking for payout, saying "it" was mine then dam right I would have the test.
Am I right in assuming you would take it prove it isn't your child?

Originally Posted by 84of300
Very emotive question. Surely the child is foremost in this. I would want to know who my Dad is
The child in question is not yet 4 months old so she won't be doubting it. She has a mother and father in her life, and surely the father's who's name is on the birth certificate is the one who is legally recognised as her father. Not the ex-partner who it could be.

Originally Posted by Sonic'
If the ex partner is indeed the real father, then he is liable for CSA and yes he can apply for access to see the child (if mother doesnt agree outside of courts etc)

The DNA sample would likely be a swab taken from the mouth, not sure what the penalty is for falsifying that kind of information

Imagine the other side of that tho, if the ex partner is the father, falsifies the DNA samples and the child finds out in years to come
I imagine it would only be an offense if it was used as a legally binding piece of evidence. However as the ex-partner does not want to contest custody or access, and is happy in his belief that it is not his child, then he could provide a non-binding test which is just for private use.

OK, so the child has a right to know who her real partner is, but hat sort of affect would that have on the relationship of the mother and the legally recognised father who has been rasing the child as his own?
Old 13 March 2008, 02:03 AM
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Fuzz
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
Am I right in assuming you would take it prove it isn't your child?

Correct.
Old 13 March 2008, 02:04 AM
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Question

Originally Posted by Fuzz
Correct.
What would you do if it did turn out to be yours?
Old 13 March 2008, 02:07 AM
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Fuzz
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Swallow...

HARD
Old 13 March 2008, 02:10 AM
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Sonic'
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I didnt think you could do a non binding test from the CSA's point of view, but I may be wrong
Old 13 March 2008, 02:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Sonic'
I didnt think you could do a non binding test from the CSA's point of view, but I may be wrong
The mother and grand parents just want to clarify who the real father is, to put all reasonable doubt to rest. There is no question of the test being performed as a binding act, it would just be a self-test kit, rather than the legally binding ones that a doctor must perform.
Old 13 March 2008, 02:31 AM
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unless you want to find out and be part of the childs life just say no. it sounds like a right mess
Old 13 March 2008, 03:29 AM
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sportwagonred
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agree with above. If you want to be the FATHER take the test if not REFUSE the child already has a daddy and if he's prepared to carry on being daddy leave well enough alone. Mother should know who the father is and if she don't tough. If you do a none binding self test and it turns out positive there's nothing to stop her in the future going to the CSA or it's equivalent and pressing for maintainance for the child if not for herself. Think about it sensibly and keep out of it unless your friend is prepared to pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Old 13 March 2008, 03:49 AM
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ScoobyWon't
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Originally Posted by sportwagonred
If you do a none binding self test and it turns out positive there's nothing to stop her in the future going to the CSA or it's equivalent and pressing for maintainance for the child if not for herself.
How can a none-binding positive result allow her to go to the CSA? Main point being that it is none-binding and done privately without any witnesses? Can the CSA force him to have a court-admissable, binding test?

I did read the following (taken from dnalabs who are advertising at the bottom of this thread)

What is the difference between a court-admissible test and the standard DNA test offered?

There is no actual difference in the test itself. The same scientists carry them out in exactly the same manner. However to be court-admissible a strict protocol needs to be followed starting from the time the samples are obtained from the test persons. The overwhelming majority of our customers is interested in receiving accurate, efficient answers at an affordable price and our standard test offer is based on a home drawn sample, where the identity of the specimen donors cannot be verified by us. All our laboratory technicians can say with certainty is that the person whose DNA is on swab A is or isn’t the father of the person whose DNA is on swab B. We do not know if the name on the sample is the true name of the sample donor (you may chose not to give us the real names if you don’t want to, but it may help with your understanding of the results).

In contrast, a court admissible test requires the cell samples to be taken in the presence of an independent third party such as a doctor or lawyer who will have to ascertain the identity of each test candidate and then a complex chain of custody of the samples has to be undertaken to make sure nobody can manipulate the evidence before or after it reaches the laboratory. This is also the reason why court admissible tests are several times as expensive as our standard test.
Old 13 March 2008, 09:07 AM
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OllyK
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
The mother and grand parents just want to clarify who the real father is, to put all reasonable doubt to rest. There is no question of the test being performed as a binding act, it would just be a self-test kit, rather than the legally binding ones that a doctor must perform.
So has the result come back negative from the guy who is with her now? Until he's been tested and it comes back negative I see little point in the ex having to do anything.
Old 13 March 2008, 09:29 AM
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Will be awkward if it comes back and it isnt her ex or the current partner !!!
Old 13 March 2008, 09:47 AM
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PeteBrant
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Originally Posted by phil_wrx
unless you want to find out and be part of the childs life just say no. it sounds like a right mess
Indeed. If you take the test you have to be prepared to be a father, and support the child both emotionally and financially. If you aren't, then don't take it and never have anything to do with the mother/child again.
Old 13 March 2008, 09:54 AM
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OllyK
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Originally Posted by MikeCardiff
Will be awkward if it comes back and it isnt her ex or the current partner !!!
Only for her!
Old 13 March 2008, 10:26 AM
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lil_kimmy
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Surely if your friend is the father he SHOULD take responsibility for not using protection.

I just feel sorry for the child.
Old 13 March 2008, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by lil_kimmy
Surely if your friend is the father he SHOULD take responsibility for not using protection.
.
Well of course, if you father a child you have a moral and ethical obligation to care for it and raise it.

