Sh!t hotel
22 November 2007, 07:50 PM
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**** hotel
I had to stop off in Bracknell this evening so got the company to book me a "hotel", I started to get worried when the hotel was not on the sat nav list 
So I pull into what looks like somebodys drive with my new £205 suitcase and laptop bag only to find it was a bloody gravel track so had to hump all this stuff into the hotel
When I got into what they call reception I see a drink cabinet, I ask where the bar is and they point me to this cabinet
.
So she takes me and my luggage up a flight of stairs to my room, I enter and it stinks of ****, I ask if this is a non smoking room 
to which she replies yes, this is non smoking, would you like a smoking room?...
she then sniff and appologises for the smell... Thanks
anyhow i'm now sat in what they call a restaurant where I see the receptionist / maid / cook in the what resembles a microwave room.
The "bar" in the corner has no decent beer (fosters and boddingtons i ask you), The only bonus is that the bar is a trust bar, and i'm about to cain it.
not cheap either
RANT OVER
So I pull into what looks like somebodys drive with my new £205 suitcase and laptop bag only to find it was a bloody gravel track so had to hump all this stuff into the hotel
When I got into what they call reception I see a drink cabinet, I ask where the bar is and they point me to this cabinet
.So she takes me and my luggage up a flight of stairs to my room, I enter and it stinks of ****
, I ask if this is a non smoking room to which she replies yes, this is non smoking, would you like a smoking room?...she then sniff and appologises for the smell... Thanks
anyhow i'm now sat in what they call a restaurant where I see the receptionist / maid / cook in the what resembles a microwave room.
The "bar" in the corner has no decent beer (fosters and boddingtons i ask you), The only bonus is that the bar is a trust bar, and i'm about to cain it.
not cheap either
RANT OVER
22 November 2007, 08:26 PM
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22 November 2007, 08:32 PM
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I'll raise you this place, the Aqua Sport Hotel in Portland. Hotel Aqua - for staying in Weymouth&Portland, Dorset, UK
£20 a night whan I stayed there, which bought me.
1. Reception closed when I arrived at 8pm, had to go in a nearby pub and ask if anyone knew how to get in touch with the hotel owner, and then get someone to come out and check me in. It turned out they'd "forgotten completely" about my advance booking.
2. Room was slightly bigger than a single bed, approx 2ft of space round 2 sides of the bed.
3. Bed was full of fleas, fecking loads of them.
(no idea how as fleas don't live on humans do they? These were the big ones my cat used to have. ).
4. Walls were a single thickness of plywood, so you could hear the pi$$ed women next door coming back at 1am and whispering about the blokes they're ******** behind their husbands backs (classy). The walls were so thin I could hear the quiet swooshing sound of clothes being removed as they undressed for bed. The only bonus was they could clearly hear me shout "oh could you shut the **** up you stupid b1tches" after about 1hr of trying to ignore their inane banter, then I could hear them whisper "ooh he doesn't sound happy *giggle*" and thus reply "no I'm ******* not, and neither will your husbands be if they're in the other adjacent room".
5. Bar, I think there was one, but it was closed/locked.
It's the most shockingly crap place I've ever stayed at, including hovels in Eastern europe and Africa. After one night I checked out and got a bed at the nearby Youth Hostel, which by contrast was clean, efficiently run, and cost a mere £12 a night.
£20 a night whan I stayed there, which bought me.
1. Reception closed when I arrived at 8pm, had to go in a nearby pub and ask if anyone knew how to get in touch with the hotel owner, and then get someone to come out and check me in. It turned out they'd "forgotten completely" about my advance booking.
2. Room was slightly bigger than a single bed, approx 2ft of space round 2 sides of the bed.
3. Bed was full of fleas, fecking loads of them.
(no idea how as fleas don't live on humans do they? These were the big ones my cat used to have. ).4. Walls were a single thickness of plywood, so you could hear the pi$$ed women next door coming back at 1am and whispering about the blokes they're ******** behind their husbands backs (classy). The walls were so thin I could hear the quiet swooshing sound of clothes being removed as they undressed for bed. The only bonus was they could clearly hear me shout "oh could you shut the **** up you stupid b1tches" after about 1hr of trying to ignore their inane banter, then I could hear them whisper "ooh he doesn't sound happy *giggle*" and thus reply "no I'm ******* not, and neither will your husbands be if they're in the other adjacent room".
5. Bar, I think there was one, but it was closed/locked.
It's the most shockingly crap place I've ever stayed at, including hovels in Eastern europe and Africa. After one night I checked out and got a bed at the nearby Youth Hostel, which by contrast was clean, efficiently run, and cost a mere £12 a night.
Last edited by Vampire; 22 November 2007 at 08:34 PM.
22 November 2007, 09:22 PM
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Straight out the seventies
"Expert Ruth Watson assesses a 16-bedroom country hotel set in the heart of the New Forest, where its restaurant has recently lost its coveted AA rosette and the decor is beginning to look dated."
"Expert Ruth Watson assesses a 16-bedroom country hotel set in the heart of the New Forest, where its restaurant has recently lost its coveted AA rosette and the decor is beginning to look dated."
22 November 2007, 09:43 PM
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I'll raise you this place, the Aqua Sport Hotel in Portland. Hotel Aqua - for staying in Weymouth&Portland, Dorset, UK
£20 a night whan I stayed there, which bought me.
1. Reception closed when I arrived at 8pm, had to go in a nearby pub and ask if anyone knew how to get in touch with the hotel owner, and then get someone to come out and check me in. It turned out they'd "forgotten completely" about my advance booking.
2. Room was slightly bigger than a single bed, approx 2ft of space round 2 sides of the bed.
3. Bed was full of fleas, fecking loads of them. (no idea how as fleas don't live on humans do they? These were the big ones my cat used to have. ).
4. Walls were a single thickness of plywood, so you could hear the pi$$ed women next door coming back at 1am and whispering about the blokes they're ******** behind their husbands backs (classy). The walls were so thin I could hear the quiet swooshing sound of clothes being removed as they undressed for bed. The only bonus was they could clearly hear me shout "oh could you shut the **** up you stupid b1tches" after about 1hr of trying to ignore their inane banter, then I could hear them whisper "ooh he doesn't sound happy *giggle*" and thus reply "no I'm ******* not, and neither will your husbands be if they're in the other adjacent room".
5. Bar, I think there was one, but it was closed/locked.
It's the most shockingly crap place I've ever stayed at, including hovels in Eastern europe and Africa. After one night I checked out and got a bed at the nearby Youth Hostel, which by contrast was clean, efficiently run, and cost a mere £12 a night.
£20 a night whan I stayed there, which bought me.
1. Reception closed when I arrived at 8pm, had to go in a nearby pub and ask if anyone knew how to get in touch with the hotel owner, and then get someone to come out and check me in. It turned out they'd "forgotten completely" about my advance booking.
2. Room was slightly bigger than a single bed, approx 2ft of space round 2 sides of the bed.
3. Bed was full of fleas, fecking loads of them.
(no idea how as fleas don't live on humans do they? These were the big ones my cat used to have. ).4. Walls were a single thickness of plywood, so you could hear the pi$$ed women next door coming back at 1am and whispering about the blokes they're ******** behind their husbands backs (classy). The walls were so thin I could hear the quiet swooshing sound of clothes being removed as they undressed for bed. The only bonus was they could clearly hear me shout "oh could you shut the **** up you stupid b1tches" after about 1hr of trying to ignore their inane banter, then I could hear them whisper "ooh he doesn't sound happy *giggle*" and thus reply "no I'm ******* not, and neither will your husbands be if they're in the other adjacent room".
5. Bar, I think there was one, but it was closed/locked.
It's the most shockingly crap place I've ever stayed at, including hovels in Eastern europe and Africa. After one night I checked out and got a bed at the nearby Youth Hostel, which by contrast was clean, efficiently run, and cost a mere £12 a night.
I've stayed there.... More than once too
Scuba divers haven, not really meant to be posh. Good job too as we'd wreck it with all our gear anyway.