But, I don't think forcing someone into that situation does any good for anyone - How anyone can actually not want to care for and support thier own child is beyond my comprehension, but there are people that don't feel the same way.
Old 13 March 2008, 12:56 PM
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ChrisGrant
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Originally Posted by PeteBrant
Well of course, if you father a child you have a moral and ethical obligation to care for it and raise it.

But, I don't think forcing someone into that situation does any good for anyone - How anyone can actually not want to care for and support thier own child is beyond my comprehension, but there are people that don't feel the same way.
Took the words right out of my mouth!


I'm a single day by the way

Also great taking him down the park all the girl’s swan around going oh arrrr and where's the mother? I’m single I reply do you want to come back to my place? I say do you have any condoms? No! RUN AWAY!
Old 13 March 2008, 12:59 PM
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Markus
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I'd refuse a DNA test until the person who is registered as the child's father has had a DNA test and the outcome is known, unless that has already happened?

I find it somewhat odd that the chap who they initially thought was the father has not been tested, surely that's the first person you'd test, unless there is more and meets the eye here and the mother and grandparents want someone else to test positive so they can tell the current chappy he's not the father and thus can sling his hook.
Old 13 March 2008, 01:02 PM
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Clarebabes
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It depends on their motives. Are "you" going to be used as a cash machine, or do they want "you" to be part of the baby's life.
Old 13 March 2008, 01:14 PM
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In the circumstances as described, no I wouldn't.

As described, the girl has a current relationship/boyfriend and doesn't have anything to do with your mate at the moment.... Unless she's a slapper.

Taking the test and getting a positive result could tear every thing apart in 2 minutes. Don't underestimate the emotions that will be released when any doubts are removed and everyone is 100% certain of the situation.

J.
Old 13 March 2008, 02:49 PM
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Leslie
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Depends on how the suspected father feels about wanting to know if it his his son and whether he wants to take on full responsibility.Can he be forced to give the sample by law?

I think you would be very unwise to give a sample on his behalf.

Les
Old 13 March 2008, 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by OllyK
So has the result come back negative from the guy who is with her now? Until he's been tested and it comes back negative I see little point in the ex having to do anything.
No tests have been performed on either suspect so far. Latest development seems that the registered one doesn't think it's his either.

Originally Posted by PeteBrant
Indeed. If you take the test you have to be prepared to be a father, and support the child both emotionally and financially. If you aren't, then don't take it and never have anything to do with the mother/child again.
Originally Posted by lil_kimmy
Surely if your friend is the father he SHOULD take responsibility for not using protection.
But he won't know until someone does the test, but should it be him that provides a sample after being misled about the whole paternity matter until the child is four months old. Surely he has already been deprived of taking any sort of responsibilty towards the child?

Originally Posted by hutton_d
In my view the onus is on the current boyfriend (as the ridiculous word 'partner' is used I presume they're not married?) to prove one way or another first. If he's not the dad, then your *mate* should have the test done. That way he'll know one way or another. I would want to know if the kid is mine for sure.

Having *rights* implies *responsibilities* as well and having kids has loads of responsibilities!

Dave
Originally Posted by PeteBrant
But, I don't think forcing someone into that situation does any good for anyone - How anyone can actually not want to care for and support thier own child is beyond my comprehension, but there are people that don't feel the same way.
It seems like they are all trying to build his hopes up in my eyes, but I wouldn't want to see him crushed if he did provide a sample and it turned out to be negative.


Originally Posted by Markus
I find it somewhat odd that the chap who they initially thought was the father has not been tested, surely that's the first person you'd test, unless there is more and meets the eye here and the mother and grandparents want someone else to test positive so they can tell the current chappy he's not the father and thus can sling his hook.
Great minds think alike, I reckon this is the excuse they are all looking for. But surely that'd mean that they are just using my mate as an excuse.

Originally Posted by vindaloo
As described, the girl has a current relationship/boyfriend and doesn't have anything to do with your mate at the moment
Which I think she is looking for a way to leave. Convinience, maybe? Is it her way of getting out and putting a roof over her and the childs head?

Originally Posted by vindaloo
Taking the test and getting a positive result could tear every thing apart in 2 minutes. Don't underestimate the emotions that will be released when any doubts are removed and everyone is 100% certain of the situation.
I can see both sides to this. If it turns out negative, then they can all leave him alone to get on with his life in peace. If he doesn't, then surely that will niggle away at him. If it's positive then what? It would turn your life inside out even if he did want it to be his and he was willing to support the child. I can't wait to meet the right woman for me and have a family of my own, but if I had missed out on my child coming into the world, her first christmas etc I'd be gutted.
Old 13 March 2008, 07:22 PM
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Markus
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
Great minds think alike, I reckon this is the excuse they are all looking for. But surely that'd mean that they are just using my mate as an excuse.
Yes, it would mean they are using your "mate" as an excuse to remove the registered father from the picture for whatever reason, which is somewhat callous, unless he's a danger to them or the child.

Another thing that popped into my head is that perhaps the registered father and the mother want shot of the kid, and may be trying this on as a way to say "it's not his, I don't want her, you're the father, take care of her for 4 months as we have" Then they bugger off somewhere leaving your friend to deal with the little one. That's rather far fetched though, and and exceptionally callous on the part of the mother.
Old 13 March 2008, 09:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Markus
Yes, it would mean they are using your "mate"
You think it's me don't you?!?
Old 13 March 2008, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
You think it's me don't you?!?
No I don't, just winding you up (sorry), as I'm sure you would have told them to take a running jump and get the registered father tested before asking you to get tested. It's Aircon Dave isn't it (or perhaps ACD is the registered father and that's the reason they want the test, so they can oust the seed bag )
Old 14 March 2008, 12:37 AM
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
You think it's me don't you?!?
Don't worry, we all jumped to that conclusion within the first sentence


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