22 November 2007, 10:07 PM
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Raise you: Hotel in Sheffield - Eccleshall Road somewhere.
Friend stayed at this place for a wedding held in Grindleford. Woke up in the middle of the night and felt something crawling on his face...
It was a wasp (and a big mother at that). Flicked it off his face, but woke up in the morning with 18 stings on his face. The owner admitted there had been a wasp problem and reimbursed him for the stay.
Nik
Friend stayed at this place for a wedding held in Grindleford. Woke up in the middle of the night and felt something crawling on his face...
It was a wasp (and a big mother at that). Flicked it off his face, but woke up in the morning with 18 stings on his face. The owner admitted there had been a wasp problem and reimbursed him for the stay.
Nik
22 November 2007, 10:32 PM
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Well this is another hotel to tick off the Bracknell list
1) Coppid (rancid) Beech - colleague woke me up at 3am for the car keys as he was going home due to the fact the his bed was crawling with bed bugs
2) Dukes Ride Crowthorne - This time I get the bugs
3) The Fines - Utter Crap.
1) Coppid (rancid) Beech - colleague woke me up at 3am for the car keys as he was going home due to the fact the his bed was crawling with bed bugs
2) Dukes Ride Crowthorne - This time I get the bugs
3) The Fines - Utter Crap.
22 November 2007, 10:55 PM
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Check next to your bed for manky toe nail clippings.
If you can't find any, its better than the hotel I stopped in
Thankfully, when I used to work on the road. We had an account with Travelodge. Ok its nothing special, but at least you know it'll have pub next door
If you can't find any, its better than the hotel I stopped in
Thankfully, when I used to work on the road. We had an account with Travelodge. Ok its nothing special, but at least you know it'll have pub next door
22 November 2007, 11:00 PM
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22 November 2007, 11:15 PM
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Bed bugs seems to be a reoccurring favourite..
Yup had them too in some little B&B sh1tehole in Oban Scuba diving again..
Bloody divers are such cheap skates.
Marriott for me next time I think
Yup had them too in some little B&B sh1tehole in Oban Scuba diving again..
Bloody divers are such cheap skates.
Marriott for me next time I think
23 November 2007, 08:16 AM
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I once had the displeasure of staying in a motel in Morgan City, Louisianna.
When I told my American Friends I was staying there they asked me if I wanted to borrow a gun
I thought they were joking until I got there
When I told my American Friends I was staying there they asked me if I wanted to borrow a gun
I thought they were joking until I got there
23 November 2007, 09:15 AM
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23 November 2007, 10:23 AM
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When I got into what they call reception I see a drink cabinet, I ask where the bar is and they point me to this cabinet
.So she takes me and my luggage up a flight of stairs to my room, I enter and it stinks of ****
, I ask if this is a non smoking room to which she replies yes, this is non smoking, would you like a smoking room?...she then sniff and appologises for the smell... Thanks
anyhow i'm now sat in what they call a restaurant where I see the receptionist / maid / cook in the what resembles a microwave room.
The "bar" in the corner has no decent beer (fosters and boddingtons i ask you), The only bonus is that the bar is a trust bar, and i'm about to cain it.
Was the "receptionist / maid / cook" quite fat, by any chance?
23 November 2007, 10:32 AM
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The place looked like a scene from Terminator - Rise of the machines.
The room I stayed in backed onto a car park and had a door that would be considered flimsy on a B&Q Green house.
All night the car park was being used to do drug deals.
To say I was bricking it is the understatement of the Millennium.
Still - I survived
The room I stayed in backed onto a car park and had a door that would be considered flimsy on a B&Q Green house.
All night the car park was being used to do drug deals.
To say I was bricking it is the understatement of the Millennium.
Still - I survived
23 November 2007, 10:33 AM
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Done the same too many times in my repping days.
One hotel was next to a major junction, had wallpaper falling off, damp stinking carpets and I didn't sleep a wink. Cost a fair bit too.
If it's for business now, I tend to stick to Holiday Inns and the like. Narrow minded but at least you know they'll be pretty decent.
One hotel was next to a major junction, had wallpaper falling off, damp stinking carpets and I didn't sleep a wink. Cost a fair bit too.
If it's for business now, I tend to stick to Holiday Inns and the like. Narrow minded but at least you know they'll be pretty decent.
23 November 2007, 01:10 PM
#26
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Can't say I've ever been in a bad hotel. Got turned away from a Hotel in Ireland about 8 years ago. My mother had booked a night a present. We missed the ferry and she said I could use the same details to stay over until the morning. They turned us away thinking we'd stolen the card.
Whilst visiting my Bro in Gibraltar we stayed in a hotel there for 2 nights. One night there was a right commotion upstairs. Think a couple had been out on the pish, come back to the room and decided to beat the hell out of each other. Woke my daughter up so had to go downstairs to complain. Several rooms had complained and I was told the couple we're playing. Yeah, she really sounded like she was playing!!
Last place we stayed was brillant. Four Pillars in Witney. Russian receptionist would have had it there and then given the chance!
Only downside was I ate a dodgy chinese in Woodstock and proceeded to spend the next day sat on the bog with an upset bot, puking into the bath. Made it as far as my fathers 65th birthday meal and passed out in the back of the scoob.
Whilst visiting my Bro in Gibraltar we stayed in a hotel there for 2 nights. One night there was a right commotion upstairs. Think a couple had been out on the pish, come back to the room and decided to beat the hell out of each other. Woke my daughter up so had to go downstairs to complain. Several rooms had complained and I was told the couple we're playing. Yeah, she really sounded like she was playing!!
Last place we stayed was brillant. Four Pillars in Witney. Russian receptionist would have had it there and then given the chance!
Only downside was I ate a dodgy chinese in Woodstock and proceeded to spend the next day sat on the bog with an upset bot, puking into the bath. Made it as far as my fathers 65th birthday meal and passed out in the back of the scoob.
23 November 2007, 01:22 PM
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23 November 2007, 02:44 PM
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That wouldn't happen to be The Dial house would it or the Waterloo hotel? they are the only 2 I know on Dukes Ride.
Dial house used to be family run place run by a German woman.
The waerloo hotel used to be a fairly good pub until they decided to go up market and build a hotel there, they used to keep penguins in the pub garden at one stage.
Dial house used to be family run place run by a German woman.
The waerloo hotel used to be a fairly good pub until they decided to go up market and build a hotel there, they used to keep penguins in the pub garden at one stage.
23 November 2007, 02:55 PM
#30
I have stayed in a lot of hotels in Africa and most aren't too bad, as long as you aren't too far off the beaten track. My worst stay was at a hotel near Ndola in northern Zambia. Apparently the place had been abandond for 20 years, during which time it had fallen somewhat into a state of disrepair. The new owners had done nothing to renovate it, just opened for business as it was.
Got to my room to find:
There was a 2ft x 2ft hole in the wall where the aircon unit used to be (very reassuring in a malaria area and where you could hear other much larger animals wandering around outside at night).
There was only cold water.
The food was horrible (the only time in my life I have left a whole plate of food virtually untouched).
There was something in the bed which bit me every night.
The places only saving grace was that it could serve cold beers, which I pretty much lived off for the next week.
I asked to see the other available rooms, which were actually in worse condition.
I couldn't go anywhere else, as I needed to be near to my work site and the next closest hotel was 150 miles away across some very nasty and dangerous roads.
When I got back from the trip, I told my boss if he needed someone to go out there again, he could bloody go himself!
Got to my room to find:
There was a 2ft x 2ft hole in the wall where the aircon unit used to be (very reassuring in a malaria area and where you could hear other much larger animals wandering around outside at night).
There was only cold water.
The food was horrible (the only time in my life I have left a whole plate of food virtually untouched).
There was something in the bed which bit me every night.
The places only saving grace was that it could serve cold beers, which I pretty much lived off for the next week.
I asked to see the other available rooms, which were actually in worse condition.
I couldn't go anywhere else, as I needed to be near to my work site and the next closest hotel was 150 miles away across some very nasty and dangerous roads.
When I got back from the trip, I told my boss if he needed someone to go out there again, he could bloody go himself!